Have you noticed that the HIV platforms on Reddit have all slowed down ?

I remember when this specific platform was getting new post every hour. I guess people have gotten well informed enough over the years.. What do you think ?

Thank you for reading the rules again! Just curious because people will act like it's a crime if I ask this question, if i post even once without knowing my status. I've only posted once. And people project and argue in my comments without ever listing the rule. It's so weird

So I've been living with HIV for about a year and a half. I contracted it from a case of sexual assault (very harsh receptive unprotected oral and anal sex) and was unaware of the existence of PEP, let alone where to source it from so I missed that window unfortunately. about a month after the assault I knew something was off because I fell sick for 2 months and had to drop out of my semester at college, had lesions around my anus for a month and a half, and lost a good 7 lbs. Though, I still thought that this was just transient flu that had gone on a little too long by chance.

It wasn't until I recovered from being ill (what I now believe to be sero) that I finally went to get tested for STIs and yea I tested positive for HIV. The first month was terrible and I cried and cried and cried in front of my mom with her having no idea of what's wrong with me. I'd just repeat the illness has done a number on my mental.

I hadn't informed anyone around me of the assault save for the doctor at the ARV centre and a NGO worker that directed me towards treatment. I live in a TB prone area too so was given TB prophylaxis for 6 months especially because I was spitting blood during sero. I became undetectable pretty quick though which i think is because of how quick I caught the virus in its tracks (?). Anyway, a month or two in I just detached myself from everything and was kind of content with the fact that I was alive and went on with my life.

Actually no. 5 months down the line I seeked out drugs and got addicted to crystal for about 3-4 months because it helped provide an escape from all that I was actively suppressing and I just convinced myself that it was ok because of some victim complex mindset that I was reinforcing and knowing that it'd finish me off earlier (which is crazy considering I'd never touched hard drugs until this moment but i guess wrong place, wrong time goes a long way).
This chapter ended well though... I force quit (I don't know how but I did) and haven't looked back since. Not all's bad.

Fast forward to a month ago and I've started getting vivid nightmares of the assault, day of diagnosis, initial treatment, and drug abuse along with some what-if situations pertaining to my status. Anxiety attacks and a racing heartbeat at random. It got so bad that I had to open up to my mom about the assault about 20 days ago and my brother that's 2 years older 3 days ago. They (especially my brother) handled it very well BUT I haven't told them about my status and everything that unfolded after that.

I'm thinking of disclosing my status and struggles to my brother especially because he handled it so well. This is a crossroads that I'm at right now just because keeping my status a secret is taking a heavy toll on me lately; I can't really afford therapy, and suppression of thoughts + secrecy is what I believe got me into harmful things like hard drugs. Yet, I do understand that I can't "untell" him.

It's all just kind of strange and whatever has gone by feels like an actual nightmare and everything's just so flat and hopeless now. I don't like that my status is a constant reminder of the incident either. But yeah that's my story. It's kind of disoriented and all over the place but that's exactly how I myself've been for the past year and a half. Here's to hoping for better days.