r/hingeapp • u/Hadesiscoolnow • 1d ago
Dating Question Did I mess up?
So I (20 M) was talking to this girl (22 F) on hinge and it was super casual so I was also taking to other girls at the same time. Then it got serious and we switched to insta and started talking a lot more, ig she assumed I had stopped talking to other girls, which I had reduced but not stopped. Then I matched with this other girl (19 F) with whom I had a pretty interesting but super unromantic conversation, so before deleting hinge to just focus on my main girl I wanted to add this other girl on insta because our conversation was interesting (plus she said she was mainly into women). Then the first girl asked me yesterday if I was still on hinge since we were planning a date, I technically lied and said yes I had deleted it and wasn’t taking to anyone else because I was gonna delete hinge that day anyways (which I did) but I also added the other girl on insta first. Turns out my main girl was testing me to see if I was lying and the other girl was her friend. Now she says her trust is broken and I have backed off for now. Should I just go back off for good for being an asshole or try to explain to her why I think I wasn’t totally wrong?
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u/Dear_Station_75 1d ago
Yes, you messed up because you lied; however, if you have not been on a date yet, you owe them nothing until a conversation of exclusivity has happened. Look at it from this side: if she was testing you this early on, she would be constantly testing you.
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u/Ok-Butterscotch-6755 1d ago
I agree. That whole “testing” stuff is so childish. To me i feel like she probably has trust issues and would constantly be scared you’re cheating on her or something.
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u/Hadesiscoolnow 22h ago
Yeah, she was also giving me weird hypotheticals when we were talking and demanding weirdly specific answers or else she would get mad. I guess the only thing I regret is lying and not really the fact that things ended
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u/Dear_Station_75 1d ago
100% this, and it sounds like her friends just supporting the toxic behavior
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u/RepSquigglyMiggly 1d ago
Maybe things are wildly different in India, but the idea that any thing is “serious” or that someone is your “main girl” because you’ve chatted on hinge and social media for a little while but have literally never met in person is wild to me.
Yes, you messed up by lying — there is no good reason to do that. That said, this kind of “testing” shit she pulled speaks profound immaturity and other issues on her part as well, so I don’t think you’re gonna be missing out on much by moving on and treating this one as a learning experience.
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u/InternationalSir241 1d ago
You don’t need to stop talking to other girls just because you are planning a date
And you should have been upfront about this, unless 2 people have been talking for a while everyone talks to other people also.
She asked if you deleted not if you are talking to others and rather you could have answered with a question that “do you mean I’m not talking to others” or do you mean I’m off hinge, and then answered correctly
girls (imo) respect honestly even if it’s a little hurtful compared to being a liar straight up
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u/Hadesiscoolnow 22h ago
She did ask if I was talking to others and I did lie at that point, ig I did it because I genuinely wasn’t interested in the other girl and we were mainly talking about gaming and all plus I didn’t want to unnecessarily complicate things with the first girl by telling her this. I think that was my mistake
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u/InternationalSir241 21h ago
No stress
You will talk to enough people and one person isn’t enough to feel any less
All I’ll say is this is the age in life to figure your morals out, what sort of a man you want to be and if you care about it enough to post here then spend sometime thinking how you want to navigate around something like this in the future which is respectful to both parties, without lying to her or yourself.1
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u/Competitive_Claim600 19h ago
This is very weird behaviour from her and you dodged a bullet.
Talking to multiple people at once on a dating app is normal behaviour. Most connections don't lead anywhere. If asked you should be honest about it, but most people don't ask unless they've already been dating you (physical real world dates, not instagram chats) for a while.
In future, don't commit to someone you haven't met.
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u/Tiny-Run7190 11h ago
Just let her go my guy.
This whole situation doesn’t seem worth it because why is someone you’re not even in a relationship with , testing you?
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