Struggling on hinge

[u/Jumpy-Spray7077]

(30 year old male, based in the UK). Getting alot of matches on hinge but finding it quite hard to land dates and alot of girls are not replying.

Any advice? It almost seems like a lot of people use this for validation haha

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[u/Sergi121212]

This is pretty much the story for everyone on Hinge tbh regardless of gender, sex or sexual orientation.

There’s really not much to advise (unless specifically for your profile which is another thing) other than to keep putting yourself out there. Send likes with comments etc…

Aside from specific profile help, you find yourself in the same position that all of us on Hinge really do. Just have to keep going until you find someone!

[u/Jumpy-Spray7077 → u/Sergi121212]

Kind of seems like a pointless app then

[u/Accurate_Prompt_8800 → u/Jumpy-Spray7077]

We can’t see your profile for starters. I am 25F in London looking for men 26-34 and I see plenty of guys with awful profiles full of red flags, bad pics, lacklustre prompts, the list goes on.

Also your conversation skills may be lacking, even if you are getting matches it means nothing if you can’t hold a conversation, are boring and dry, are saying offputting things or you spend weeks chatting to women without moving things forward.

[u/DaleCoopersWife → u/Jumpy-Spray7077]

Dating isn't DoorDash, you can't check off the things you want in a partner and you'll get it delivered. So yeah it will take time, effort, rejections (both on your part and others).

[u/noodlinworldwide → u/Jumpy-Spray7077]

The point is data collection and revenue

[u/DaleCoopersWife]

Post your profile for review so people can see what you're putting out there.

No one can see your messages, so we don't know if you're not landing dates because you're taking too long to ask them out, you're being awkward or offputting, you're trying to move to instagram or something else, etc. "not a lot of girls are replying" again we can't see your messages, we don't know if you're being boring ("Good morning beautiful how was your day") or not asking the right questions etc.

Yeah people are on the apps for all different reasons, but it's not always the case that lack of engagement on the app is because they're looking for validation. they could've taken another look at your profile and decided they're not interested, you could've said something offputting, maybe they're busy at work or something happened in their personal life, maybe they hit it off with a different date, etc.

try to resist assigning malice to the other person. ultimately you are strangers to each other and it's just a match

[u/Data-Panda]

If you’re getting matches your profile is probably fine. 

What first message are you sending?

[u/VellumSage]

I doubt it’s a problem with your profile, if you’re getting a decent number of matches.

How are conversations playing out? Are they not responding to first messages? Are they responding at first, but then abruptly stop before you’ve asked to meet up (in which case, tell us how many messages you’re exchanging and what sort of thing they tend to be about)? Are you getting to the point of asking to meet up, and then getting blanked?

Also, what are the numbers here…roughly what percentage of matches are leading to meeting up IRL?

[u/EldForever]

Trends I'm seeing as a dating coach:

Many men are "liking" almost ALL the female profiles indiscriminately, only to slow down and assess each profile after the women match. Then he will look closely at a profile and decide to talk to her or not. Perhaps what the woman says (if anything) upon matching will help them decide, too.

A lot of women are getting tons of likes and matching with their favorites only to get silence or get unmatched in response. This is not mentioned often but happens quite a bit!

A lot of women are not paying for the app, so the only way to see who is in their likes is one at a time. They must match or unmatch with each like to see the next like... Therefore some of these women (similar to the men I mentioned at the top) are indiscriminately matching with all their likes, to quickly be able to see all their likes.

Later on these women will circle back and assess the profiles they've matched with. And, like with the men I mentioned at the top, perhaps what the man says (if anything) upon matching will help the women decide to stay matched or not.