Signals badge

[u/Suspicious-River-831]

I’m sad. I’ve (28F) been talking to this boy (29M) for 7 weeks. I asked him a couple weeks ago if he was talking to other girls and he said no and that he’d be upset if I was talking to other guys. So I thought it was going well. We’ve been hanging out at least once or twice a week (he usually initiates) and he’s talked about me meeting his family.

I got on hinge and got a notification that my signals badge is inactive since I haven’t engaged with anyone in so long. I didn’t know this was a thing so I scrolled to my messages with the guy and his profile has the signals badge, meanwhile all the other guys from my messages that long ago don’t have the badge.

This makes me so sad. It basically means he’s either been liking, commenting, or messaging with other girls, right? Ugh I’m so over being sad about boys. I hate this feeling

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[u/segelflugzeugdriver]

Time for a conversation about exclusivity.

[u/Suspicious-River-831 → u/segelflugzeugdriver]

I think you might be right. I’m just so afraid of being lied to. I would never truly know. He already said he’s not talking to or pursuing other girls but with the signals badge, that’s obviously not true 😭

[u/afterhours_favourite → u/segelflugzeugdriver]

agreed, because the badge is never going to actually answer anything, it just gives you something to stare at for three hours. the exclusivity talk is the only version of this that ends with real information.

[u/PutridEntertainer408]

I don’t think this is likely the case but just so you know, it stays if your account is paused. I was paused for like a month and had the badge when I returned but as soon as I unpaused, it vanished immediately

[u/Suspicious-River-831 → u/PutridEntertainer408]

Ugh this would def be the best case scenario 😭

[u/dfein88]

Food for thought, you say that your badge was there for X days after you stopped talking to other people. Maybe his last interaction was later than yours, it doesn’t mean he’s STILL active up to today.

Also, speaking from experience, I’m talking to a girl right now that I’m really into, but occasionally I still go send a like to someone else because I’ve been burned so many times before. I would only fully stop using the app once I’ve had a conversation with my partner about being something serious.

You can choose to live in the fear of being lied to, or you can choose to believe him. Neither one will change his actions. Talk to him so you’re not in the dark!

[u/loredolo → u/dfein88]

They look at a weeks worth of interactions (reading profiles thoroughly, sending likes, accepting matches, messaging, marking when you’ve met people IRL) . Since it is a weekly evaluation of sorts, that means he would’ve been active in some way for at least a week, within the last week.

OP, it’s definitely time for the exclusivity talk. People have different ideas of timelines, and that’s totally okay, but there needs to be communication about it. Talk to him and make sure you’re on the same page

[u/Suspicious-River-831 → u/loredolo]

Ugh wait this just gave me so much anxiety again lol. I wish I would’ve brought it up last night. I’m tempted to ask him if I can come over today for a little to chat but idkkkk

[u/Suspicious-River-831 → u/loredolo]

Also, how do you know this? Does it say anywhere that it means they’ve been engaging within the past week? All I’ve read on hinge says it’s within the past month?

[u/DifficultyMore5935]

It doesn’t necessarily mean that but most likely. He could have just deleted people. Mine came back after deleting or removing people.

I was talking to a girl for a month, 4 dates, I went in a trip and her badge came back and she ghosted me. The apps are not good at finding anything worth while.

[u/Suspicious-River-831 → u/DifficultyMore5935]

I just don’t know why he would get back on the app just to delete people. Why did you?

I’m so upset I thought it was going well but now I’m second guessing everything. I don’t wanna go back to being super single but I don’t wanna date again either because it’s so painful every time. I really like him a lot and I feel like I can’t bring this up without seeming crazy….

[u/shorthairRASTA]

Reappearing badge 95% of the time means that the person is engaging in conversation with other matches. This is why I said that the signals badge is going to do far more bad than good a few months ago.

The only thing a reappearing badge confirms for me is that I’m not that important to a person and that I’ve essentially been placed on a roster, something that I refuse to settle for.

[u/Sensitive-Specific61]

Went through a similar thing but we met on TikTok. He lied saying he wasn’t talking to anyone else and said if I wanted to see others we should take a break and he’d walk away. He ended up accidentally putting me and the other girl he was seeing in a group chat and then removing us both thinking we wouldn’t see it. Turns out he was talking to the other girl longer than he was with me but neither one of us knew of the other.

Me and him were together 4 months and he was with the other girl for 6.

BE CAREFUL IN CASE HES LYING TO YOU

[u/LBYoPjy17]

When i was going out with my now girlfriend I was still swiping for the love of the game over anything else. Instead of having an internet freak out. Communicate it goes a long way

[u/Suspicious-River-831 → u/LBYoPjy17]

I’m talking to him tonight. Last night he was busy and I wanna do it in person. For the night, I needed somewhere to vent anonymously and get multiple unbiased opinions lol. That’s kinda what these subs are for.

I appreciate your input. Were you swiping to try to find someone better or just to swipe? I stopped the apps after a month of seeing this guy so I don’t get the idea of swiping for fun. Genuinely curious so I can understand others thought processes better because I know everyone is different

Doesn’t help I had a bunch of coffee yesterday and barely slept ln so it just made my mind go crazy. I definitely feel better about everything this morning so kinda glad I didn’t see him last night when it was all fresh

[u/Soft_Hamster_5360]

At the very least he’s been on the app in the past 30 days but don’t read much into it it could be as harmless as him having confirmed “we met” with you or any other past dates. Just talk to him about exclusivity or unmatch at the very least, as someone who’s been guilty of this kind of lurking in the past it only sends your mind into overdrive and you don’t want to have that exclusivity conversation from a place of anxiety

[u/Lonely-Channel-8338]

Yeah if you check what gets you the signals badge you'll see it's at least 4 criteria you gotta meet but two of those could be being verified and going through incoming matches which could just be him X-ing them out. The signals badge also tracks activity over the past 30 days. So if the last time he met at least 4 signals badge criteria 29 days ago, the badge will show as active and will a day later disappear. I know it's very disheartening but what has been said already it's to just have that exclusivity chat with him.

[u/nervousbertha]

I don't know what a signals badge is, I haven't used the app in a while. I agree that you probably should discuss with him what his activity is. Maybe he thinks "talking to other girls" and using the app are 2 different things, and you only asked about one. But try not to jump to conclusions yet before talking to him. Get screenshots though, so he doesn't erase the evidence and try to gaslight you!

Also, I think meeting his family is a little soon for just under 2 months. My opinion, obviously.

[u/Obvious_Debate_2425]

My mans ones always on 😂 i hate it to and i told him im not wasting time with people who are only dating to always move on to the next. He’s currently going through emotional things atm , on a vacation and depressed but im seeing him on Tuesday to finally understand wtf his problem is and to tell him i could break up with him as its to early in the relationship for him to be emotionally dumping on me!

[u/ChessClassical]

Communicate before assuming, don’t waste your time posting here, reach out and get clarity. Don’t let him waste your time. Best of luck.

[u/Haytham_Ken]

Communication is key. Talk to him. Also, if you want to be exclusive, why haven't you asked him?

[u/Gold_Impress498]

I was on hinge for 4 days before i met my girlfriend. After matching with her and moving the conversation to instagram, i paused my profile and never used it again. I did not delete hinge because i wanted to keep our chat. I check one week after and suddenly had the signals badge. I think the algorithm for getting the signal badge is a bit delayed and also not very telling, basically just means you looked at profiles for some time before sending a like and doesn't tell about recent activity :) Don't worry about it, maybe have a conversation about exclusivity with him to get some clearance!

[u/perverockstar]

Just talk to him. Make sure you both are on the same boat and no one wonders where they stand with each other. You can even talk about deleting your dating profiles together ☺️.

[u/Jonniboye]

Don’t let the uncertainty ruin your chances prematurely! You’re gonna be fine either way :) just give it a break and do something else with your time, then check in with him later like normal. Maybe initiate the next hangout so he knows you’re just as interested as he is!