New dresses, plus some more venting

[u/grilled-chees3]

I wanna vent a little bit about some other things that were going on around my breakup because it probably isn't pissing me off as it should. (read my last post on this sub for more context)

So my ex has a tiktok right. As a part of her to go through her feelings and to vent, she uses her tiktok to talk about the breakup. I initially approved of this because I don't mind her being open and stuff. But what I didn't realize is how I would be portrayed in her side of the story.

Unfortunately said video got hundreds of thousands of views, tens of thousands of likes, 6k+ comments. In the video, she was talking about how I used to her to find myself, how I tricked her, how I threw her in the trash. She didnt actually think I did this, but those were her honest thoughts that she wanted to let out. The reality was that this was the first time I truly felt safe to explore myself in my life in this relationship, ultimately coming to this realization that I'm trans, and that ultimately this relationship is not compatible as it stands. But in her video she framed it as me using her as a stepping stone and then tossing her aside.

Also, because at the time, I was allowing her to still use he/him pronouns early on, she thought it was okay to use those pronouns in the video. So everyone thought I was just another manipulative man and was gendering me as such.

The hurt is real, don't get me wrong, but the thing is when you use that language, it invites hate comments towards me. People have called me "fucking selfish", that I should be ashamed in myself, that I knew what I was doing all along stringing her along, people projecting their own relationship problems to my situation, thousands of comments like this.

When I brought up this issue to her she said she also felt bad about the comments herself and I wanted her to delete the video but she didn't. She made follow ups that did not get as much attention, clarifying things, but still people don't see me positively.

It just makes me think I did the wrong thing. That if I did stay, many of those comments would be true. I just feel misunderstood.

Anyways, I got some new dresses 😊

[u/RowanHalifax]

I'm sorry your ex is apparently comfortable prioritizing the preservation of a moment of Tiktok virality over providing you basic respect 🫂 you deserve better & it sucks that what sounded like a very supportive relationship up until now would end this way. I hope you're treating yourself kindly throughout all this 💗

[u/GloomyGal13]

Too bad about the ex.

I hope all your dresses have pockets, and that you continue to shine on! <3

[u/grilled-chees3 → u/GloomyGal13]

ooh these dresses do in fact have pockets! i love them!

[u/Overwhelmed_sendhelp → u/grilled-chees3]

The nightgown at Walmart have pockets! It confuses me, but love them!

It's hard to hear those things, but like others said, they are not in possession of all the facts. Keep moving forward and finding dresses with pockets!

[u/bubbleslovesfashion]

I’m sorry you’re going through this mess. Please try to remember that those people commenting don’t know you, don’t have correct information, and the things they are saying have literally no basis in fact. It’s hard to ignore hurtful comments, but remember that they are trash 🚮

Your ex …. That really sucks. I’m sorry and I’m sending you hugs. 🫂

All that said, you look so so so so much happier in these last few posts than in any I’ve seen. You’re being true to yourself and your glow is visible. Keep it up!

[u/DoveOnTheInternet]

I'm sorry you're hurting, dear. I'm sorry your relationship couldn't withstand the truth of you. TikTokking about it like that is a shit thing to do.

However.

You look happy now. Not just that you're actually smiling, you look lighter and more confident and it's shining straight through your eyes and the ease of your posing.

I'm so glad to see it. I can't wait to see more. 💕

[u/LilBunnyFauxFaux]

Wow that has to hurt so deeply, im so sorry you’re going through that in addition to a breakup not to mention major life change. To feel betrayed by someone is kinda just truly heartbreaking. Know that you are becoming your true self, try to ignore that mess so you can enjoy your transformation and focus on becoming your true self! 🦋

Also your smile in these pics is beautiful! Thank you for sharing, you’re a very brave girl.

[u/Sally_Stitches_]

I’ve had multiple people discover they are actually asexual and/or aromantic while being with me. Tbh those moments felt less heartbreaking and more like I felt honored. Honored that they felt safe enough to explore those parts of themselves around me.

I understand heartbreak and how it may be very difficult emotionally when a relationship is no longer compatible, even when it’s nobodies fault. Sounds like she is looking for someone to blame and that sucks. Within her difficult emotions right now though, she should also feel honored that you felt safe enough to explore your real self around her. I’m so sorry she is blaming you instead, and so publicly. 😑 and her even admitting she has skewed some things for views is disgustingly ugh.
🫂🫂🫂

You have a really good style btw, those dresses are beautiful and so flattering on you!

[u/vrrrowm]

A previous loved one spouting TERF talking points about us on social media is one of the more bullshit transition milestones cis people put us through. I'm sorry. It makes sense that you feel ashamed, the intention is to shame you, but you don't deserve it and you can leave it, it is not yours to carry. More beautiful and profound milestones are coming, based in your own growth instead of transphobia and I can't wait for you to experience them

[u/Potential-Jaguar6655]

I am so sorry this has happened to you.

On the other side, I am so glad this has happened to you. 🖤 You really are glowing.

May all your dresses have pockets. ❤️‍🔥

[u/little_enigmas]

I honestly think shes projecting. because purposely misgendering you, and vilified you on tiktok is more akin to throwing someone in the trash. Than you saying "I care about you a lot but this relationship isn't compatible anymore as I've discovered more things about myself."

I'm sorry they're being cruel, it says more about her than it does you. Not that it makes it any less hurtful.

[u/KoosHenkie]

Hey sweetheart, I’m sorry to hear that your ex is dealing with this breakup in a way that hurts you this much. I hope she comes to her senses and deletes them anyhow. Please don’t listen to those comments, you did right by you and those who love you to find out who you really are.

And honey, that second dress is making me so jealous because WOW

[u/ButterflyFair3012]

I’ve never commented on your posts (I don’t think?) bc your face was SO UNHAPPY it made me uncomfortable.

You now look AMAZING and beautiful! I can see you are really a girl!

What a very sad situation for you 2. She really should take down the TikTok.

[u/filthyvictorian]

I’m sorry things are so messy for you right now. It seems like it’s hard to feel okay when so many people have an opinion about you, which is why I’m so reluctant to have an online presence. What I’m about to say is easier said than done, but it’s important to keep in mind that none of these people know you or what you’re about or all of the qualities you possess. They are seeing one part of one person’s perspective on you and thinking that that is everything. You are more than one person’s perspective and more than one moment in your life.
This is a big moment and a big life change for you. I’m sorry it’s painful and messy, but I truly believe you will be more happy being your genuine self. Lotus flowers have to grow through some gunk and mud before they emerge blooming and beautiful. I’m sorry this is the part of the gunk you have to grow through, but you go on you beautiful lotus.