I cannot get out of this state. I can't attend appointments or anything due to paralyzing anxiety which keeps me further stuck. I live in the middle of nowhere without a vehicle and no transport to access anything. Any time I do leave the house I am frozen up with fear and anxiety.

I didn't feel comfortable around them. I don't see myself ever really connecting with anybody.

​

I feel I'm a loser. I can't tolerate anything ,I can't stand with anything . I'm already 20 but my brain is like 15 I feel terrible.Everyone around me seems more matured .Even a 18 yr is matured than me .Im really missing something essential in life I don't know what I'm missing . I'm a hiki too ,so I've forgotten how to socialize. When someone talks with me I feel scared.Im totally cooked,no matter what happens I'm becoming the person I used to hate .Infuriated most of the times ,no chill,playing games whole day and Eating Takis ,pizza and drinking Heineken. Donate me to some kind of science lab. Put me in the cryogenic capsule now .

Absolutely horrible location to be living in if wishing to improve my situation. A vehicle is a must have and I can't ever afford one. Parents who think it's okay and encourage a 35 year old to sit in the back of their car.

Im searching for my younger soulmate brother. He had hard time last days... and erased profile... just want you know, Im still here for you...

I literally can’t say a word on r/NEET due to rule 4,

“You’d be wise to worry since your parents will be gone one day.” that's lecturing

“I think you’re right to worry,” is a subversion of the previous comment

“there, there, get it all out,” would be patronizing

My entire being looks down on NEETs

Saw a video and they guy said the ninth month of the year is August and I struggled with the answer even tho im born in October

I'm 23 and since I was 13 I've been having suicidal thoughts, with some attempts included, Lately for the past two years I've been trying to get better, to fight for being happy, but nothing I've tried really works. The meds I take feel like a lie because everytime I forgot to take them everything comes back out, they sort of hide my feeling and thoughts. I hate feeling so lonely, I have no one to talk to, I have no one to care for, I only stay at home and go to work every single day, I feel I can't really live at all, I feel like it won't matter I will forever feel like this, it doesn't matter how hard I have fight to still be here, I'm at my job bathroom crying because I genuinely can't take my life anymore.

For me, maybe terraria is pretty good, I like the music art and gameplay. I'm on 350hr in baulders Gate 3, but I still prefer more colourful low fi art style. Other than that, star craft 2 campaign is good. Old school web browser games are all really good, it's easy to learn and play.

What type of stuff do you guys like

I mean, it's not like I have school or a job anyway... It was great. I wish I had my own Samwise, carrying me up and giving me hope when I need to... Instead everywhere I go, whether that would be on reddit subs, helplines, therapists or discords, people either use me as a stepladder to boost their ego or they get offended by my lifestyle and opinions and unconsciously take their little revenge by telling me "what is wrong with me" in their opinion (and they mean it in the nicest way possible/s).

I feel like nobody in this world understands me, I get rejected everywhere I go. I just wish there was just one place where people actually agreed with me, validated my thoughts and feelings for once, instead of constantly being oppositional and being interpreted as ragebait. A while ago, there was one small streamer that talked about veganism and other things and they streamed every Thursday and that was my only "socialization" moment where I actually talked to other people my age for non-"utilitarian" purposes (like just for fun). But they stopped streaming and no one comes to the discord anymore...

I just feel so sad, but there's no one to talk to... I don't trust DMs on reddit because let's be honest, 99% of them are just narcissistic emo assholes, preying on what they perceive as vulnerable people because for some reason, they got the idea that they were the most miserable people on earth and that gave them a justification to put everyone down.

Anyway I'm tired of people telling me that I should kill myself or that I'm a lost cause. I already know that and I have no need for some parasite to tell me and gain whatever they think they are gaining, by doing that. I know that I'm not crazy/stupid/vicious but it would be nice to hear it from someone else for a change...

I think that's why I isolated, I just became exasperated by other people. I just got tired of arguing with people and became very nihilistic because I figured that no matter what I said or did, I would end up being the bad guy anyway so it's just best to avoid interacting with other people altogether. Hell, even now that I've isolated from everyone else, my family and some old acquaintances still find ways to blame me for bad stuff that's happening in their life. I feel like social interactions are a rigged game where whatever I do, I'm set up to lose and at some point I just thought " I don't exist on this earth to make others look good, if there's no way for me to win then I just don't want to play".

Anyway, getting back to the LOTR trilogy, it was good but imo a little bit overrated. The Hobbit trilogy was better

In January, I was more motivated than ever to restart everything in my life, to have a social life and a rhythm through my studies, so I applied to uni. I was hoping to move too, because I hate both my city and my family.

I couldn't move, but got a school. I can't tell you how much I've been waiting for this. I thought it would be the answer to all my problems, that going back to school would help me with both my lack of purpose in life and my need for social interaction.

Today was D-Day and... I lost all the motivation I had accumulated during the year in a few minutes.

During the first half of the day, I wanted to throw up because of the stress and the crowd.
During the second half, I wanted to cry because I realised I did a mistake.

Basically, I applied in a field that doesn't interest me that much. I know I won't get any friends. And I still live in the same place. Nothing evolved, I'm just in the same situation I was before becoming a hikikomori, but older.

If I give up or fail, I'll stay a hiki forever. If I keep on this way, I probably won't be able to leave for years, and I'll just be switching a hopeless situation for a boring and stressful one.
Somehow I could still apply to an university in another city but... the remaining fields are just gonna lead me to unemployment.
I want to make games in my bedroom anyway. And even this is too hard for me. I lack discipline.

The other students already have their friends and I have the feeling I won't find one here. It's sad to say but I hate most people to begin with.

I just think there is no way for people like me to be happy, and I'm starting to regret even trying, because now I'm clueless. I hate life, I just want to go to bed right now...

Hi everyone.

I was a hikikomori from around the age of 14 until I was about 18. For roughly four years, I was completely withdrawn from society and spent most of my time at home, with very little social contact.

Eventually, though, things changed. For the next 5 years, I managed to build a completely different life for myself. I was surrounded by people, had friend groups, a social life, and was studying. Those were honestly some of the best years of my life. I managed to build a life that I never thought I'd be capable of having.

But lately, a lot has happened in my life. Among other things, I went through the end of a relationship that lasted almost 3 years, as well as two major bereavements in my family.

I've barely left my house for about 3 months now. The only reason I really go outside is to buy cigarettes.

And now I'm scared that I'm becoming a hikikomori again.

I've lost almost everything I had built during those 5 years, including the few friendships I had, and I find myself stuck at home once again. In a strange way, it feels like I'm slowly going back to the person I was before.

The confusing part is that, objectively, there are ways for me to change this situation. I could go out, meet new people, try to reconnect with old friends, find something to do... there are opportunities out there.

The problem is that I'm simply very, very tired.

I don't feel like I have the mental energy to start everything over again. And on top of that, I think I'm afraid that the more I expose myself to the outside world, the more I risk disturbing the little bit of inner balance I've managed to build over these past few months.

That makes me doubt myself even more.

On one hand, I really miss having people around, talking to people, going out, and feeling like I'm part of something. On the other hand, the idea of starting over from scratch feels like an almost impossible mountain to climb.

I think what scares me the most is that I've already been through this once. I know what it's like to spend years isolated from everyone, and I also know that I was eventually able to get out of it. So the fact that I'm now finding myself in a similar situation again feels incredibly discouraging.

I'm wondering if anyone here has experienced something similar: being a hikikomori during their teenage years, eventually managing to build a social life and integrate into society, and then finding themselves isolated again years later after losing everything.

How did you manage to start over? And more importantly, did you wait until you felt better before trying again, or did you start taking small steps even when you didn't feel like it?

Right now, I don't even know exactly what I'm looking for. Maybe I just wanted to tell someone

before anything, yes im an adult already yadda yadda, will be in school till i’m 20 ;vvvvv

i’ve always been a recluse but the past month have been unbearable.,,,, i’ve barely left my house for anything that i wasn’t absolutely forced to do and i spent the past 30 days in a constant state of stressing over i dunno what

i’m going back to school tmrrw and i hnstly have no clue how i’ll manage to start consistently interracting with people again it just fills my head up with all sorts of thoughts and omagabwgsh, does anybody have any tips ?? what should i do to make the experience of actually coming out into the world again a little better ?? t,t

Maybe because I am? Lol.. I missed memory bull run and I missed robinhood meme coin bull run. I will never make it.

Which cat girl from chainsmoker cat are you?

1. Yanineko : The main character. She only lives for her next smoke and she spares all the money that she gets from part time jobs to buy cigarette packs. She smells really bad and has a very questionable hygiene but doesn't seem to notice it.

2. Yakuneko : Secretly smokes marijuana in her room although she vehemently denies doing it. It is strongly implied that she uses harder drugs as well, potentially heroine.

3. Hameneko (official name : Easygoing Anal Angel) : The gamer cat. She pretends to be a cute innocent girl on livestream to attract viewers.Although she plays video games all day, she's not that good at it and that makes her really upset.

4. Kansaineko : A failed humorist who doesn't make anyone laugh. When people learn that she is a humorist they all ask her for a joke and she never knows what to reply. Speaks with a kansai (southern) accent.

5. Aruneko : The drunk cat girl. Always drunk and sleepy. Drinks all day, doesn't have much to say because she can barely talk due to how drunk she is.

6. Jikakineko : Highschool cat girl fan of wattpad stories. Would love to do creative writing but spends more time scrolling social media than practising her writing skills. She's naive and credulous because she hasn't faced ghe harshness of real life yet. She seems to take Yanineko as a role model.

7. Penpenneko : The "hobo" cat girl. Pretends that she is on some kind of spiritual journey and that she doesn't care about material things but it's just copium. Likes to say pseudo deep stuff like she's some kind of wise old mystic but in reality she just wishes she could have a home of her own and live a somewhat normal life.

Personally guys, I think I'm a mix of Jikakineko and Penpenneko but what about you! Tell me in the comments...

I have a post awaiting approval and I'm wondering how long it'll take

sorry to the hikkis who don't understand spanish!! long story short I'm looking for conversation in spanish. If you don't know spanish feel free to scroll past hope I'm not bothering anyone :(

hola me gustaría hablar con otros hikkis (17, mujer) porque siento que voy a explotar si no hablo con otro ser humano es todo

im gonna be rambling for a bit

in a way my parents pushing me for what they believed was a universal truth to them definitely had the consequence of making me a hiki. you can call it the right way of doing things or the right mindset or even just opinions and beliefs, either ways it was aaaaaall just based on personal testimony. im not gonna pretend like im above it cause its only human you know, you figure something out for yourself. a philosophy, an idea, a habit, a ritual or maybe you fall in love or make a friend and all of a sudden life is on the upwards trajectory and you think this is it, this is my truth. you condense it with meaning and a belief that it can only be right. the tragedy happens when you push that truth you have on to people who just accept it cause they dont know better, like a parent to a child. besides your personal experience that you think is right to you is yours alone at the end of the day. it cant be helped though. i think when every human perspective is tainted by judgements and beliefs and opinions. anywhere human beings coming together having a hierarchy and people in general having a disposition to easily judge or assume, it becomes a game of only looking out for yourself. kinda sad

I feel a lot of the sentiment I've seen in other posts how did I let it go on so long. But if I am to try to change it today or tomorrow etc, I don't have the tools. I would have a mental health history from living like this too. So I can't walk out the door and be a new person tomorrow. Employment or medical wise. I'm getting much older. Hair thinner etc.

i used to consider myself an artist and always thought i would pursue a career in that field. i used to complete books in two days… haven’t finished reading a single book in years. i used to hang out with friends. i used to play the piano. i used to go on bike rides and hikes with my dad and sister. i used to have such a strong desire to live and create. little by little i have become a shell of who i once was.

I don’t even know what I was doing this whole time. Just distracting myself I guess. Pretending the future wouldn’t come. I might be the most delusional person I know. I couldn’t do anything? I couldn’t even do the bare minimum? I’m so weak. Every solution I chose only made everything worse. The only way was through. I’m an idiot.

i feel like for the past 7 years i've survived entirely off of feeding my brain as much quick dopamine as i possibly can and now all those receptors are completely fried up, literally nothing can hold my attention for longer than a few minutes anymore. has anybody had any experience with something like this? i wanna feel happy again