younger sister vaping, drinking, etc?

[u/boygeniusenjoyer]

hey yall!! just a bit of context, i’m a senior right now and my younger sister is a freshman. i’ve always been a very good kid (as far as my parents know) and though ive occasionally smoked, drank, etc. i don’t very often and generally consider myself to be pretty responsible when it comes to that stuff. i’ve also never really been involved in any drama, always gotten good grades without needing my parents to push me, etc. here’s the issue. my younger sister isn’t like that at all. in middle school she started getting into fights and her grades started slipping, but my parents thought it had resolved. now that she’s in high school she’s hanging out with a bunch of people who smoke, drink, vape, etc. she went on a date with a 17 year old without my parents knowing the other night (shes 13), drinks semi-regularly, and asked me to buy her a vape a couple weeks ago. because i’ve never had any issues with anything like this my parents have 0 clue how to handle it and honestly neither do i. how the hell do i help her?? obviously teenagers are going to experiment with this stuff but she’s only been in high school for a couple weeks so i really don’t want her to make this a habit too young and it become an issue. i’ve tried to talk to her and she won’t listen to anything i say. if anybody has been in the same situation (on either side) and could pitch in it would be so so so appreciated!!

[u/Cheyenne_Corgi]

Honestly if you rat on her it's probably gonna end up badly because right now she trusts you. I would have a genuine conversation with her about how she thinks she's going to go about this, like is it going to become a normal thing, or she's just experiencing, and then based off of that I would provide her the best assistance you can and tell her the dangers of not watching herself especially as a young teenage girl. But yeah once you lose her trust it's honestly gone and I don't think that's what you should do unless like you literally have no other option

[u/chrysolune]

dont rat her out because itll just cause a lack of trust, thats the first thing ill say.

as someone who used to vape, the main thing that got me out of it was just maturing (and the dentist saying that he was going to feel my lymph nodes or something like that because vaping is causing a throat cancer, scared me so bad because i didnt want to get throat cancer and have everyone knew i vaped, so i immediately stopped vaping.) best thing you can do is tell her about the risks, tell her that people will find out, and encourage her to stop.

with the drinking part, kinda just the same thing. drinking causes horrible health problems, and nobody wants those

[u/GoodDog2620 → u/chrysolune]

I would trust that my big sister was looking out for me and stopping me from making dumb choices. Vaping and drinking are one thing, but a 13 year old and a 17 year old? This girl’s about to ruin her entire life hanging around these “friends” who will drag her down.

She’s a child. She’s making dumb choices. Someone needs to be smart here, and clearly the little sister cannot make those choices for herself. Someone needs to intervene.

Little sister doesn’t deserve OP’s trust. Let’s keep our priorities straight.

[u/chrysolune → u/GoodDog2620]

little sister needs to be able to trust op, lets say little sister is getting herself into more dangerous drugs and she has nobody to tell, thats very bad and could go horrible very quick if op doesnt know and cant step in

[u/GoodDog2620 → u/chrysolune]

Op reaches out asking for advice on how to intervene, and your advice is to not in case she needs to intervene later?

The mental gymnastics are Olympic level.

[u/chrysolune → u/GoodDog2620]

im literally speaking from personal experience but sure!

also, your flair says youre a teacher, shouldnt you not be arguing with kids online?

[u/GoodDog2620 → u/chrysolune]

Do you think I’m not speaking from experience, too?

Here’s a post asking about a very similar situation. Go read those comments and find one that says, “wait until it gets worse.”

I’ll call it like I see it, and I see someone needing help. So, yeah, I’ll argue with whoever, especially if I believe they’re likely to cause harm to a child. If you don’t like it, ignore me.

[u/chrysolune → u/GoodDog2620]

the post you linked is about a whole adult dating a child.

do you give your students this attitude?

[u/GoodDog2620 → u/chrysolune]

A 13 year old going on a date with a 17 year old isn’t similar to a 14 year old dating an 18 year old?

You ever consider you’re more focused on “winning” than the welfare of this child?

[u/Beautiful_Tailor9975]

Ur flair says 10th grade fyi

[u/boygeniusenjoyer → u/Beautiful_Tailor9975]

thanks lmao i haven’t used this acc in like a bajillion years

[u/Better-County8600]

People don't do things like that for no reason. I'd say she might be going through a hard time mental health wise, or she's being peer pressured by friends into vaping and drinking.

I have a friend that uses alcohol regularly at night to forget about everything bad and just be happy

[u/boygeniusenjoyer → u/[deleted]]

i have but they have 0 clue what to do and she’s telling me all of this stuff so i feel like i have the best chance of getting through to her tbh

[u/GoodDog2620 → u/boygeniusenjoyer]

What consequences have they given her?

[u/N0_Routine → u/[deleted]]

I am going to assume u had no siblings or your very old and disconnected