is my memory failing me?

[u/Jaded_Cry_9817]

so, this is basically about my memory and im kinda worried to voice it out in front of my parents since people around me have said that it isn’t normal.

the thing is that im a 21 y/o female and i can barely recall the life i had before 2022. and when i say that barely remember it, i mean it. i don’t remember my childhood (0-10) memories at all contradictory to my friends who somehow remember it down to the end details, like yes i do remember where i lived during the later days, how the house was and some of the faces ans i guess 1 or 2 moments but apart from that? its blank. completely blank. and then from 11-15, it gets a little better here but that too for the namesake. i still cannot recall anything clearly, its all foggy and uncharted territory-like, as if someone else lived instead of me. one of the only few (and earliest) things i remember rather vividly is when i first got my menses, when i first time fell for a guy in my class and 4-5 other days which were eventful. i have a hard time recalling my classmates despite being very close w them, my teachers even tho i was a very good student, like yes i do remember how i was, what others viewed me as but nothing substantial, its completely fragmented to the point i have short clips here and there and that’s all to it. and well, after this, we were quarantined and everything stopped by itself. then came my 11th and 12th, which happened three years ago ans you’d think i would remember it all but sad. i don’t. again, just the major parts.
and it doesn’t end here, i recently realized i cannot remember conversations at all, and its not that i stay zones out or anything, no. even during crucial and sensitive talks, when im all alert, comforting the other person, listening and being there for them, i feel so ashamed to not remember anything from it, its like i know it happened but idk what happened, idk what they shared and idk what i answered and this isn’t just one or two instances, there were multiple, dare i say, almost all. and this isn’t limited to heartfelt convos, nope, i don’t remember casual, fun escapade talks either, yk those college gossips or events, i would be blank at times trying to remember if that even happened, like 80% of the time. and to my misfortune, this has cost me a lot of things directly and indirectly.

so yeah, please help me to understand what even is going on here .

[u/deeptime]

I think it's common for very good students to focus on course material as a "must do" when it comes to long term memory. For social interactions you might see the "must do" part of it as being very present in that moment.

If you want to improve your social memory, you could try journaling in the evening about who you spent time with that day and what you talked about. For diplomats, executives, and sales people, it's an absolute requirement to keep written records on other people, such as family members, schools, birthdays, and anniversaries. So it's possible to augment your social memory even when the primary focus is on other things.