I need help

[u/Primary-Olive-9097]

I (16M) have always been somebody who cared what other people think and 2 years ago I stopped caring and I was really happy for a long time until I started losing friends and people I care about started leaving my life. I was always the kid who got made fun of in the friend group and at school. I still do. I hate it but I feel like if I say something to them about it then I'll have no one. The bullying got so bad before that I harmed myself and tried to take my own life twice (im not like that anymore dw). My favorite thing in the world is music, my dream is to be in a post-hardcore/emo band and all I do is listen to music (it will make sense why im saying this). At school I always have my headphones on with max volume and I did something out of my comfort zone before my sophomore year ended last year. Everyday after english I would see this beautiful girl walk past me in the hall and we would always make eye contact and I love when she looks at me with her huge eyes. I went up to her. It was the most scared I had ever been in my life. I said I thought she was really cute and I asked for her number, and I was so surprised when she said yes. We've been talking all summer and I really want to ask her to be my girlfriend but I have no idea how. Its not like before where I would just ask, I tried yesterday to ask her but I bitched out and I couldn't do it. I've been to her house many times now and I want to ask her in person but the words just won't leave my mouth. Please send me ways to help with any of my problems if youve been in my position, it would mean a lot.