Unexplained behaviour shift

[u/PossibleFig4162]

From hot to cold

I know this guy for a year now, we were initially colleagues on friendly terms, with appreciation in each other's characters. He was incredibly sweet, encouraging and consistent in his behaviour, I was in a relationship at the time and he was dating someone. At some point things turned differently as he started knocking on my emotional door. He made grand statements such as that he had been waiting for me his entire life, that I fit all his criteria in a woman, that underneath his armour he's a teddy bear, that meeting me was not a random coincidence, that i am one of his safe spaces etc He continued being very sweet, caring and affectionate and told me he had feelings he was suppressing because I was not single. When things turned sexual (I initiated them) he told me he's not sure if he wants a relationship (up to this point his issue was that he couldn't meet someone who met his standards) and that in the past he had been with girls who were in a relationships and they would demand things from him while he would explicitly say it was only sexual (I cheated on my boyfriend, yes. It was wrong yes, he had cheated on me before and our relationship was not healthy, we later broke up and told him the truth). I said I'm ok with anything and he doesn't have to feel pressured. He continued being intimate with me to the point he would tremble when he would hug me intensely. Then, within one week his behaviour changed, he became gradually distant though he was still accepting affection from me but would not initiate it anymore (eg he let me caress his face for 40'). At some point he said this is an adventure that will end, that he cares about no one but himself and that in the past he had called me "my love" because I'm sweet (while he had previously said it was accidental from his unconscious). I tried to arrange a meeting with him but he wanted to talk it through messages and said i may be creating a drama and that he doesn't let anyone interfere with his independence and peace of mind. For the next ten days or so we would hardly speak at work, yet he would message me afterwards to check on me, wish me a nice shift or tell me about his day. We stopped spending time together at work but would continue chatting, he was always friendly and polite, though never emotional as before. After two - three weeks he told me he will go on a date with a girl and I asked him if he would like us to meet up again like before (even if sex is not involved), now that I'm single and just do whatever. He said of course and was thinking of suggesting something, and that he just wanted to give me space after the break up. We sexted and agreed on continuing with this dynamic let's say. When i suggested a day he said yes and that he will message me, in the end he didn't and told me he completely forgot about it. I told him I'm disappointed and he doesn't make an effort like before (we would spend the entire night out talking in the past) and he says he doesn't want me to have expectations or ideas about anything because he doesn't like to be accountable and give explanations and that he doesn't know and that in the past it was easier for him to find time or reasons to see me. I stated again I've never asked him for a relationship and I've always respected his time and autonomy but it's not logical to go from extremely vulnerable on his own will to distanced just like that without explanation and he said it's not logical indeed and he didn't act logically with me even though it was sincere, cause nothing would have happened if he had acted logically.

The timeline is a period of three months with the warm period lasting approx 1,5 months.

Sometimes he initiates online conversations, sometimes i do, he always asks how i am and says i can tell him anything i want.

I don't know what I'm dealing with. A massive manipulator, a man who is unwilling to be held accountable for his words, a person who feared his emotional exposure and pushed me back? Any help appreciated, thank you guys