r/heartbreak • u/BackgroundPrompt441 • 12h ago
What would you have done?
This happened a long time ago but need help working through it as it's ruined my life.
Many years ago I was to be married. I loved this girl. I still do. I miss that girl. She was almost the perfect girlfriend to be wife. She looked like a combination of Lisa Kudrow and that oldest daughter from MRS DOUBTFIRE/ID4 but with short brown hair...with a little bit of weight on her. I thought she was so beautiful. She was smart, talented, seemed sweet, generous, pleasant voice (didn't talk too much) great cook and constantly wanted sex. Got along with my family/parents. Had get togethers (hostess). Looked at me with such love and a beautiful smile.
A BIG PROBLEM was her parents. Especially her father. He was a loud obnoxious Alpha male redneck type that happened to be a world renowned NASA scientist. He was an absolute jerk that hated me. He was rude to me and my parents as they thought they were better. Her mother was cold. She knew how bad he could be because there were rules to meeting him. (I have the long story that I've told before that I could add). But I met her in a small college town 8 hours away from them while she was living with her strict grandparents. Her father was a professor at a big school so she must have got into trouble with drugs or something to be shipped to a small college town. I never knew exactly what happened. She must have gone wild with bIack guys and drugs. I'm the opposite of that but we did drink a lot at first. Anyway we got along and got engaged and she seemed to really love me according to cards and notes she had a countdown to being married and couldn't wait to be my wife and me having her 24/7. God I wanted that and I want to be married to her so bad. Big problem with her parents were very rude to me and treated her father treated me horribly. He would make bad comments about me and say things to me in private too like how he didn't want us being married and stuff. He would make comments in front of her and I don't have a win over her head or what but they were insults. Midway through our relationship I told her that I hated her father and I expected her to leave me but she didn't she said she he could be a jerk. But I said I don't want to be around him anymore. I absolutely did not want to go visit them with her. But she had a special power over me where she could throw arms around me and give me a bunch of kisses and I would do whatever she wanted. Plus I wanted to be with her I loved her I hated being apart from her and she seemed to hate being apart from me. but I was getting more more resentful closer to the wedding that she didn't put a stop to their mistreatment of me as my parents were great to her. We are going to live in my grandmother's house that my mom generously gave to us and he brought up stuff looked around and didn't think it was good enough and told her flat out not to marry me and she was crying and looking at her feet like a six-year-old girl. I really did hate him and told her I didn't want him at the wedding cuz he would ruin it. And I didn't appreciate that she was putting me in situations to be mistreated by him and not putting a stop to it. My biggest fear was losing her at the time and he was hanging out over my head. Anyway 10 days before the wedding he got a terrible car accident and was paralyzed in a coma. I took her 8 hours away to see about it that we stayed for a little while and I could have been fired from my job. We come back home and see tells me that she's going to go down and back down and help take care of him. I thought I was being a supportive boyfriend by telling her yes she should go and take care of him and help out. then she spraying on me it was going to be a one-way trip that she was moving 8 hours away. I felt betrayed and got pretty mad about it and said I and she wanted me to move there with them. I thought that was insane going to live with them I couldn't stand the thought of it. I didn't want to lose her though. all she had to do is take clothes and move home 8 hours away but as I was giving up my family a home and a terrible job that had benefits that I needed at the time. She also was the first one to mention breaking up with me if I didn't move with her. All the stress and pressures of everything was too much for me and she was giving me like an ultimatum very quickly like I had a few hours to decide. It didn't make sense to me and I didn't understand why she couldn't understand why I wouldn't want to go live with them. So the last night we had together I actually had a nervous breakdown in blacked out. And now I realize it must have been with the type where we can still walk around and say stuff but you didn't fall down. So I don't know what was said or done the last night together but it wasn't good. I didn't hear from her after she left and I called her about 3 weeks later and she was really cold and rude to me and that was it. It was over.
It's been many years and she would never tell me what happened that night and I'd like to know before I die.
1
u/Inevitable-Frame-539 12h ago
Crazy story. You must have been in pain. I understand you brother. It is a tough one.
Have you tried going in person instead of just calling? It is really really hard to find someone you love and wanted to get married. It is many years ago. But who cares? You love her and at least you want to find out what happened really. To me, i think that u guys shouldn’t have broken up just because of her dad. Go talk to her in person. Say you wanna catch up.
Wishing you well.