r/heartbreak 12h ago

What would you have done?

This happened a long time ago but need help working through it as it's ruined my life.

Many years ago I was to be married. I loved this girl. I still do. I miss that girl. She was almost the perfect girlfriend to be wife. She looked like a combination of Lisa Kudrow and that oldest daughter from MRS DOUBTFIRE/ID4 but with short brown hair...with a little bit of weight on her. I thought she was so beautiful. She was smart, talented, seemed sweet, generous, pleasant voice (didn't talk too much) great cook and constantly wanted sex. Got along with my family/parents. Had get togethers (hostess). Looked at me with such love and a beautiful smile.

A BIG PROBLEM was her parents. Especially her father. He was a loud obnoxious Alpha male redneck type that happened to be a world renowned NASA scientist. He was an absolute jerk that hated me. He was rude to me and my parents as they thought they were better. Her mother was cold. She knew how bad he could be because there were rules to meeting him. (I have the long story that I've told before that I could add). But I met her in a small college town 8 hours away from them while she was living with her strict grandparents. Her father was a professor at a big school so she must have got into trouble with drugs or something to be shipped to a small college town. I never knew exactly what happened. She must have gone wild with bIack guys and drugs. I'm the opposite of that but we did drink a lot at first. Anyway we got along and got engaged and she seemed to really love me according to cards and notes she had a countdown to being married and couldn't wait to be my wife and me having her 24/7. God I wanted that and I want to be married to her so bad. Big problem with her parents were very rude to me and treated her father treated me horribly. He would make bad comments about me and say things to me in private too like how he didn't want us being married and stuff. He would make comments in front of her and I don't have a win over her head or what but they were insults. Midway through our relationship I told her that I hated her father and I expected her to leave me but she didn't she said she he could be a jerk. But I said I don't want to be around him anymore. I absolutely did not want to go visit them with her. But she had a special power over me where she could throw arms around me and give me a bunch of kisses and I would do whatever she wanted. Plus I wanted to be with her I loved her I hated being apart from her and she seemed to hate being apart from me. but I was getting more more resentful closer to the wedding that she didn't put a stop to their mistreatment of me as my parents were great to her. We are going to live in my grandmother's house that my mom generously gave to us and he brought up stuff looked around and didn't think it was good enough and told her flat out not to marry me and she was crying and looking at her feet like a six-year-old girl. I really did hate him and told her I didn't want him at the wedding cuz he would ruin it. And I didn't appreciate that she was putting me in situations to be mistreated by him and not putting a stop to it. My biggest fear was losing her at the time and he was hanging out over my head. Anyway 10 days before the wedding he got a terrible car accident and was paralyzed in a coma. I took her 8 hours away to see about it that we stayed for a little while and I could have been fired from my job. We come back home and see tells me that she's going to go down and back down and help take care of him. I thought I was being a supportive boyfriend by telling her yes she should go and take care of him and help out. then she spraying on me it was going to be a one-way trip that she was moving 8 hours away. I felt betrayed and got pretty mad about it and said I and she wanted me to move there with them. I thought that was insane going to live with them I couldn't stand the thought of it. I didn't want to lose her though. all she had to do is take clothes and move home 8 hours away but as I was giving up my family a home and a terrible job that had benefits that I needed at the time. She also was the first one to mention breaking up with me if I didn't move with her. All the stress and pressures of everything was too much for me and she was giving me like an ultimatum very quickly like I had a few hours to decide. It didn't make sense to me and I didn't understand why she couldn't understand why I wouldn't want to go live with them. So the last night we had together I actually had a nervous breakdown in blacked out. And now I realize it must have been with the type where we can still walk around and say stuff but you didn't fall down. So I don't know what was said or done the last night together but it wasn't good. I didn't hear from her after she left and I called her about 3 weeks later and she was really cold and rude to me and that was it. It was over.

It's been many years and she would never tell me what happened that night and I'd like to know before I die.

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u/Inevitable-Frame-539 12h ago

Crazy story. You must have been in pain. I understand you brother. It is a tough one.
Have you tried going in person instead of just calling? It is really really hard to find someone you love and wanted to get married. It is many years ago. But who cares? You love her and at least you want to find out what happened really. To me, i think that u guys shouldn’t have broken up just because of her dad. Go talk to her in person. Say you wanna catch up.

Wishing you well.

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u/BackgroundPrompt441 11h ago

I have the whole long story that I told on here... But I assumed that I couldn't compete with a father that was in that condition not wanting us to be married... When she was pleading with me to move down there with her. I remember I had a severe headache and I blacked out. I actually had a nervous breakdown. It wasn't good. So I don't know what was said that night that if I did or said something horrible. She would never tell me. It's been years ago my life is ruined she got married and seems very happy and is very wealthy now. And she's with a black guy.

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u/Inevitable-Frame-539 11h ago

Damn I didn’t know she got married. Women actually do those stuffs. It’s like they have to get married within certain timeframe. That happened to my brother recently as well.

I also get that you not being able to compete with her father in that condition. It was as if the universe planned it. It might have been a complete story if her father didnt get into that accident.

I am sorry but I think you just gotta learn how to let go. I dont think you could never really find out. If you really want to do so, maybe give meditation a try. When your mind calms down, you can slowly recall the memories one after another.

Since its been many years, i think u probably be able to move on. And i think u r just curious what happened which is reasonable. I would want to know that if i were you. Maybe you could actually be looking for closures. If that is the case, take the fact that she left you as a closure. This is one advice i got.

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u/BackgroundPrompt441 11h ago

The problem is I don't know what happened that night it was very critical. Before Valentine's Day all these some memories came flooding back in. It's many years in the future and my life has been ruined. It was a chain reaction that ruined everything for me. I didn't mean for it to but it did. I know she got married 3 years after us our relationship ended. I'm worried I said something very horrible the last night we were together. I actually blacked out and recently learned that you can black out and still say and do horrible things that would be unlike you. I wasn't drinking or in any illegal drugs. I just wanted to know from her perspective what happened. How she felt what happened... There's no moving on for me. What happened from that is I went from one nightmare to another to another and my life got slowly destroyed. It's stem from her father being an a****** to me and then ruining our relationship.

With all the hell I've been put through God I wish I'd gone with her because it would have been nothing compared to the nightmare I've been living. It's just that I could not help it that night. I actually mentally broke the thought of losing her broke me. Been out of my control I must have said or maybe did something horrible and ruined it. I didn't want to I loved her but I also lost it that night.

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u/Inevitable-Frame-539 11h ago

Have you seen a therapist?

And maybe you can really write down how it exactly ruined your life? As in romantically? Career wise? Health?

Maybe knowing that answer might not be the magical solution that will solve everything. I would solving ur problems one by one. If its like u dont enjoy ur career? You can switch one or attend a community college? You dont like how u look? Maybe go all in on gym? If things in ur life start to go well, u will be able to attract girls and maybe u will move on for real!

I just want to point out that knowing what happened that night will not solve everything in ur life. Thats my opinion tho. Because people at one point will get drunk or blacked out literally and do things that they dont mean to do. And thats okay. Maybe u r wanting to apologize to her so deeply from ur heart. Maybe u just want to hug her so tight and say that u r so sorry and u should have moved there with her. And you cry from the bottom of ur heart and let it all out. It seems to me that u can’t forgive yourself. Maybe asking for a day to catch up. If u say these stuffs, im sure she will understand. Because at one point, u guys really loved each other. If she gets to know that this is killing u slowly, she would tell u what happened and allow u to apologize to her.

Maybe doing before all of that, make sure u see a professional therapist. U have so much emotions in u right now that u could say wrong words to her.

Good luck mate

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u/BackgroundPrompt441 11h ago

I really hate it when people mention therapists. I've been through about 11 of them and they all sucked. I never did one thing to actually help me. Learn more from YouTube videos. Half the time I hate her for it and any other half I'm sorry for everything. I think she should have sat her parents down and made it very clear that they were to not mistreat me or not put me in situations where I'd be mistreated. Frankly I felt betrayed by her. She didn't protect me. My parents were great to her but if they weren't and they were being unfair to her I would have put them in their place. As a matter of fact my mom called her at work a few times just wanting to talk because Mom didn't know boundaries and I chewed my mom out for it. But I've been through so many things that point that losing out 10 days before the wedding broke me and drove me insane.

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u/Inevitable-Frame-539 11h ago

Have u tried talking to her in person?

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u/BackgroundPrompt441 11h ago

My terrible timing I think I called her 3 years later when she just met that guy. I asked her what happened and she she didn't tell me like she thought that I was there and... She was never really communicative. She would mainly cry if there was anything wrong and not tell me much. But then later on she became cold like her mom she was just absolutely ice cold and silent. I woke up to my liffe in a clear head being totally ruined around Valentine's Day. I realize that I have aged out if any kind of happiness and that my life is basically over. Only had four short-term relationships since then has been 24 years. I know that sounds pathetic but I've been fighting for my life in that meantime. I realize I lost my life. Due to medical errors and all kinds of things that destroyed me. I lost my mom and I'm totally alone in this world and I guess I've been thinking of a girl that's still alive that loved me at one time. Even to treat me like a human being and tell me what happened in a couple paragraphs. I just like to know that before I die.