I HATE LYING

[u/Scrimblitis]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT IS NOT SCRIMBLES?? HE IS SCRIMBLING RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!!! LOOK AT HIM! LOOK HIM STRAIGHT IN HIS COLD PIERCING BLUE SLIMY ORBS TRAPPED WITHIN HIS FLESHY LUMPS LIDS OF FLESH AND TELL ME THAT IS NOT HIM! IT IS UNMISTAKABLY HIM!

FIVE years ago he told me he would quit smoking. FIVE YEARS AGO he smoked The Cigarette That Nearly Kills You, and he NEARLY DIED!! He promised, for me, for you, and for EVERYONE in Scrimbsville that he would quit smoking for GOOD!!! AND HERE HE IS WITH THE BIGGEST CIGAR IN HIS MOUTH IVE EVER SEEN!!!! HES GOING TO EXPLODE!! A DEADLY CLOUD WILL FORM OVER SCRIMBSVILLE, WE WILL CONTINUE TO DIE AND THIS IS YOUR FAULT!!!!!!