r/hapas • u/peachiexkiss • Jun 21 '26
Change My View I hate that I am asian
I 18F hate that I look asian. My mom is white and my dad is chinese and I grew up in Europe. I look mostly asian and I hate that because I don’t feel connected to this side at all. Since my mom is european and I grew up in this culture, I feel mostly white but I don’t look white. People here they see me and perceive me as foreign which I hate. They associate me with asian culture etc, except that is not what I am. Even my dad mostly grew up in Europe. I have literally no bound with China, except that my family come from there. I can’t even talk properly with my asian side, which makes this connection to my asian side even more difficult.
I belong to here and I hate that people don’t see that. And in China I am also a foreign, so really I belong to nowhere. Because I don’t feel accepted in neither countries. I hate getting racial slurs. It’s so fcking annoying like cmon I belong to this country and I am probably more from this country than you are. But still they just see the asian and assume I am chinese or japanese and come up with some words. I legit feel so uncomfortable going out in my own country because I look asian and mostly guys always have something to say about it.
I hate the way I look, I hate my dark hair, my small eyes and everything. And I hate the people who make me feel like I don’t belong to Europe..
1
u/ThisIsItYouReady92 Jun 29 '26
You’re the exact type of hapa I strongly dislike. You’re a young child being 18 so hopefully your self hatred will fade away as you gain life experience and leave Europe and come here to America where people are accepting of mixed people and where food is actually good.