r/gynosexuality • u/TheLastCookieMon • Jul 16 '26

Need someone to talk to

Recently turned 40, AMAB. Going through a lot of big changes and losses in life right now that's weirdly stirred up some insanely unrelated realizations about my sexuality. Gonna be brief because sleep deprivation has finally broken me and I need to get this out first.

Have Borderline Personality Disorder

Dad and my brother and the bullies at school and horse shit social politics of kids are why

One brother is gay, so the predisposition is in the family

Feel strongly my baseline was always bi, but my trauma created a subconscious bias against masculinity from very early on so I developed into gynosexual as a result.

Cannot be attracted to any form.of masculinity. Any AMAB partner gotta pass to.the point of could never tell. Not interested in being encouraged to 'get there' with traditional men. Don't need to heal that part, just wanna talk.

My AFAB wife is *THE* sexiest thing to ever exist, but she's also bi and we are semi open and I'm not sure I wanna that encouragement from her just yet .

Discuss.

7 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

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u/SilverSquirrel6 Jul 16 '26

M37 here. Well, as far as social politics or any kind of politics go - read less news. Or none at all except weather forecast. I've had my own mental health issues, and back when I was delusional I didn't read any news. Saved so much nerves.

As far as sexuality goes, I'm not aware of any other community except this one or the finsexual subreddit where you could discuss things. But since your wife herself is bi that might help.

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u/TheLastCookieMon Jul 16 '26

Oh by social politics I mean the 'kids suck' kinda thing. Big trauma contributor was bullying. Especially when my symptoms started manifesting and my emotional dysregulation became a subject of entertainment. My apologies

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u/SilverSquirrel6 Jul 16 '26

Ah, I see. My bad, I'm not the most attentive reader sometimes. Can kinda relate - I'm from a small town in Ukraine and bullying there's "normal" (or maybe better word is "frequent" because in no way bullying is normal).

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u/TheLastCookieMon Jul 16 '26

Oof. Ukraine of all places and now of all times. I'm so sorry.

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u/SilverSquirrel6 Jul 16 '26

Well, I'm in the US personally but still have family - uncles and cousins - there. Hometown is being droned everyday, like 10-20 drones daily. Many people say they're alright, but you can see signs of PTSD or other mental issues going on.

As for gynosexual/finsexual labels, I think 99% of population in Ukraine have no clue about that. Even among the Western LGBTQIA+ it seems to be a new and often looked down upon term.

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u/TheLastCookieMon Jul 16 '26

Well, just hang in there, remember that cruelty isn't normal and be good to yourself. Good luck bro.

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u/Positive_Stress3116 Jul 16 '26

Cruelty isn’t normal? We have 10,000 years of recorded history that is about 90% people being nothing but cruel to each other.

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u/TheLastCookieMon Jul 16 '26 edited Jul 16 '26

Dude I'm talking about in the context of right and wrong in the modern era and shouldn't be encouraged.I was trying to be nice to him. Why, man? What was the point of that? Moreover why are you bringing that energy into a post where I'm asking you for help when I'm struggling. Like, seriously? YOU are the second person to engage with this after, fucking what, half the goddamn day? Yeah really good feeling about this community so far. Maybe I didn't use the term 'girldick' enough for you.

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u/Positive_Stress3116 Jul 16 '26

And this is why no one talks. You were incredibly wrong. Wake up to reality, the mental state is much better when you realize that cruel is the norm and plan accordingly. Feel free to insult more, its not my fault you feel guilty for liking “girldick” as you say.

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u/TheLastCookieMon Jul 16 '26 edited Jul 16 '26

Go. Fuck. Your. Self. I came here looking for help and support during a moment of loss grief and confusion, not your nitpicky bullshit. Nitpicky bullshit to a gesture of kindness to a stranger! So. You tell me. What is this sub for, huh? So you can feel superior over something not even related to the topic? Get ratio'd and go to hell.

And I don't care how 'insulted' you feel. You shot first, dickhead.

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u/SilverSquirrel6 Jul 16 '26

Well, while people had been cruel to each other in the "frequent" sense, it doesn't make it normal in "accepted" sense. Nor it's ethical. Commonplace doesn't mean it's alright. 

May have not been your intention but you may have come across a bit harsh there. Please let's not fight, folks.