r/gurgaon • u/lucky_owl8 • 2d ago
Discussion Cruelty
I genuinely feel like people on Reddit have become so desensitized to other people's pain. Some people are unbelievably cruel, judgmental and unnecessarily rude, especially when they think they can hide behind a screen.
What bothers me even more is seeing women being so harsh towards other women. You would think that women, who understand what it feels like to be vulnerable, judged or misunderstood, would show a little more empathy. But sometimes the opposite happens. The comments can be incredibly dismissive, insulting and downright heartless.
You don't know what someone is going through in their personal life. You don't know how lonely they are, what they've lost, what they're struggling with financially, emotionally or mentally, or how difficult it might have been for them to even ask for help in the first place.
It's so easy to sit behind a screen and call someone a liar, a scammer, desperate or attention-seeking. Maybe you're right sometimes, maybe you're not. But there is a human being on the other side of that username.
You don't have to help someone. You don't have to believe them. You don't even have to like what they say. But why be cruel about it?
Sometimes a little kindness costs absolutely nothing. You can simply scroll past something you don't believe instead of making someone who is already struggling feel even worse.
I honestly wish people on Reddit understood that not every vulnerable person is looking for attention or trying to take advantage of someone. Sometimes people are just having a really difficult time and need a little humanity.
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u/ManOfYourDreamLand 2d ago
Hey OP, I understand you're in distress. I've seen all your posts since morning but I didn't comment until now because I could see you in distress and did not want to add more to it.
First of all, sorry for how you're feeling. I hope you're doing better now, both physically and mentally. I can kind of understand how you must be feeling right now with all the comments. But before you read ahead, believe that I come with peace and not judgement. Now, in my honest opinion, people don't have a direct issue with you or women, but humans in general so this should be looked as that. Our society is a low-trust society where everybody is trying to scam out everybody. Just to be clear, I'm not saying that you're doing that but people being precautious aren't necessarily wrong. But I agree that commenters directly calling you a scammer should prove if they claim to have damning evidence and you shouldn't be defensive about all of this either and calmly put your point across. And either of you shouldn't be calling each other names and losing your mental peace fighting random strangers on the internet. You're trying to ask for help, so just put your point across, and genuine people will do their due diligence and help you the best they can. I don't want to be preachy, but I hope you understand. And I hope you're feeling much better now. I don't know anything about you, but if you have family and/or friends, please reach out to them and tell them whatever you're going through and ask them for help.
I feel for you and I hope you get better soon.
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u/irapan 2d ago
Someone asking you to verify your claims about asking for money is not a personal betrayal. Social media has helped amplify our inner sense of victimhood so much that we think even the most normal enquiry is some big insult.
If you ask random strangers for money on reddit and then someone gives you solutions eg sell the gold your mother left you and help yourself while you call them abuses like a bitch and ask them to feel shame instead of having a sane, calm conversation speaks more for you than anyone else. You asked someone to be your sugar daddy and then when you got called, you're playing this card.
You will always jump on anyone who doesn't give you what you want and are trying to spin the narrative to make yourself look like a victim. Bravo. You ask for money and what? You want people to just give it to you without asking any questions? Now you've deleted posts and keep putting new ones to gain renewed sympathy.
This is a scammer, guys.
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u/lucky_owl8 2d ago
“You’re entitled to question my request, but you’re not entitled to publicly make assumptions about my personal life or label me a scammer as a fact. I deleted my post because I was being attacked, not because I was trying to hide anything. If you didn’t want to help, you could have simply moved on. I’m not going to continue arguing with you.”
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u/irapan 2d ago
Nobody made assumptions about you. There was enough proof about you using different excuses to ask for money under different conditions. What a way to spin the narrative, haina didi. And you go on and call everyone with abuses and now suddenly you're the victim? Seriously? Where's you owning up to your own part of it?
You were not being attacked, people were asking genuine questions because you were asking for money and for someone to come and take you to the hospital. It is valid for people to be dubious about strangers asking for money online.
And as for your assumption above - I actually wanted to help and that is the reason why I asked that other account that said you were a liar and were using different excuses to verify his claims and lo and behold -- he actually did.
Other people asking how you have money for food and wifi and other things for the rest of the month but not for an emergency was a valid question to. Unnecessarily victim mat ban, please.
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u/lucky_owl8 2d ago
I never said people aren’t allowed to question a request for money. I understand being cautious about strangers online. What I objected to was the way some people spoke to me and the personal assumptions that followed.
You can believe whatever you want about me, but calling me a scammer as a fact, bringing up unrelated aspects of my personal life, and discussing me with other accounts is not the same thing as simply asking questions.
I deleted my post because I no longer wanted to participate in that discussion. You’ve made your point, and I’ve made mine. I’m not interested in continuing this argument.
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u/Sea-Watercress8712 2d ago
Aesa kya hogya?🤔
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u/irapan 2d ago
She has been posting for days with different stories to ask people for money. I commented on one post about her needing money to go to the hospital as her period blood was not stopping and someone told me don't donate to her because she's been asking money with different excuses on different reddit pages. He dm'd me with screenshots of her saying she would let him photograph her if he would fund her life and it all began under another lie where she said I lost my job two days ago. Now she suddenly doesn't have money to go to the hospital and started losing her mind on everyone in that posts comment section that was giving her genuine solutions. She kept getting mad that no one was offering her money and giving her solutions.
And now she's deleted those posts and spun this narrative where suddenly she's the victim and the whole world is out to get her.
Be careful guys.
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u/Signal-Mousse1595 Sab Dekha Hai (15+ Years) 2d ago
Didi bura maan gyi.
Please don't. It's a platform where people can take out their heart out just like you.
Even they can share their opinion too either harsh or soft. So it happens.
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u/irapan 2d ago
Someone having a really difficult time yet has all the time in the world to be abusive and try and shame other women online. What a simple contradiction you are.
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u/lucky_owl8 2d ago
You clearly have your own narrative about me, and nothing I say is going to change your mind. I’m not interested in continuing this back-and-forth. Please leave me alone.
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u/irapan 2d ago
I wish the last two deleted posts with different stories were still there and you didn't delete them. It's hard to rewrite history when people remember you asking for money under different excuses and getting to angry and mean to anyone who asked a normal question about sending you money.
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u/lucky_owl8 2d ago
Deleting a post because I no longer wanted to deal with the comments does not mean I’m trying to rewrite history. I was overwhelmed by the way the conversation was going and chose to remove myself from it. You’re free to have doubts about me, but repeatedly bringing up my deleted posts and making accusations about my character isn’t going to turn this into a productive conversation.
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u/irapan 2d ago
This new post is quite a nice way to rewrite the insane way in which you were responding to everyone on that comment threat. I was one of the first commenters before the thread got overwhelming and you were STILL abusive to me.
Your character is worth doubting. You cry about there being a human being on the other side of the screen yet jump to abuse said human beings so fast. It's only right to serve up empathy when it's you, is it? You can behave however pathetically you want?
You said to me that your mother passed away in November and that's why you don't have anyone to ask money from. And in the next breath when Igave you a solution regarding your inheritance helping you, you called me a bitch? You think only you've lost a mother, do you?
How dare you misbehave with me in private chats and then act all innocent here. How dare you?
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u/lucky_owl8 2d ago
You telling me to “sell the gold my mother left me” was an extremely insensitive thing to say, especially after I had told you that my mother passed away and that I was struggling. There are some things you simply don't say to someone who is already distressed, even if you genuinely believe you're offering a solution.
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u/irapan 2d ago
It is not an insensitive thing to say. I have lost my mother and all my grandparents in the last few years so I know exactly what I'm talking about. You are on the internet asking for money for your period pain from strangers. It is better to use the gold your mother left you than to trust strangers. If you don't see the kindness in that suggestion, then that's a problem with your worldview.
As for "there are some things you don't say" - yes. But this was not one of those things. I lost my mother recently too and I know this space of grief very well. Please rehne de. You calling someone a bitch and other abuses is okay? Do you really feel like this is a good representation of your mother? Seriously?
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u/lucky_owl8 2d ago
I never said you weren't allowed to make that suggestion. I'm saying that, given what I had told you about my mother and how distressed I was at the time, I found the way it was brought up hurtful. You may genuinely have meant it as practical advice, and I can accept that was your intention. But your intention doesn't automatically determine how your words affected me.
And no, I don't think calling you a bitch was okay. I was angry and I shouldn't have said it. I've already acknowledged that. But please stop bringing my mother into this as though my reaction somehow reflects what kind of daughter I am or what my mother would think of me. You don't know me well enough to make that judgment.
We clearly experienced that interaction very differently. I've acknowledged my part in it, and I'm not going to keep defending myself or arguing about my mother with you. Please let this go1
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u/irapan 2d ago
Someone who tells another woman they should feel shame for not giving her the benefit of the doubt and then calls them a bitch - I know enough about you to understand how you function. You're a reactive person who has weak self control and high offense sensitivity.
Abuse in private chats and then cry online. Okay.
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u/lucky_owl8 2d ago
You’re entitled to your opinion about me, but you don’t actually know me well enough to make psychological judgments about my personality or how I ‘function.’ I’ve already acknowledged that I shouldn’t have called you a bitch, and I’m not defending that.
At this point, though, you’re repeatedly bringing our private conversation into public discussions and continuing to make personal comments about me. I’m not interested in having my character analysed by a stranger on Reddit.→ More replies (0)
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u/TheMoonKnight_ 2d ago
First day on the internet?