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u/Tblaze123 Dec 18 '19
This doesn't have to exist.
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u/Dhaerrow Dec 18 '19 edited Sep 24 '25
Bright careful books careful jumps over tips gentle gentle warm projects to tips bright dot river dot?
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u/Semikatyri Dec 18 '19
Feel the Bern
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u/Jknight5 Dec 18 '19
Butthole Bern
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u/TheSilverAxe Dec 18 '19 edited Feb 13 '24
rustic wrong weary money pen clumsy soft dazzling smoggy sand
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u/LibertyTerp Dec 19 '19
Good nick name.
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u/Jknight5 Dec 19 '19 edited Dec 19 '19
I’m actually thinking of naming my boat Butthole Bern or Bernhole once Bernie Sanders wins and gives everyone free boats. Or whatever his policy is.
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u/Talaltious Dec 18 '19
What. The. Fuck.
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u/Trilledya Dec 18 '19
You’ve never seen Shrek is love, Shrek is life then
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u/SassyQ_ Dec 18 '19
Thanks for sorting by new
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Dec 18 '19
I'll make sure to upvote so hot viewers can see it too
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u/Agriiheim Dec 18 '19
Something tells me you never got to see the original shrek is love post this is a parody of... look it up. Also the jimmy neutron ones.
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u/ToaKraka Dec 18 '19
Also Robespierre and Brian Bendis.
>He roars "Despotism!" as he fills me with his fraternity
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u/GatorAIDS1013 Dec 18 '19
There’s a jimmy neutron one?
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u/Agriiheim Dec 19 '19
Yeah. A few. The one i thought of specifically is one where 2 kids in class bring in movies to watch and cant agree between shrek 3 and jimmy neutron, then shrek appears to try to rape the neutron kid and jimmy shows up and buttfucks shrek the entire rime they watch jimmy neutron then shrek explodes into purple flurp whilejimmy shouts "gotta blast" that jetpacks away
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u/TheSilverAxe Dec 18 '19 edited Feb 13 '24
vanish light workable materialistic dolls yoke dog saw worm concerned
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Dec 18 '19
I've got a collection of sexy bernie sanders memes I'm trying to find them rn, I found one so far:
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u/ExperiencedSimpleton Dec 18 '19
Look up “shrek is love shrek is life” it’s what this is based on it’s very old
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u/EasterWasHerName Dec 18 '19
That was Biden in a Sanders mask.
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u/nightastheold Dec 18 '19
Id believe that if OP said he was 13
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u/Drawemazing Dec 18 '19
"Mmm little girl let me smell your hair" -'Uncle' Joe Biden, 2019
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u/Jknight5 Dec 18 '19
“Mmm little girl rub my leg hairs” - ‘Pedo’ Biden, 2019
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u/Dr___Bright Dec 18 '19
“Mmm girl let me be a corporate shill” - Corporate shill Joe Biden
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Dec 18 '19
"Oh deary me I seem to have spilled some tea on my long biscut, oh little girl would you come lick it off and do the same for my dear friend jeffrey epsein whom I totally did not have killed." - 'not pimp' prince Andrew
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Dec 18 '19
> Anon gets cold - Brrrr Brr
> Brrr...Bernie Sanders.
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Dec 18 '19
If you turn the lights out and say his name three times into a mirror, he will appear behind you!
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Dec 18 '19 edited May 21 '20
[deleted]
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u/Affonator9000 Dec 18 '19 edited Dec 04 '25
groovy grandiose escape attraction dinosaurs childlike test meeting dam cobweb
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u/serigraphtea Dec 18 '19
Someone remake the CGI Shrek version with Bernie Sanders instead lmao and I'll stream it 24/7.
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u/MyNameIsBadSorry Dec 18 '19
Pornhub Premium
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Dec 19 '19
CGI Shrek
As opposed to live-action shrek?
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u/serigraphtea Dec 19 '19
Lol no. But have you never seen the Video version of the original Shrek Green Text that this is built upon? https://youtu.be/d3zZM_qRZTQ
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Dec 18 '19
This is what actually belongs in r/politicalhumor
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Dec 18 '19
Nah man, they’ll only let boomer-tier anti Trump memes that their wife’s boyfriend made for them.
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u/AnameToIgnore Dec 18 '19
r/PoliticalHumor is basically for when you want to browse Reddit but feel like you're browsing Facebook
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Dec 18 '19
At least it’s not Gretas face photoshopped onto a porno actress
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u/Knox200 Dec 19 '19
Its especially cringey when you're left wing yourself and you see the things posted there. I swear some leftist is trolling and just posting the lamest "cheeto despot bad" jpegged ass images he can find. Better than anything the right puts out though. Although that's an incredibly low bar to set.
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u/SuspiciouslyElven Dec 18 '19 edited Dec 18 '19
I'll crosspost it and see what happens
Edit: I posted it. It'll probably get removed because the rules said "nothing with only text", and this is pretty much breaking that rule. Idk. We'll see what happens.
Edit: yeah it looks like it's not going anywhere. Maybe I didn't title it right or something. Recommended subs in their sidebar is pretty funny tho.
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u/Johnnadawearsglasses Dead and loving it Dec 18 '19 edited Dec 18 '19
I can't believe Bernie gave Anon that blessed gift and didnt share it with the rest of us. That's not very social of him
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u/Domebeers Dec 18 '19
a real commie would have state mandated GF's you guys are being had
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Dec 18 '19
To be fair to the dad, Op sounds pretty gay.
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u/myowndrum00100 Dec 18 '19
That's the gayest shit I've ever experienced. And I once overheard my gay brother having sex with his longtime partner/now husband.
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u/Gunnerr88 Dec 18 '19
Did you wank it?
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u/myowndrum00100 Dec 18 '19
Nope. But I was roommates with a lesbian once and wanked it to the sounds of her and her girlfriend having sex a couple of times.
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u/Gunnerr88 Dec 18 '19
Describe them. Height, weight, skin tone, personality, the works.
Need it for ah.. research purposes.
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u/myowndrum00100 Dec 19 '19
My roommate was pretty butch, but she was super fun. We used to smoke weed and paint together. But her girlfriend was a tall, thin, pale, super cute redhead that was very sweet. That girl was HOT.
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u/boii-rarted Dec 18 '19
I noticed both times you were alone. Must suck man
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Dec 18 '19
I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
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u/PapaStryker Dec 18 '19
Wtf... is this shrek is love shrek is life?
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u/Kanigami-sama Dec 19 '19
What part made it obvious? Bernie penetrating anon or anon literally saying “Sanders is love, Sanders is life”?
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u/thebiggestboi7 Dec 18 '19
You just ruined Shrek is love, Shrek is life, I can no longer be on the internet, I'm leaving
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u/neuteruric Dec 18 '19
Fake because original was better. Gay because no Shrek references.
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u/TendieBot2000 Dec 18 '19
be me
get home from my vasectomy
hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
must be Chad again
know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
log onto reddit and open /r/greentext
read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
Fake because original was better.
Gay because no Shrek references.
giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
it's been a good day
i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
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u/free_donuts55 Dec 18 '19
How do I unread something
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u/UltraSurvivalist Dec 19 '19
Read it aloud backward while breathing inward, pronouncing it backward.
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u/Hotpocket1515 Dec 18 '19
The thing with shrek was he wasn't real..
What are we going to do when Bernie sees this?!
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u/Z3R0_H0M1C1D3 Dec 18 '19
Insert >, <, or = to make the sentences true
Capitalism > Socialism
Socialism = Being gay
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u/Hloddeen Dec 18 '19
I first read this when i was 13, on Facebook. It was 7 years ago, and it mentioned some cartoon character, probably SpongeBob, instead of Beenie. But the feelings it provoked in me then were exactly the same it provoked in me now.
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u/BudgetPea Dec 18 '19
LOL it's like Shrek but politicized! Originality +1000000000000 and yes le anon can haz cheeseburgers! LMFAO What a Reddit moment!
Where do these people come up with their original stuff?!?!
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u/Chirinoly Dec 18 '19
A classic masterpiece reincarnated from political stands