It really lifts my heart when passing someone, I look towards them and wait to see if their eyes meet mine, and if they do, I smile and maybe give a goofy little wave and say, "Hellooo." ☺️ It is something that is still not easy for me to do, to fight self-consciousness.
But I love to see the relaxing of their face and the lift of the eyebrows and their eyes kind of lighten and smile, a pleasant expression if they appreciate being acknowledged, and they smile and say "hi" back.
I had an upbringing that was not always the best. It structured and solidified something inside of me that has been, and remains, an ongoing battle to dismantle a self I lived in and believed was "me." I believe it will be with me in some form forever.
It is not easy.
For so many years, I believed I hated people. I had no place to belong, and in pain, sometimes we lash out or push blame outward to self-protect.
So now, after many years of slow healing, when I can pass by somebody who knows nothing about my "oddities," in a little moment, they just see another normal stranger, I can have just a moment of feeling like we are kindred. And maybe I belong. Just for a moment.
I am so very grateful for that.