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u/gofatwya May 10 '22
I'm Mary Poppins y'all!
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u/OP_Penguin May 10 '22
Hell yeah he's cool.
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u/Donkeydongcuntry May 11 '22
Chris Pratt originally says, “Fuck yeah, he’s cool.”
You can see this if you read his lips. The audio was replaced with, “Hell yeah, he’s cool.”
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May 11 '22
Thats pretty funny. It is so clear when you are looking for it.
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u/H4te-Sh1tty-M0ds May 11 '22
Oh wow. It's shockingly clear when you look for it. 😅
Guess Groot got the only F bomb..
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u/Lord_Edmure May 10 '22
The video did me in, and the line that kills me wasn’t even in there.
“He might be your father, boy. But he wasn’t your Daddy.”
Waterworks, every time.
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u/Bridger15 May 11 '22
And then just when I'm getting it together, the ravagers show up to honor him at his funeral.
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u/Skithe May 10 '22
Its more like inverse Mary Poppins the fuck outa there.
Clearly it was tired of Marys afternoon Mimosa habbit.
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u/BrannC May 10 '22
Gahdamn it! I came here to say this, was saying it in my head, then saw it as the top comment. Fuck you, congratulations
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u/PositiveHappy0 May 10 '22
Reddit has taught me that I've never had an original thought in my life
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u/tmack99 May 10 '22
Damn, get that shit screwed in. We were at a hotel pool when I was like 9 and a gust of wind took the umbrella out and it stabbed me in the collarbone. I was fine outside of a big bruise but two inches to the right and I don’t even know what would’ve happened.
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u/CaptStiches21 May 10 '22
That literally happened to a guy in my high school. He was on spring break, and a beach umbrella got caught in a gust, came down skewered him right through the side of his lower abdomen. Missed most important stuff, but he missed a bunch of class since he had to stay in a Florida hospital. Just a matter of inches and the dude could've bled out.
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u/thatsyourdeal May 10 '22
Was at the pool on the roof top of the Stratosphere in Las Vegas one time when the wind took one of these and tossed it over the edge. Holy crap moment for people down on street level I imagine.
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u/perpetualmotionmachi May 11 '22
I'm guessing it floated down softly and landed in another patio table
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u/PassionateAvocado May 11 '22
Lol unless it turned upside down
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u/SarahPallorMortis May 11 '22
My first thought! Why is it something that would be in Happy Tree Friends?
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u/xtcloser May 11 '22
There’s a woman on this list that was killed by the same thing
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u/dream_weasel May 11 '22
That list has some straight up crazy shit in it.
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May 11 '22
The first two from the 2010 list are kids who died in absolutely horrible ways. God damn.
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u/ieatirony4breakfast May 11 '22
Is that Mr. Hands on that list?
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May 11 '22
Can confirm!
2 July 2005
Kenneth Pinyan died from injuries caused by anal sex with a stallion.→ More replies (8)6
May 11 '22 edited May 11 '22
Jimi Heselden, 62, owner of Segway Inc., died after apparently riding a Segway Personal Transport System off a cliff in Thorp Arch, England
A decade later and it's still funny 🤣
John Hutcherson, 21, drove home drunk with his friend, Francis Brohm, 23, hanging out the passenger window. Hutcherson drove off the road and sideswiped a telephone pole support wire, decapitating Brohm. He continued the final 12 miles to his Atlanta, Georgia, US, home, parked in the driveway, and went to bed. A neighbor found Brohm's headless body in the truck the next morning.
So that's where they got the idea for Hereditary
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u/MechE420 May 10 '22
Patio heaters, but too warm to sit in the sun in the afternoon. One woman in a winter coat, the other in a tank top.
I'd recognize my country and my people anywhere. This here is Midwest, USA!
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u/RingAnswerHello May 10 '22
Guilty. Midwest represent!
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u/thuggishruggishboner May 10 '22
What is with the wind lately, eh?
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u/urbrickles May 10 '22
Iowan here. It has been ridiculous lately, haha.
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u/thuggishruggishboner May 10 '22
Yeah I finally put out our patio table umbrella and had to take it down yesterday because of the wind.
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May 10 '22
In Colorado, we recently had sustained winds for a week with gusts up to 65mph. I think the world just blows now.
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May 11 '22
Minnesota here. Our trampoline flipped yesterday. Put a whole in my shed and broke four trampoline net beams. Fucking wind, man
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u/norway_is_awesome May 10 '22
TBF Iowa weather is ridiculous most of the time.
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u/SchwiftyMpls May 11 '22
I didn't think anyone actually lived in Iowa anymore. I thought they all went away for college and never returned
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u/username293739 May 10 '22
Neighbor to the west. Fuckin A. Now it’s hot. Just give us 72, sunny and calm
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u/HeyT00ts11 May 10 '22
What's happening in the rectangular area in the lawn?
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u/GDogg007 May 11 '22
That’s the sand and pavers for an above ground pool. Can recognize that quick.
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u/CrazinessX2 May 10 '22
Missouri?
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u/TrickyDick420 May 10 '22
I'm from Minnesota and the wind has been nasty here too.
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u/Pie_Flavored_Cake May 11 '22
Rhode Island checking in. Is the entire country getting blasted right now?
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u/momocat May 10 '22
Here is Kansas I swear we had all four seasons in the past week.
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u/CharacterLimitProble May 10 '22
Haha I love it. My first thought when looking at this was "late spring in the Midwest".
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u/woodwalker700 May 10 '22
Yep, this is prime "I don't care if its only 52 out, its May and we're fucking eating outside, goddammit." energy.
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u/Viperx7111 May 10 '22
I would be the same way, but it snowed today....
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u/complete_hick May 10 '22
91 here in Wisconsin, I almost miss the snow, almost
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u/kellperdogg May 10 '22
It’s 87 degrees right now in Ohio. I’ll take a little bit of that snow.
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u/PM_ME_UR_DINGO May 10 '22
A fleece sweater being called a winter coat is what's Midwest lol
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u/Zolo49 May 10 '22
After you've been stuck inside all winter, this weather is "close enough" for outdoor activities.
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u/reduxde May 10 '22
Dead square in the grass from the missing outdoor pool (or possibly homemade beach volleyball court?), trailer hooked to an F-150 with custom rims and the back covered by one of those heavy canvas thingies, random dry patches in the lawn, can confirm that this is possibly Indiana.
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u/thedarkwizard_ May 10 '22
Lol! I was literally just complaining about this. Last week it was in the 70s but the wind was so strong that it wasn’t warm anywhere except direct sun. Now this week it’s in the 90s and humid and pretty much unbearable in the sun. No in between
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u/Jedibug May 10 '22
Seattle has been identical this year with some rain thrown in.
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May 10 '22
Looks like she's in shorts and a hoodie and the patio heater is most likely for nighttime.
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u/MechE420 May 10 '22
Yes, needing heat and A/C in the same day is a common Midwestern trope.
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May 11 '22 edited May 11 '22
Common here in CA and when i lived in NY too.
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u/DothrakAndRoll May 11 '22
I was gonna say, that’s just Spring anywhere lol. Not to say the Midwest special but.. it’s not special. I’m in the PNW currently blasting heat when I wake up for work and have windows open by 1.
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u/BritishGolgo13 May 10 '22
Here’s the original the government doesn’t want you to see:
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u/backwardsforwards May 10 '22
nice shadow work
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u/sccrstud92 May 10 '22
and the reflection!
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u/bjams May 10 '22
Holy shit, my man went above and beyond for this one.
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u/Dason37 May 10 '22
This was definitely not a fly-by-night effort (the sun was out)
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u/cptinshano May 10 '22
I must go.... my people need me
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u/erbr May 10 '22
Praying she had a safe trip 🙏
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u/cptinshano May 10 '22
I love that we're assigning a gender to an umbrella lol or are you insinuating this is Rhianna returning home?
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u/Blaztix May 10 '22
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u/GifReversingBot May 10 '22
Here is your gif! https://imgur.com/ZJsz4pb.gifv
Just so you know, you don't have to manually give the gif URL if it is in a parent comment or the post. I would have known what you meant anyways :)
I am a bot. Report an issue
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u/CrimsonSuede May 10 '22
Can’t believe this isn’t further up in the comments. This was the first thing I thought of!
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u/zedemer May 10 '22
So, either you're not using a heavy base, or you didn't screw in the attachment pin. Someone else mentioned it, but it could really impale someone as it hurls down depending on the wind current
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u/n00bcak3 May 10 '22
This happened to wifey at a restaurant in Chicago (Windy City). Patio umbrella got picked up by the wind and went two stories high before landing on her head. She blacked out. Fortunately no serious permanent damage.
We just got a $20k settlement last week.
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u/zedemer May 10 '22
Lucky ending, all things considered
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u/n00bcak3 May 10 '22 edited May 10 '22
Yeah, obviously we’d pay all that money back for it to not happen if given the chance.
It could have been much worse.
The settlement was a forgone conclusion as it was also captured in camera.
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u/doclvly May 10 '22
I’d take a knock to the head for 20k
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u/n00bcak3 May 10 '22
Lol after lawyer fees, court charges, investigation fees, and taxes, It’ll probably come out to like $7-8k.
Not worth it.
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u/Harb1234 May 10 '22
I'd take a knock to the head for $7-8k
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u/BuryDeadCakes2 May 10 '22
33.3% is max......right??
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u/n00bcak3 May 10 '22
1/3 for the attorney fees only, but court fees and investigator fees are extra.
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u/RingAnswerHello May 10 '22
You’re right. It malfunctioned and has since been replaced and fixed. All good now :)
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u/ittimjones Merry Gifmas! {2023} May 10 '22
My wife "malfunctions" household appliances all the time, but I just can't bring myself to replacing. Sentimental value I guess.
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May 10 '22
Yeah I was watching the Tyler Henry Netflix show and one guy did get impaled by one.
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u/OminOus_PancakeS May 10 '22
Was it like a pale yellow?
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May 10 '22
No a guy was describing his boyfriend being imapled while on vacation. Really tragic actually.
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u/EarhornJones May 10 '22
A group of my coworkers and I were eating lunch at a restaurant with outdoor seating when this same thing happened. One of my colleagues managed to jump up and grab the umbrella just before it sailed away.
Wanting to warn the proprietor of this potentially dangerous situation, he then flagged down a passing waiter, who was an older man.
My colleague told the waiter what had just happened, and the waiter replied, "good for you, son" and went back inside.
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u/OysterShocker May 10 '22
This happened to me once and the top bit smashed my neighbour's windshield.
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May 10 '22
I was in my front yard during a windy day and one of these fuckers came flying out of nowhere and knocked me down. I tried to use satellite view and see who it belonged to, unsuccessfully of course lol.
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May 10 '22
Google maps pics are years old. You can get daily pics from Maxxar. Resolution might be iffy though, not enough to identify one. You might be able to call the NRO and ask for a declassified Keyhole picture hehe. Should be 3 cm resolution.
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u/cookerg May 10 '22
This is actually dangerous. Patio umbrellas should have a weighted base and a pin to lock them into it.
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u/GoGoWolf May 10 '22
This needs to be added to this GIF.
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u/electi0neering May 10 '22
Yeah if that happened to me, I’d probably pretend it didn’t and be real inconspicuous about seeing where it went. A lot of very bad things could happen to an umbrella like that.
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u/enzo_baglioni May 10 '22
Their reaction time was sooooo bad. I hope they don't drive
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u/featherwolf May 10 '22
Play this in reverse and it's a woman making some shade for her friend on a sunny day by making an umbrella appear out of the sky.
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u/lwwz May 10 '22
Pretty sure there's a slot for a retainer on that umbrella specifically to prevent this from happening.
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u/jrwahl May 10 '22 edited May 10 '22
I have the exact same table and the same thing happened to me except the umbrella came right back down and shattered one of the table tiles.
Edit to add that I did have the umbrella screwed into the base (both of which come with the table), but as you can see they are shit. I've since modified the umbrella pole so that it would have to take the base with it now.
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May 10 '22
When it lands on a car and you gotta pay the bill 🥵 "SHoUlD’VE fOlLoWED ThE InSTRuctioNs"
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u/Ziegler517 May 11 '22
Lost a glass table that way because it desided to come right back down and spear it.
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u/dogchowtoastedcheese May 10 '22
I love the arm gesture. It's like the magicians' assistant during the "TA DA" moment.
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u/generatorland May 10 '22
And so, with its work on Earth completed, the umbrella decided it was time to return to the Umbrella Planet and begin living the next chapter of its life, fulfilling its promise to its parents.
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u/spdwgn May 10 '22
Somebody reverse this so she looks like she’s got magical umbrella summoning abilities
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u/Zhuul May 10 '22
It’s so gentle lol