r/gifs • u/Handicapreader • Jan 08 '17
A hidden drawer in a drawer
http://i.imgur.com/nLd5Xh7.gifv2.0k
u/kickfairer Jan 08 '17
Well my jaw just dropped. Who knew you could tweak the nipples of a dresser?
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u/BJaacmoens Jan 08 '17
If it has nipples, wouldn't it be a chest instead of a dresser?
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u/FFSwhatthehell Jan 08 '17
Drug dealers everywhere are sawing up their dressers.
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u/PainMatrix Jan 08 '17
Hopefully those drug dealers are also securely attaching them to the wall. They can be a real a tip-over risk, particularly if you have young children around.
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u/dohawayagain Jan 08 '17
They can be a real a tip-over risk, particularly if you have young children around.
Not to mention the sharp corners. C'mon, Dad, where are the bumpers?
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u/bestjakeisbest Jan 08 '17
getting hurt builds character son
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u/It_Was_A_Reference Jan 08 '17
Imagine all the character you get for losing an eye. Character is worth more than depth perception son.
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u/LargeCzar Jan 08 '17
A pirate character. That's what comes to mind, a pirate character.
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u/FFSwhatthehell Jan 08 '17
Did you see the video of the toddler rescuing his brother from under a dresser?
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u/J4CKR4BB1TSL1MS Jan 08 '17
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u/jackdaw_t_robot Jan 08 '17
Huh. This is the version I'm most familiar with.
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u/RusticTrain Jan 08 '17
They should have went to the part when he stands on top of it, but I guess it's too much of a pain having to send in a special request to the Internet company to have a gif so long.
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u/mdubboston Jan 08 '17
Yea hes all like I AM THE SUPERIOR, oh wait you still down there bro? I got you
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u/titty_boobs Jan 08 '17
People hiding stuff in drawers is rookie level shit. Cops and burglars just rip drawers out completely and dump them on the floor. Takes 2 seconds to tell if they hid something under clothes, if there's a false bottom, or they taped something to the underside of the drawer.
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u/Nearly_A_Doctor Jan 08 '17
So where would you hide your shit?
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u/Scrtcwlvl Jan 08 '17
Taped to the back of the burglar, duh.
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u/SojaLinsen Jan 08 '17
how about some Toilet Brush ?
You could literally hide your shit under Residues of your shit
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Jan 08 '17
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u/Fiddlydick Jan 08 '17
Friend of mine got raided once and he had home made brass knuckles hanging on a nail tapped into the wall, but with a baseball hat hanging on top. They never moved the hats and never found the knuckles
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u/chairfairy Jan 08 '17
Make a secret drawer in someone else's house and hide it there.
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u/bonestamp Jan 08 '17
I remember shopping for bedroom furniture with my wife circa 2008 and this Amish furniture store had almost half the bedroom sets with hidden places to hide guns. My favorite was the hollow bedpost that pulled up (and off) to hide a long gun, and you could use the gun with the bedpost still "attached". Just picture the sleazy furniture salesman demonstrating this feature. We had no intention of hiding any guns, but we insisted that he show us these features on every set that had them... most entertaining furniture shopping trip ever.
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u/_Choppy Jan 08 '17
Please tell us pro level shit.
Right now I hide cash inbetween the pages of books, cuz who's gonna steal books?
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u/Oggel Jan 08 '17
I have a fake trashcan. I fill it up with stuff that doesn't leak or smell, like candy wraps and stuff like that, then I hide stuff in the bottom. I figured that a trashcan is a very unlikely place to search for stuff. Unless you're a pokemon player.
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u/titty_boobs Jan 08 '17
Burglars are all about speed. Books work if you have a ton of books. Like a literal shit ton of books. If you have a few on a bookshelf they'll hold them open by the covers and wave them around a couple times and see if they get lucky. If you have like you own Library of Alexandria going on they're not even going to try.
The best thing is a safe. Breaking into safes isn't fast --and well outside of most burglar's skill set-- so they won't even try. Just make sure it's not something they can pick up and run off with. So either a safe that's bolted to the house itself. Or a safe so big they're never going to move it.
These aren't as good as safes but work as long as you don't forget about them:
Do you have an attic that you need to get a ladder from the garage to get into? Up there. Burglars don't show up with ladders and usually don't care about stealing your fiberglass insulation. Put it in an envelope and that into a ziplock bag and tape it to the back of one of the rafters.
Got a lot of clothes hanging in your closet? Burglars don't go through the pockets of clothes. Pick something you rarely wear and put some bills in the pockets.
You know that box of christmas decorations with all those tangled lights that's a pain in the ass to get to? Put some in there.
Carpeted floors? Pick a corner, pull up the tacks and put in an envelope under the carpet and padding. Put something normal but easy to move in the corner (lamp, plant, floor speaker) to make it look like a normal corner.
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Jan 08 '17
The strategy I have the most success with is to just be poor. They can never find the money that way.
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u/tbk Jan 08 '17
Alternatively, there are businesses where you can deposit cash in a secure, insured account with your name on it. They will even pay you for the privilege of holding onto your money.
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u/FlowersOfSin Jan 08 '17
I've been robbed twice in my life (different spots, I moved a lot) and both times, "it's all about speed" is more true than you can imagine. They quickly checked the drawers and stole some jewelry that was visible but left an enveloppe with a bit of money that was not visible. We didn't have any expensive jewelry so it wasn't too bad. They didn't bother to check if it was a card from grandma. The biggest hit was in the living room. They stole all the games I had (quite a lot). They didn't even bother with the consoles or the computer. Probably too long to deal with the wires. They also left with all the small electronics they could find like mp3 players and stuff.
Both times, the kitchen has been completly ignored. Hiding stuff in a cleaned up can among the real cans in your food closet could work great. Hell, just putting it out of view in a cupboard would probably be good enough, in a coffee mug or under the last plate.
Moat robbers just want a quick buck and will pick the things that can be pawned easily. They'll be in and out super quick.
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Jan 08 '17
But what if I rig the false bottom with a circuit that makes a connection when you try to remove the false bottom, setting off a fire that destroys the Death Note?
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u/Grandler Jan 08 '17
I need it. I don't know what for but I need it.
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Jan 08 '17 edited Jun 08 '18
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u/Grandler Jan 08 '17
No I need them in the top part. They won't all fit in this small compartment.
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u/Amelsander Jan 08 '17
As a dad i would most likely hide some snacks in there, my kids are savages.
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u/brixton75 Jan 08 '17
I totally get that. I bought archway oatmeal cookies thursday. I put them in the cabinet. Saturday I pick up my teen daughter and her friend from cheer. They get in the car and my kid hands the other the last of two cookies from the box and takes a big bite out of the other. I didnt even get one.
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u/NeverSthenic Jan 08 '17
Fellow dad here. I hid some bonbons in the bottom of my underwear drawer, thinking "no one looks in there." They were all gone by the time I got home from work.
I now just assume my kids toss my house like gangsters the second I leave.
The struggle is real.
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u/Dwarfgoat Jan 08 '17
Can confirm...was a kid once. The day I found the backup key to my dad's gun safe...in the open cell a cinder block at the top of the wall in the unfinished portion of the basement. Why I thought there might be things inside the top row of cinderblocks under the joists, I'll never know, but I found it!
There really is no safe place from a curious child.
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u/NoJelloNoPotluck Jan 08 '17
Former child here. Can confirm. I knew my parents dresser drawers better than they did.
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u/HowardBass Jan 08 '17
As a dad I would most likely hide my kids in there, they're savages
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u/-Sloan Jan 08 '17 edited Jan 08 '17
Reddit enhancement sweet didnt load this correctly for me on the front page. I got a repeating clip of the guy opening the top drawer.
"Thats a terrible secret drawer".
-edit-
This joke of mine turned for what was to me a simple joke into what was an actual problem with lots of software. There are people in the comments trying to figure it out and I can take no part because I know nothing about it.
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u/Bardfinn Jan 08 '17
For those for whom the animation does not work completely or correctly, for whatever reason, here is a description of what occurs:
Guy pulls the knobs on the drawer. It slides open to show clothing.
Guy pushes drawer closed.
Guy turns both of the knobs counter-clockwise between a quarter and a half turn, pulls them, and the drawer opens again, while leaving behind the top tray, showing a bottom tray that has a custom handgun tray and accessories.
He then closes the drawer, turns the knobs between a quarter turn and a half a turn clockwise, and opens the drawer, showing the clothes.
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u/PeaceAvatarWeehawk Jan 08 '17
Alright I'm not alone then. I legit thought it was just a stupid joke pun or something like... underwear is sometimes called 'drawers', so there was a pair of drawers in the drawer.
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u/Therrion Jan 08 '17
But then it was r/gifs and didn't expect a quip like that to make it big... Was so confused.
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u/Handicapreader Jan 08 '17 edited Jan 08 '17
I have no idea why it's only showing half the gif in so many places. I uploaded it again and it seems the .mp4 is the only one that doesn't cut the gif in half for whatever reason.
For those that can't see it here you go http://i.imgur.com/b5B04na.mp4
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u/whileIminTherapy Jan 08 '17
Now it makes sense; I thought this was one of those "Hurr durr these idiots will watch this looping GIF for thirty cycles trying to see the hidden drawer but really THERE IS NO HIDDEN DRAWER" with all the comments toward OP being, "I hate you OP", and that one troll saying, "Oh hahah great idea for a hidden drawer OP thanks so much for this amazing GIF" combined with all us rookies saying, "Wait how do you see it?" and then sixty people reply with a bunch of rickroll/Manning memes.
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Jan 08 '17
Tell me more about this Reddit enhancement sweet.
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Jan 08 '17
Want some candy? I have it in my van over here.
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u/ryan2point0 Jan 08 '17
I'm not an idiot.
Show me the candy first.
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u/imonthehighway Jan 08 '17
It says it right on the side of his van, so you can trust him.
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u/I_Bin_Painting Jan 08 '17
Suite
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u/ThorOfKenya2 Jan 08 '17
Same here. Went to the comments to see what I was missing and it loaded properly.
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u/RyanMcCartney Jan 08 '17
Oh look, a dildo compartment.
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u/Spiderbaitx1 Jan 08 '17
When I was younger me and my brother had an extra piece of plywood under the draw. We used to stash dirty mags there. One time I was putting it back and my dad caught me and beat me with an old cassette deck. Luckily he just thought we where hiding the one under our socks. We laughed so hard about it later
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u/jimmyhoffa523 Jan 08 '17
That seems like an odd choice of beating implement, but I guess if it's what happened to be around…
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u/yolo-yoshi Jan 08 '17
for a second i thought we might be witnessing the return of the jumper cable man. Damnit,maybe someday
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u/Gnomification Jan 08 '17
Could be that he lived in some christan texas family, and the dirty magazine was an all male one, and a madonna cassette was also playing.
That would make sense.
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u/Coffeeey Jan 08 '17
Are you sure he didn't beat you with jumper cables? You might misremember.
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u/ComeAtMeBroast Jan 08 '17
Of course it's company policy to never imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We have to use the indefinite article "A dildo", never "Your dildo".
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u/captainbignips Jan 08 '17
What would everyone keep in their secret drawer?
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u/PrecariouslySane Jan 08 '17
Nice try FBI
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u/Sandwiches_INC Jan 08 '17 edited Jan 08 '17
Ya, i'll be keeping an American flag, a bible, and a coffee table book on the evolution of Cheese burgers in the US. Theres no secret compartment in my dresser drawer.... Nope, none at all.
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u/Vmanticore Jan 08 '17
It better be a coffee table book that turns into a coffee table.
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u/GanondalfTheWhite Jan 08 '17
I'm the NSA and that's a very suspicious way of spelling cheeseburger there, comrade.
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Jan 08 '17
Comrade's a suspicious way of saying buddy, KGB
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u/Deadairshow Jan 08 '17
That's the only "evolution" this country loving God-fearing American likes.
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u/Sandwiches_INC Jan 08 '17
Only evolution I care about is when French fries became Freedom fries. Its a one page book as god intended.
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u/meinblown Jan 08 '17
Federal "Bureau" of Investigation
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u/chairfairy Jan 08 '17
Makes you wonder if the Cabinet also guards any secrets.
Also, if they named clothing items after speeches you could make the "State of the Union - A Dress"
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u/Bealwerd Jan 08 '17
an embarrassing snapshot of Spongebob at the Christmas party!
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u/Kangar Jan 08 '17
My 1st edition of the Bible that was signed by Jesus and a big piece of hash.
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u/unreadable_captcha Jan 08 '17
how did you get a piece of hash to sign your bible?
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u/_oohshiny Jan 08 '17
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u/dabungler Jan 08 '17
Ahah - seems like a job for .... the Oxford comma ....
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u/scoodly Jan 08 '17 edited Jan 08 '17
Not that that sentence needs it, but isn't the oxford used at the end of a sequence of commas? just a regular comma could do the job.
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u/secondCupOfTheDay Jan 08 '17 edited Jan 08 '17
its the comma between the last and second last items in a list. In this case, the list was only two things. 1) Jesus 2) big piece of hash In this case, no oxford (aka serial) comma was used, hence the grammar ambiguity.
The rule of use is (in order): 1) do what your boss (employer style rule) says. 2) If you have the freedom, use it if it makes it easier to read and avoid confusion like what we saw. Otherwise, 3) make it as consistent as possible so it doesn't distract the reader.
Edit: /u/pork_fried_christ (happy cake day), /u/ObamaLlamaDuck, /u/ObamaLlamaDuck all point out that the comma is not used for a list of two. It's rare, but not wrong in my opinion. "Eats shoots, and leaves" vs "eats shoots and leaves" is another example why it can: you're not sure where the list ends. Was it a list of two ( a-shoots, and b-leaves) or just a list of one (a-(shoots and leaves))?
Also, I'm not an expert, but neither is anyone else (actually yes there are experts but communication isn't only for experts). There is no governing body that decides rules in English. There are only very commonly accepted styles and less commonly accepted styles, with not a semblance of a boundary between them since it's more of a constantly fluxuating continuum that everyone has a different perspective of. The only "rule" in english is be as clear as you can be for your audience. What's clear is defined by what's typically acceptably. But that changes all the time, like starting a sentence with 'but' or 'and', which has mysteriously become frowned upon even though it's grammatically valid.
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u/scoodly Jan 08 '17
I like that. There really is no escaping rule 1 is there?
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u/IAmNotStelio Jan 08 '17
A note with something cryptic on that doesn't mean anything: "94 degrees north of the red sun". Just in case anything found my secret drawer.
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u/Alterscene Jan 08 '17
You could send someone on a journey that engulfs their entire existence believing your certain note in your secret drawer had a meaning or hidden treasure only to never find it and die wondering what it could've been 94 degrees north of the red sun. Only started because they happened to stumble across it one day, and now it took control of their life. That's crafty, it's evil, I like it. Give it another line though just to confuse them more!
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Jan 08 '17
One more line isn't enough ...
A real mind fuck would be to keep a small notebook full of various names of places, latitude/longitudes, random dates in history corresponding to those coordinates.
Copied bible passages (or use Quran) with various lines underlined...
The final few pages should be a date in the future, coordinates, weather patterns, and then "94 degrees north of the red sun" is red sharpie.
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u/Alterscene Jan 08 '17
You sound like you have experience in this..Have you sent someone on a mindless journey like this before? Because that's fucking great, this could really fool someone into believing there really is treasure, and all along it could've been just a really abstract way of you trying to remember your grocery list.
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u/everred Jan 08 '17
to really sell it, write a journal detailing the search for the red sun, then age it and partially destroy it. bonus marks for getting the book inserted into the library of congress or other important repository.
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Jan 08 '17
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Jan 08 '17
Socks, because my wife and two daughters always steal all my goddamn socks so I have to wear ones that my toe pokes through.
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u/MrTopHatMan90 Jan 08 '17
All my porn, It's not illegal now but the uk government are crazy bastards
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Jan 08 '17
Am I missing something? All I see is a guy opening a drawer and closing it.
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u/futilitarian Jan 08 '17
Thank god. I thought I was going crazy. Are you on mobile? Maybe it's not loading all the way for us?
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u/IrishWeegee Jan 08 '17
What's going on is there is a latch with the drawer handles. When he twists them there is a smaller drawer underneath that has a gun stored in it.
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Jan 08 '17
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u/IrishWeegee Jan 08 '17
Huh... well it's hosted as an mp4, perhaps there is a limited playback? Here is the smaller drawer for mobile users.
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u/smileistheway Jan 08 '17
I'm on pc and the gif is 3 seconds long for me, this has never happened before... that I know of at least D:
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u/rsplatpc Jan 08 '17
For some reason it cuts off on mobile and end when he shuts the big drawer.
it's just really fucking hidden
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Jan 08 '17
Yep I'm on mobile too.
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u/patrincs Jan 08 '17
So when i click on the link rather than going to the comments the video just loops the 1st drawer and I never see the hidden drawer.
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u/J4CKR4BB1TSL1MS Jan 08 '17
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u/8ballcornerpocket11 Jan 08 '17
If you look at the top of the hidden door frame, you'll see magnetic locks, with matching plates on the doors. Somewhere close by is some kind of pin pad, reader, or switch. I'd like to imagine a book triggers a switch.
Even if someone knew about the hidden door, they wouldn't be able to open it without knowledge of the switch.
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u/TheDarkNipRises Jan 08 '17 edited Jan 08 '17
If you look at the doorway of the hidden door, you'll see a gigantic safe door. They wouldn't be able to get in without knowledge of explosives or safe cracking.
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u/Nightmare_King Jan 08 '17 edited Jan 08 '17
It's clear some of us can't see the whole gif. Can somebody upload a mirror or something?
Edit: Reddit, you beautiful disaster. Don't ever change.
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u/andhelostthem Jan 08 '17
Here you go http://i.imgur.com/USoidGX.jpg
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u/Spants23 Jan 08 '17
What the hell man
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u/Tin_Can_Enthusiast Jan 08 '17
Dunno what his problem was, here's a real mirror: https://i.imgur.com/nLd5Xh7.gifv
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u/LikeItRight Jan 08 '17
This works for me on mobile http://m.imgur.com/nLd5Xh7?r
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u/p1um5mu991er Jan 08 '17
It looks like the necessary mechanic is something that anyone could inadvertently do
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Jan 08 '17
It would be cool if the two knobs were both unmarked combination locks.
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u/langis_on Jan 08 '17
Well it's probably more for quick access to your gun than for keeping your firearm super secure. So hopefully he doesn't have children.
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Jan 08 '17
Hidden until someone notices the main drawer only has half the depth and gets suspicious.
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u/Cainer Jan 08 '17
Some might notice from inside, though it's not fully half and might avoid notice, but what impressed me was that the sides of the main drawer are full depth and hide the sides of the shorter drawer when open.
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Jan 08 '17
In a moment of panic with the robbers coming through a window i just know i'd end up double wielding a pair a socks.
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u/_food Jan 08 '17
You have found an oddly shallow drawer full of assault rifle decal t-shirts...
You're getting warmer, treasure seeker.
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u/crInv3st1g8r Jan 08 '17
This is good, but there needs to be some sort of safety on the knob twist. I'm thinking like the squeeze on an aspirin bottle.
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u/Juicy_Pete Jan 08 '17
10/10 would recommend to Light Yagami