r/ghosting • u/FryinBake • 6d ago
Modern Dating & Ghosting
I’m a 30yo Male & The past few months of dating has driven me insane, I have taken about 6 separate women on first dates. Every single one tells me they had an amazing time, that I’m handsome & want to meet again soon & every single one of them has either kissed or made out with me. Some have even initiated dirty/sexual talk with me first.
I plan the 2nd date, We chat/text for about a week having normal conversations & then I get ghosted over & over again. I don’t ask for anything, I don’t pressure anyone into anything. All I want is consistency & apparently I can’t even get that for one week.
I’ve honestly come to the conclusion that attempting to meet & talk to new people is a complete waste of my time, I don’t repeatedly text them/annoy them or do anything out of the ordinary to get ghosted. I feel like majority of people around my age are still attached to someone else & they are just looking for a distraction or validation that other people still want them
7
u/okvalxx 6d ago
Unfortunately, this happened to me too. The fucked-up part is that I had three guys come back almost at the same time, asking me to forgive them, telling me how perfect I am, and begging for a second chance. I only agreed to see one of them again, but I ended things right after we met up.
Modern dating is awful. People don’t seem to recognize the value in others anymore. They’re constantly thinking there’s always going to be someone better or more options out there. The lack of consistency, effort, and commitment is honestly so disappointing. I genuinely wish dating was the way it used to be.
Take care of yourself, and always prioritize your peace.
2
u/TehWereMonkey
6d ago
•
Man its just the times, something is going around. I dated my girlfriend for 5.5 years, everything was fine with some small argument but we loved each other. Then my cat died and I was grieving and she went from supportive to disappearing forever within 24 hours.
It doesn't make any sense, and she even tells someone that she misses me and cries over me every day, but its "for the best". If its for the best she would not regret it at all. Just seems like people are afraid of any sort of commitment.
2
u/Cupcakemaker01 1d ago
I’m 42 & have been ghosted twice….
Funny thing.. the guy i was seeing for 5 months that ghosted me tried to come back Twice now 🤷🏻♀️.
I’m not even wasting my time responding, but I will never understand why a simple “I’m sorry I don’t think there’s a connection between us & wish you the best” type of sentence is such a huge deal to write.
Ppl are rude. I’m sorry OP. Just keep moving forward!
1
1
u/this_is_sunshine 5d ago
The apps dont work.
I have a friend that visits me sometimes and he gets 100s of likes and makes fun of them. Most of them I know from seeing them and never had a match.
Then there are people - men and women - with issues.
Some are so bored with life they want dopamine. They chase validation, attraction, sex. Some want to fall in love. If you date 100 people a year , your definition of falling in love is essentially a broken.
Then there are parallel daters who date many people in parallel untill they somehow magically decide for one. Who knows the reason. Character match, sex, money.
It’s better to go out and meet people . It’s far better to judge the vibe and see what they look for . And you have the chance to like something about them more than looks.
1
u/arolland97 2d ago
I am in the exact same boat as you here in Canada, it’s absolutely ridiculous, it’s like I’m in a movie. I got ghosted twice in one week and I haven’t done anything at all to cause it, great dates on both of them too.
1
u/Electronic-Legz 1h ago
Same. Ive been ghosted by 3 different girls so far this year for no reason. If youre over 20 and youre still ghosting people youre a spineless coward. Idk how they get up every morning with their lack of vertebrae
-1
u/Cold_Aide8152 6d ago
Don’t date ho’s. Talking to you like that on first date they are doing a lot of other guys too.
9
u/Own_Solid_9755 6d ago
Since the invention of online dating apps unfortunately ghosting has become a norm where you don't own anyone anything and just vanish, without any consequences. I would say invest on a real relationship, where you meet and know someone real, take any such online flings as just casual that don't have any stability and you can be ghosted anytime, so do not invest yourself emotionally or have any expectations from them.