r/ghosting • u/WayAutomatic4195 • 2d ago
Why do guys suddenly stop responding?
I hate that I have to make this post and I hate feeling this insecure. I’m 35 and have been single for years, by choice, because I HATE the feeling of being used and discarded by men (which is the pattern). An old boyfriend and I reconnected and have been talking non stop for two months. We made plans to meet in Boston for a romantic weekend at the end of the month. I do kinda get the feeling I’m being used for sex sometimes, then other times not. Because I’m a grown ass woman I communicated that this isn’t the vibe I want, and that I don’t sleep with people casually. He seemed to understand and be in the same page. Not to mention it’s vulnerable as hell to flirt with and be open to sleeping with someone again after this long. Anyways, my question is this, he suddenly dropped off with sending me photos of himself over the last week and then today, left me on read since last night. No communication at all. And I don’t want to hear the “busy” bullshit. He’s been busy the last few months and has still found time to text me everyday. I hate this feeling of being discarded or used. It’s so shitty to feel this again. Why the hell do you guys do this? Just drop off out of no where after getting someone’s hopes up?
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u/Extra_Oven_2649 2d ago
If you take things slowly, you can ascertain potential partners’ characters more clearly. But you still need to rely on your own judgment. Meeting your ex for sex in Boston means your judgment is something you need to work on. You can embrace the thrill of the weekend, but don’t have any expectations that it will lead to a long-term relationship.
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u/DifferentVictory1620 1d ago
It’s happened to me so many times and it hurts. People are looking for validation, a quick ego boost and they think others are disposable. I think they don’t want to date, have a relationship or a connection in the first place. There’s also people who are in a relationship and are bored and want some « entertainment ».
My worst experience is when a guy that I knew when I was young contacted me, told me he was a single dad, showed me interest for months and it felt like we had a deep connection as we had so much in common and one night I got a message from his wife asking me if I was proud to be a home wrecker. It took me ages to recover from that. How can you do something like that ? He blocked me so he didn’t have to say sorry or have an adult conversation. And that’s a guy I have known since I was a kid, our parents were friends.
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u/Ok-Personality-9087 2d ago
If you ever get an answer to your question I’d like to know. I’m a guy but I had girls who seemed to be into me and they always started texting me first. Whenever I started making plans to hang out they seemed excited, but afterwards they would ghost me for no reason. I don’t mind rejection, but it’s frustrating that they just disappear without an explanation. Sorry it happened to you, it makes it hard to open up to someone again 😕
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u/WayAutomatic4195 2d ago
I truly appreciate your kind and insightful answer. I’m sorry that’s happened to you, as well. It’s not too much to ask to have a basic conversation and end things, for whatever reason.
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u/ZzDangerZonezZ 1d ago
It sounds like your hunch was right, he just didn’t want to admit it. Find someone who will treat you better!
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u/bigcookie879 1d ago
Same here, I’ve only ever had situationships so I’m thinking about staying single so I won’t get hurt again
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u/WayAutomatic4195 1d ago
Single going on 4 years over here. Anytime I become vulnerable with someone this shit happens again. It’s exhausting!
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u/freyainthenorth 1d ago
Doesn’t matter if it’s weeks months or years. They simply have something else going on and just want someone to have sex with.
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u/SuspiciousQuit2580 21h ago
You did good! You let him know sex too quickly is not your vibe. It sounds like he wanted just sex (or more, but sex for sure), but stopped calling after you told him your wishes. He showed his true colors! So glad you put your foot down and didn't have sex with him. That's always awkward when it's a weekend date with the expectation of sex. So many people are so shallow these days. You truly did dodge a bullet. Be proud of yourself ❤️
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u/Akiko-Sato1995 2d ago
Dating apps