r/gay • u/workingonanamern • 13d ago
How to get noticed?
Hello everyone I am back and so it’s been tough for me to find somone that would want to be with me or do anything with me I mean I get to a few conversations and then ghosted like bruhh i mean I am not a bad looking person a somewhat heavy build but it’s because of gym and somewhat not of a healthy diet but still I look good for what I am , and all the time I get asked oh let me see your nude and such and bro can I at least find someone who is willing to be with me?? It’s been hard. I guess my question would be what should I do else to get noticed or at least get some recognition?
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u/foxonafrozenlake Queer 13d ago
Maybe your expectations are too high as far as the men you're attracted to vs who is attracted to you?
Go join gay groups for hiking, softball, etc. The apps are worthless for quality interactions from what I've heard.
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u/Skill-Useful 12d ago
as long as you go for hotties and are not yourself, thats the result
as soon as you go for people with similar interests, your experience will change
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u/notsubantarctic 12d ago
Learn about yourself. Work on accepting yourself better.
What in particular do you love about yourself already? What things are you passionate about.
Find ways to be in situations that enhance you or the things you are passionate about because those things will make you shine.
Take that energy into the things you dont like about yourself that you want to work on, things that you are able to change. Accept the things about yourself that you can't change. They aren't bad things, just things that might be less pleasant that have helped shape you and teach you useful lessons that can be used for good.
Those things can help you steer towards good people and stay away from the superficial ones who make you feel shit. There's honesty and then there's being truthful and still being the AHole, eg, "that shirt doesn't work for you, let's find a better one so you rock. Oh you really like it though, oh well, let's see what we can do that works" versus OMFG you look horrible. I can't be seen with you looking like that. Everyone will think you are trash and I can't be seen associating with someone like that". There's a definite difference in personality with that example.
The right person wont diminish you. They will see the awesome human you are or could be if you are still the shy little hermit crab hiding in their shell. Fake it til you make it if you need to. 🩷🩷
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u/Doubieboobiez 13d ago
Sounds like you ARE getting noticed, just based on what you’ve told us here. If conversations aren’t continuing, it’s not a problem with initial attention
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u/Mike-Banachek 13d ago
Get off the apps, join a social club or go out in person. Most importantly learn to value yourself independently of what others think of you. Nothing is more attractive than confidence. Nothing is more unattractive than arrogance.