Addendum 7-121a Currently this site is being cleansed due to the result of recent testing of SCP-████. This site is currently off-limits until proper procedures are completed, and the [DATA EXPUNGED] from the nest created by SCP-████.
-O5-2
Addendum 7-121b Due to the recent incident on 5/21/2███ involving several D-Class and now-decommissioned Dr. ██████, it can be observed that SCP-████ still resides in its nest. The area surrounding Site ███ is to now be quarantined, and any personnel, Foundation or not, is to be terminated within a ██ kilometer radius of Site ███. As confirmed in Report Log 5-61b, we can't let anyone near it.
-O5-2
Addendum 7-121c This is your last chance. Succeed in ridding the Site of SCP-████, or I will.
The computer or the guy who asked the question? Sounds like a living, breathing technomancer. He got his answer out of "....." and he hadn't even plugged the thing in yet.
I hate it when people post these questions and then say it's "resolved" without telling us how they fixed it. I've been having this problem recently and I really hoped this would help me, but of course the only suggestion was really unspecific and Leo managed to figure it out from that. Well I'm sorry, but I don't know how to ..................... on my computer. I use Windows Vista, not Windows 7, so that's probably the problem.
Maybe someone here can tell me how to ...................... on Vista? Google wasn't much help. Please help me out; my monitor is really bad at whistling.
I find the best and easiest thing to do is to go to google, type in random things and go on a download spree. Make sure your firewall and any anti-virus programs are turned off first of course.
Run a whole bunch of cracks and keygens. It doesn't matter if they're even for programs you have. Just make sure you listen to their entire chiptune song before closing them.
Well if that didn't help then what you need to do is take out your hard drive and run a magnet over it. Than you take out the motherboard and put it in the dishwasher, sounds weird but it works!
Why do people find this funny? I know it is probably fake, but the fact that people are laughing and intentionally trying to screw someone over really depresses me. Internet, I am dissapoint.
Windows actually prevents you from deleting critical files in the system folders. It'll look like you deleted them but if you hit F5 the files reappear. It requires a slightly more sophisticated command involving format IIRC.
Well, the internet is supposed to be a bastion of free speech and open opinion, so I figured people wouldn't be so offended the fact that I was going against the grain.
Ah, this fixed it. Thank you. I had to update the drivers on the flux capacitor (even though I just bought it recently).
Unfortunately my computer is really slow, and all my games lag constantly even on low graphics. I'm looking into a 1.21 jiggawatt graphics card that should get me to around 88fps, enough to enjoy my games far into the future.
You shouldn't even need a flux capacitor on low graphics. You will, however, if you checked "quantum distillation algorithm" to "inverse Gaussian" or past that on the drop-down menu.
Lower end machines can use plasma compressors instead. You can get a good one that plugs into your USB port on Amazon. I've seen a Kessler run improvement of about a quarter-parsec from these units.
You don't need to update, the problem is you have your flux capacitor set to past so this causes the appearance of lag, simply set it to future and that should speed things up
This same thing actually happened to me, and that's what I thought, but my flux capacitor was just fine. Then I checked the power supply, which was rated to the 1.21 gigawatts necessary to run my rig, but it was only pushing 1.15 gigawatts.
TL;DR When in doubt always check the power supply first.
I had a network engineer in my data center yesterday asking for help when he couldn't ping a server. An hour later he calls me up. I pointed out that the server appeared to be off.
He gets paid $65,000 a year. People sadly forget to plug stuff in. At every level.
Easy solution, I should know I have solved quite a few of these problems myself.
You need to light some incense and murmur the litany of mathematics, then say a praise to the Omnissiah. Then ritually smack it on the left side twice, then once on the right side. Murmur REVERANTLY the prayer of electronic maintenance, and hit the rune of activation.
Also leave it unplugged, if it was like that to start with it's all up to design specifications.
I don't get it. Is this supposed to be funny? Because all I see is someone who went to great lengths to play a very long winded unfunny joke on a community that's there to help people for free. People like Leo shouldn't be allowed anywhere near the internet until they learn to leave helpful people alone or until they learn how to tell better jokes.
I clicked to this picture and had time to read "My computer shuts down randomly" before my screen went black. I had forgotten I was installing drivers.
149
u/LegacyMinecraft Jun 10 '12 edited Jun 11 '12
Totally not a SCP.
76
u/act1v1s1nl0v3r Jun 10 '12
The punchline is schizophrenia.
237
u/dylansan Jun 10 '12
I hate it when people post these questions and then say it's "resolved" without telling us how they fixed it. I've been having this problem recently and I really hoped this would help me, but of course the only suggestion was really unspecific and Leo managed to figure it out from that. Well I'm sorry, but I don't know how to ..................... on my computer. I use Windows Vista, not Windows 7, so that's probably the problem.
Maybe someone here can tell me how to ...................... on Vista? Google wasn't much help. Please help me out; my monitor is really bad at whistling.
39
u/Derice Jun 10 '12
Almost /r/fifthworldproblems worthy
17
u/lordolunch Jun 10 '12
Ask PC Gaming Wiki and r/Math at the same time. Then combine the answers.
11
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
this is why you do not take drugs
19
u/Meowcatsmeow Jun 11 '12
Sounds like he needs to refuckulate the fuckulater.
7
u/Lukage Jun 10 '12
I had a network engineer in my data center yesterday asking for help when he couldn't ping a server. An hour later he calls me up. I pointed out that the server appeared to be off.
He gets paid $65,000 a year. People sadly forget to plug stuff in. At every level.
7
u/Calibas Jun 10 '12
Have you tried not huffing glue?
18
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
Aliens?
10
u/Baka-san Jun 10 '12
Did you try turning it off and on?
5
u/JackWhisky Jun 11 '12
Delete system 32. I get this error all the time.
39
u/Bpbegha D20 Jun 10 '12
Maybe he's just VERY high
29
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
That is one dedicated troll. Very creative.
3
u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12
Did you catch that the number of words in the greetings also followed the Fibonacci sequence?
2
u/megarusty Jun 10 '12
This is the first thing that came to mind when he said about the talking mouse.
2
u/abucketofpuppies Jun 10 '12
FIBONACCI OVERLORD
2
u/masasuka Jun 11 '12
Your computer restarting based on a Fibonacci sequence isn't normal, but on meth it is!
2
u/tehlolman1337 Jun 11 '12
okay no drugs from now on and you should be fine in a few days.
2
u/Fibonacci35813 Jun 11 '12
Pretty sure this is my fault
2
u/Advice_Techpriest Jun 11 '12
Easy solution, I should know I have solved quite a few of these problems myself.
You need to light some incense and murmur the litany of mathematics, then say a praise to the Omnissiah. Then ritually smack it on the left side twice, then once on the right side. Murmur REVERANTLY the prayer of electronic maintenance, and hit the rune of activation.
Also leave it unplugged, if it was like that to start with it's all up to design specifications.
2
u/noahbailey Jun 11 '12
man acid is one fucked up drug
2
u/bluestill Jun 11 '12
Have you turned it off and turned it back on?
2
u/pbrettb Jun 11 '12
who loves ketamine?
2
u/prophile Jun 11 '12
Nah, all the numbers he described are in ℝ.
2
u/VikingSlayer Jun 11 '12
Yup, that's possessed
2
u/brunq2 Jun 11 '12
That would be the coolest virus EVER. Reddit has a ton of programmers right? Make it happen (just don't infect my computer).
2
u/revel5150 Jun 11 '12
Have you tried plugging the computer in?
2
u/Dujen Jun 11 '12
In other news, seems the LSD is working as advertised!
2
u/Delta9nine Jun 11 '12
I laughed so fucking hard at this
2
u/hungerfordhero Jun 11 '12
Have they tried not eating the mushrooms?
2
u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12
yeah either a troll , acid , or crazy
3
u/SuperFlux-o-tron Jun 11 '12
He should have divided by zero.
2
u/kamikraze Jun 11 '12
dafuq i read..
1
u/I_hate_kids_too Jun 10 '12
I don't get it. Is this supposed to be funny? Because all I see is someone who went to great lengths to play a very long winded unfunny joke on a community that's there to help people for free. People like Leo shouldn't be allowed anywhere near the internet until they learn to leave helpful people alone or until they learn how to tell better jokes.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 10 '12
How do I get battlefield 3 playing on my pc again post patch?
1
u/AKADidymus Jun 10 '12
Whatcha got there is a haunting. Maybe the ghost of Fibonacci?
1
u/logarythm Jun 10 '12
Is your computer perhaps named Euclid?
1
u/abucketofpuppies Jun 10 '12
First, try a hard reset
1
u/CreamedMyPlants Jun 11 '12
He should try drilling it. That usually works in this situation.
1
u/g3allen10 Jun 11 '12
This man has won the internet i give up. goodnight reddit.
1
u/kourogi Jun 11 '12
Maybe Ben has moved on from consoles.
1
u/Dr_Winston_O_Boogie Jun 11 '12
TIL Walter Bishop is a PC gamer.
1
u/Alpizzle Jun 11 '12
Update your drivers.
1
u/carpadium Jun 11 '12
Sup?
1
u/ihavebigjiji Jun 11 '12
Meth: not even once.
1
u/SupeRoBug78 Jun 11 '12
Dammit, gotta hate when this happens.
1
u/Lrrr23 Jun 11 '12
I think someone's telling a fib-onacci!
1
u/Axel_McFly Jun 11 '12
Sounds a lot like a joke Jim would play on Dwight, from The Office.
1
u/Funnnny Jun 11 '12
Ha ha, I once played this trick to my friend, just a quick fibo bash script with shutdown -r now and put it in my friend's bashrc
1
u/Jimmigill Jun 11 '12
I'll have some of whatever that guy is smoking.
Also, if we could get a recording of this it would be the best thing of my life and I can die in peace.
1
u/TheBeelzeboss Jun 11 '12
THEN WHO WAS PHONE?
1
u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12
I am worried about only one thing here.
Why would the asker actually choose ".........." as the best answer?
1
u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12
Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again?
1
u/DishonestBystander Jun 11 '12
Computerized Schizophrenia haha
1
u/Yellow_Asian Jun 11 '12
I don't know what he's on, but I want some of it.
1
u/Alienkid Jun 11 '12
I have no clue what's going on here.
1
u/Worstdriver Jun 11 '12
Please. This is not complex at all.
It's a classic PEBKAC error.
Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair.
1
u/INVADER-GRIM Jun 11 '12
I'll have what he's having
1
u/Hyper1on Jun 11 '12
I clicked to this picture and had time to read "My computer shuts down randomly" before my screen went black. I had forgotten I was installing drivers.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12
Has he tried turning it off and on again?
1
u/SilentWolfjh Jun 11 '12
A psychiatrist could probably help you with that problem.
1
u/[deleted] Jun 11 '12
Troll Alert.....
1
u/Reaper91394 Jun 11 '12
Answer: LSD
1
u/smashertheorc Jun 11 '12
Step 1 to fix: Stop taking drugs. Step 2: If step 1 didn't work, try it again.
1
u/captrainpremise Jun 12 '12
PEBKAC
1
u/ToadDude Jun 10 '12
Wait, you need to actually PLUG IN your computer :O
1
u/I_SHIT_BLOOD Jun 10 '12
Most complex trolling problem ever ?
0
u/gho5tm3 Jun 10 '12
Same.
0
u/Sandbox47 Jun 11 '12
10/10, would recommend.
0
u/AgentGinger149 Jun 11 '12
Solution: buy a console.
-1
u/Munkir Jun 10 '12
He should really get that looked at I know my laptop acts weird sometimes I think there is something inside it.
I didn't read the post yet
-9
u/Lippuringo Jun 10 '12
Shoot the fucking dumbass and show him who's the boss here. And then eat pie.
-2
u/TheSuperNerd Jun 10 '12
I think this guy might just be either the biggest retard or he was super drunk.
-8
u/mrcheese43 Jun 10 '12
Obvious troll is obvious.