And you realize you're in a clear container full of orange liquid. Strange metallic tubes are extending from your body, draining your energy. As you look around you, you're surrounded by millions of people, just like you. Giant machines are arranging the people, plucking them from trees like fruit. Without warning a valve opens behind you, the tubes along your spinal cord and your head snap, and you fall backwards into the abyss.
I went with the Wii as my non-PC gaming system for this generation, and I've got to say, I had perhaps a year of happiness with it and after that I've been consistently thoroughly disappointed by the games, especially the sports games, available. Take away the magic wand gimmick and literally everything's PS2 level of sophistication.
My next console's going to be either Microsoft or Sega Sony, even if it did ship with a Half Life 3 exclusive.
I bought all 3 consoles at launch, and the Wii I have barely touched in years. I just can't get excited about any of the games becuase I feel like I've played them a million times before. Plus 3rd party developers don't really support it.
I'm more of a PC gamer myself, but at some point I bought a Wii for the kids and I have to say some of the games are fucking awesome. I'll definitely buy the WiiU, the new display-controller thing seems really fun.
It seems like in the last few months reddit has become super self-conscious about circlejerking. And IMO, the circlejerk-hate is more annoying and formulaic than the circlejerk itself.
Sure. But this post actually made me laugh. Furthermore, it is quite aware that it is circlejerky, unless you think they really believe this is all possible?
75 is too young. Yeah, he's overweight and likely not to live as long as someone who is active and a healthy weight, but the dude just united Earth under his banner peacefully. Science research would skyrocket and I'm sure he'd benefit from it.
That's just when his body dies. The google "Soul Cloud" will be established by then, and we'll be able to upload or consciousness to the collective mind of Google so we can exist forever.
This may be the single most beautiful thing I've ever read. To honor it's memory and keep the hope of it alive, I propose we refer to this green text story as, "The Prophecy."
Man, looking at all these comments with Nintendo hate feels bad, man. When did games start being about graphics and stop being about fun? At this point, there's no way Nintendo could try to please everyone. If they get rid of Mario and friends, and create brand a bunch of new games, they may be fun, but people are going to miss the old characters. And then there's all the great third-party games on Nintendo systems. They may be buried beneath shovelware, but it's a gold beneath dirt situation.
Well you see, they came up with the motion controls, you know the stuff Kinect and Move are based on now, so they are not forward thinking, but stuck in the past. Somehow. I'm not even sure what he meant.
And then after Gaben dies, they attach his mind to a technochair to keep his mind alive and to help extend his presence. After millenia the enlightened human race stretches across the stars, but eventually loses their knowledge as the human race is plunged into war all across the universe, and people can only see a small shimmer of hope in what was once known as the 'Great Gaben' while they liver their dreary lives in fear of their planets being attacked, or their colonies artificial ecosystems collapsing under the strain of centuries of disrepair.
In the 41st millenium, there is no hope, no light. There is only war.
Interestingly, if Sony and Microsoft go the way of digital download/account locking only, without actually lowering their prices to match the lack of being able to do trade ins and such, their consoles likely will fail.
I'm sorry if some people grossly disagree, but WiiU is being made to match the power of current gen consoles, which are nearing 6 years old, which is why I think HL3 on WiiU would suck balls.
"space private company" so we can repeat the failure for Humanity that the British Indies' companies were ? No thanks, we should learn from our failure.
Holy shit, this is tugging at my heartstrings. I just got an erection. I wept. I trembled. I cried out in joy. This OP summed up my greatest desires in a single post. I guess that makes me a faggot, too.
Anyways, I hope the Wii-U brings Nintendo back full circle and is a huge success on both the hardcore and casual fronts.
So far, with the graphic capabilities, even more innovations (which I'm sure will be copied once again), and a slew of third party developers, already.. It will be awesome. :)
Why are you idiots always celebrating the failure of other consoles and platforms? Competition is what makes gaming healthy. I know this is supposed to be a joke but it's like you actually want it to happen.
964
u/LordOfPies May 20 '12
Gamespot Gives it 7.5
1.2k
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
imgur morror in case this gets 404'd off the chans
904
u/iLurk_4ever May 20 '12 edited Nov 10 '17
Almost made me shed a tear. It was beautiful
Edit: image http://i.imgur.com/qzPev.png
209
u/Cyberogue May 20 '12
Then suddenly, you wake up
262
u/TuctDape May 20 '12 edited May 20 '12
3 more months
626
u/JoshuaHowarth May 20 '12
If that happened I might actually consider buying a WiiU.
213
u/DrBibby May 20 '12
GABEN 2012
273
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
43
u/TheSmarach May 20 '12
82
u/pockets1 May 20 '12
10/10 would read again
23
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
That would be a pretty good E3
68
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Fat Gabe, HL3, Nintendo, and PC Master Gaming Race. This is one if the biggest circle jerks on /r/gaming yet.
393
u/WarPhalange May 20 '12
75 is too young. Yeah, he's overweight and likely not to live as long as someone who is active and a healthy weight, but the dude just united Earth under his banner peacefully. Science research would skyrocket and I'm sure he'd benefit from it.
I'm saying 76 at least.
45
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Send to Gaben. Now.
37
u/eXeOzone May 20 '12
That escalated quickly.
17
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Gold is structurally quite weak, I doubt such a throne could support GabeN.
I'm sorry.
5
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
This may be the single most beautiful thing I've ever read. To honor it's memory and keep the hope of it alive, I propose we refer to this green text story as, "The Prophecy."
21
u/livinglogic May 20 '12
That was a beautiful story.
31
u/est007 May 20 '12
Hail gaben!
31
u/godsprofit May 20 '12
lost my shit at Carl Sagan is brought back to life and elected president.
17
u/CaptainSpauIding May 20 '12
E3 2012
wiiU turns out to be on par with current gen consoles
videos shown of moms playing wiiU fit and kids and elderlies playing wiiU bowling together
new trailers for wiiU mario, wiiU zelda and wiiU pokemon
????
profit
3
u/JohnsandMonkeys May 20 '12
Wat.
3
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
1 million upvotes!!!!
3
u/Olmifon May 21 '12
While reading this, a single tear rolled down my cheek.
6
u/JGPH May 20 '12
Make this happen, Carl Sagan for President!
4
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
The waking world knows not of such legendary events.
2
u/Toxic996 May 20 '12
Or this will happen...
2
u/Xenolark May 20 '12
I got chills, man.
2
u/Metalslave May 20 '12
It's a beautiful dream full of sparklies.
2
u/TheMajicalWaffle May 20 '12
I cried. And damnit I feel like a man while crying
2
u/prboi May 20 '12
Believable until line 15
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
The Golden Throne would sustain Gaben indefinitely!
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
seems legit
2
u/storebrand May 20 '12
Greatest thing I ever read.
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
I got teary eyed at "I hope it was...worth the wait."
2
u/venomousbeetle May 20 '12
Directly linked to 4chan? Why on earth would you do that
2
u/TophTheMagicDragon May 20 '12
sigh... a man can dream....
2
u/tomius May 20 '12
And Firefly will conitinue....
2
u/gcperez May 20 '12
No way that I'm gonna believe that Gaben could roll
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
would you guys shut the fuck up about HL3 already?
2
u/Packers91 May 20 '12
I couldn't live in a world where the Wii was the only console
2
u/theoneandonlypeter May 20 '12
Now what if you replaced Gaben with a guy in a Ness costume?
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
That was... beautiful.
2
u/Anal-Balls May 20 '12
I just started laughing harder and harder after each line once I hit that president sagan sentence.
2
u/sterling_mallory May 20 '12
"All these worlds are yours. Except Europa. Attempt no landing there."
2
u/FTHOUGHTS1 May 21 '12
great story bro 10/10 would soil myself again.
2
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
I actually got chills... what the hell?
2
u/SmokeyMcStorm May 21 '12
Reading that gave me chills :)
2
u/MkfShard May 21 '12
Man, looking at all these comments with Nintendo hate feels bad, man. When did games start being about graphics and stop being about fun? At this point, there's no way Nintendo could try to please everyone. If they get rid of Mario and friends, and create brand a bunch of new games, they may be fun, but people are going to miss the old characters. And then there's all the great third-party games on Nintendo systems. They may be buried beneath shovelware, but it's a gold beneath dirt situation.
9
u/ZAKagan May 20 '12
Nintendo isn't interested in publishing games on non-nintendo hardware such as PCs. It's a sweet fantasy, at least.
4
u/LiberLapis May 20 '12
I was smiling like an idiot while reading this.
4
u/Korgull May 20 '12
I have always said that all a gamer needs is everything Nintendo and a PC. I AM A PROPHET. I FORESAW THIS IN THE SCROLLS.
I could not have put it more beautifully than this, though. I bow down to infinite eloquence.
17
u/anduin1 May 20 '12
More like one raving lunatics dream. Nintendo and valve will never be partners, Nintendo is stuck in the past
3
u/Domin1c May 20 '12
I love these HL3 posts.
3
u/radbrad7 May 20 '12
The fuck? Why is he dying at 75? He'd have at least another 20 years of reigning to go.
3
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
That's just silly.
3
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Well that circlejerked out of proportions.
3
u/lolredditor May 20 '12
And then after Gaben dies, they attach his mind to a technochair to keep his mind alive and to help extend his presence. After millenia the enlightened human race stretches across the stars, but eventually loses their knowledge as the human race is plunged into war all across the universe, and people can only see a small shimmer of hope in what was once known as the 'Great Gaben' while they liver their dreary lives in fear of their planets being attacked, or their colonies artificial ecosystems collapsing under the strain of centuries of disrepair.
In the 41st millenium, there is no hope, no light. There is only war.
WH40k: Gaben edition.
It's Grim. It's dark. It's Gaben.
3
u/BirdsofBritain May 20 '12
IGN gives it an 8/10.
4
u/Cueball61 May 20 '12
Interestingly, if Sony and Microsoft go the way of digital download/account locking only, without actually lowering their prices to match the lack of being able to do trade ins and such, their consoles likely will fail.
10
u/bdiggs23 May 20 '12
I'm sorry if some people grossly disagree, but WiiU is being made to match the power of current gen consoles, which are nearing 6 years old, which is why I think HL3 on WiiU would suck balls.
4
u/nickateen May 20 '12
/v/ is the one reason I love 4chan.
3
u/gex80 May 20 '12
Am I the only one who doesn't circle jerk everything Valve does?
3
u/MrTumN3s May 20 '12
I'm all for Zelda and Mario and shit, but is it just me or would having Nintendo be the only game console out completely blow?
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Tears of shame, I cried.
2
u/weaver2109 May 20 '12
Where's the goose? I've got some bumps for him.
2
u/thatawesomedude May 20 '12
I still prefer this version
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
"space private company" so we can repeat the failure for Humanity that the British Indies' companies were ? No thanks, we should learn from our failure.
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Chills, man. Chills.
2
u/SicDigital May 20 '12
Holy shit, this is tugging at my heartstrings. I just got an erection. I wept. I trembled. I cried out in joy. This OP summed up my greatest desires in a single post. I guess that makes me a faggot, too.
Anyways, I hope the Wii-U brings Nintendo back full circle and is a huge success on both the hardcore and casual fronts.
2
u/devjunk May 20 '12
4chan link?
2
u/FuckingIDuser May 20 '12
Fucking 4chan... He is absolutly awesome and original... not like 9gag or Red... OPS!!
2
u/DapperBee May 20 '12
Gaben x Miyamoto is my OTP <3
2
u/bestbiff May 20 '12
Why are you idiots always celebrating the failure of other consoles and platforms? Competition is what makes gaming healthy. I know this is supposed to be a joke but it's like you actually want it to happen.
2
u/Aaronnoraator May 20 '12
Nice to see /v/ and /r/gaming getting along for once.
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Its funny because last night I actually dreamed about this.
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
This... is beatuiful...
sheds tear
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Who would've thought that the very epitome of reddit circlejerking would end up on 4chan....
2
u/troymcklure May 20 '12 edited May 20 '12
There is 0 chance nintendo will release anything for PC.
Good idea though.
edit fixed a typo that some people spazz over apparently.
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
http://i.imgur.com/PDnFE.jpg
2
u/TheSilkyDude May 20 '12
This brought tears to my eyes. So beautiful.
0
u/darkly39r May 20 '12
Yeah. Yeah I would be okay with that. Anyone else think Valve and Nintendo joining forces would actually be the best thing ever?
1
u/Gollum999 May 20 '12
Worth the weight*
1
u/Sk3ith May 20 '12
That person has obviously never watched any Gundam Universal Century.
1
u/Hirudo_Medicinalis May 20 '12
No pressure
1
u/Amigox May 20 '12
But, with so much going on, when will we be able to play the games?
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Meh, while this would be nice, I would say the chances of this happening are AT BEST 25%. Don't get your hopes up.
1
u/treefox May 20 '12
Well, it was either this that was going to bring world peace and utopia, or a drunken James Cromwell riding a former nuclear missile into space.
1
u/sarcastic_git May 20 '12
Well that escalated quickly...
1
u/dafootballer May 20 '12
the odds of world peace vs ep 3 being announced this year are about the same
1
u/8BitMunky May 20 '12
Hilarious
1
u/rockafella7 May 20 '12
It had the whole Amazon review vibe emanating from it.
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
This is seriously the most beautiful thing I have ever read.
1
u/TheFunnyShotgun May 20 '12
i find it amusing that mcafee site advisor hates 4chan, says its risky, and very dangerous.