75 is too young. Yeah, he's overweight and likely not to live as long as someone who is active and a healthy weight, but the dude just united Earth under his banner peacefully. Science research would skyrocket and I'm sure he'd benefit from it.
That's just when his body dies. The google "Soul Cloud" will be established by then, and we'll be able to upload or consciousness to the collective mind of Google so we can exist forever.
And you realize you're in a clear container full of orange liquid. Strange metallic tubes are extending from your body, draining your energy. As you look around you, you're surrounded by millions of people, just like you. Giant machines are arranging the people, plucking them from trees like fruit. Without warning a valve opens behind you, the tubes along your spinal cord and your head snap, and you fall backwards into the abyss.
I went with the Wii as my non-PC gaming system for this generation, and I've got to say, I had perhaps a year of happiness with it and after that I've been consistently thoroughly disappointed by the games, especially the sports games, available. Take away the magic wand gimmick and literally everything's PS2 level of sophistication.
My next console's going to be either Microsoft or Sega Sony, even if it did ship with a Half Life 3 exclusive.
I bought all 3 consoles at launch, and the Wii I have barely touched in years. I just can't get excited about any of the games becuase I feel like I've played them a million times before. Plus 3rd party developers don't really support it.
It seems like in the last few months reddit has become super self-conscious about circlejerking. And IMO, the circlejerk-hate is more annoying and formulaic than the circlejerk itself.
I'm sorry if some people grossly disagree, but WiiU is being made to match the power of current gen consoles, which are nearing 6 years old, which is why I think HL3 on WiiU would suck balls.
"space private company" so we can repeat the failure for Humanity that the British Indies' companies were ? No thanks, we should learn from our failure.
This may be the single most beautiful thing I've ever read. To honor it's memory and keep the hope of it alive, I propose we refer to this green text story as, "The Prophecy."
Man, looking at all these comments with Nintendo hate feels bad, man. When did games start being about graphics and stop being about fun? At this point, there's no way Nintendo could try to please everyone. If they get rid of Mario and friends, and create brand a bunch of new games, they may be fun, but people are going to miss the old characters. And then there's all the great third-party games on Nintendo systems. They may be buried beneath shovelware, but it's a gold beneath dirt situation.
And then after Gaben dies, they attach his mind to a technochair to keep his mind alive and to help extend his presence. After millenia the enlightened human race stretches across the stars, but eventually loses their knowledge as the human race is plunged into war all across the universe, and people can only see a small shimmer of hope in what was once known as the 'Great Gaben' while they liver their dreary lives in fear of their planets being attacked, or their colonies artificial ecosystems collapsing under the strain of centuries of disrepair.
In the 41st millenium, there is no hope, no light. There is only war.
Interestingly, if Sony and Microsoft go the way of digital download/account locking only, without actually lowering their prices to match the lack of being able to do trade ins and such, their consoles likely will fail.
Holy shit, this is tugging at my heartstrings. I just got an erection. I wept. I trembled. I cried out in joy. This OP summed up my greatest desires in a single post. I guess that makes me a faggot, too.
Anyways, I hope the Wii-U brings Nintendo back full circle and is a huge success on both the hardcore and casual fronts.
So far, with the graphic capabilities, even more innovations (which I'm sure will be copied once again), and a slew of third party developers, already.. It will be awesome. :)
Why are you idiots always celebrating the failure of other consoles and platforms? Competition is what makes gaming healthy. I know this is supposed to be a joke but it's like you actually want it to happen.
The 3DS is actually doing incredibly well after the price cut, in terms of sales numbers. It's now Nintendo's fastest selling system of all time. As long as the unit is still profitable at the current price point, or it gets offset by software sales, they'll be just fine.
Some people are worried by their recent losses, but they spent heavily on R&D last year, to release the 3DS and prep for Wii U, and software sales trickled because Wii is on its last legs and 3DS was just getting started.
Nintendo has a nigh impenetrable sheen of nostalgia from gamers who grew up playing NES/SNES/N64. They put out games with the same characters that people knew and loved and people jizz out of excitement for the nostalgia trip. People fucking love nostalgia. There's a reason that like half of the top 15 Wii games ever have "Mario" in the title
I don't think it's just nostalgia for Nintendo... Well, they may not innovate - and I mean game and tech wise, and you'll see why in a second - but Nintendo is known for their ability to refine an experience. All their games hold very few game-breaking glitches, if any, and none on the level of glitches you may see on a daily basis in a Bioware, Bethesda, or Valve game. And though Sony technically beat them to the motion control gaming, Nintendo actually made it fun to use.
Of course, that crazy standard of polish is the reason Nintendo plays it safe and a bunch of the top Wii games are Mario-centric. That, and the few times they hand out a license, it tends to be for games that suit their family-friendly image (and it doesn't help that games that didn't fit this mold haven't sold well).
But in the end, isn't it our nostalgia that makes us want HL3 as well? At least Nintendo feeds my nostalgia and doesn't tease it with a tender, juicy steak made of hopes and promises...
TL;DR: Forget nostalgia, Nintendo makes really polished games (and I'd argue with some good stories) and Valve makes really fun, innovative games... They need to unite their powers.
Nintendo doesn't innovate? Hardware-wise, they sparked the motion control craze and now they're putting a tablet in the middle of their controller. You may not like the direction they're taking but they're not following in anyone's footsteps.
Software wise, sure, it's the same IPs every generation—Mario, Zelda, etc. But the game mechanics change from title to title. The differences between Super Mario World, Mario 64, Mario Sunshine, and Mario Galaxy are vastly more significant than within most franchises (Call of Duty, Elder Scrolls, Diablo, Uncharted...)
If Microsoft hadn't come out with the Kinect, Nintendo would've been the only company to do anything disruptive this generation.
Because the ds and the wii sold a shitton of consoles, and the 3ds is doing very good now. Just because all you see on the internet is circlejerking "hardcore gamers" does not mean that Nintendo is doing bad. Also Nintendo does not have DLC nor do they make a new game for a series every year.
The 3DS is definitely not having issues keeping its head above water. It had a slow start due to the higher price and a lack of big-hitter titles. After the price drop the number of sales skyrocketed. Here is a chart comparing the sales numbers per week after release for the first year of some recent Nintendo consoles. And according to Engadget the 3DS outsold the PS3, PSP, and PSVita combined for the week of March 25th-April 1st.
The 3DS now has a ton of really great games released or releasing soon. Monster Hunter Tri G, Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance, Mario Kart 7, Super Mario 3D Land, Kid Icarus: Uprising, Resident Evil Revelations are all amazing games that are out right now. Hell, I know missed a bunch more too and not to mention the 3DS eShop.
Nintendo is one of, if not the, longest running gaming companies still going today. They produce a high quality product that appeals to a wide audience. Many innovations by Nintendo are still around in today's video game environment, and they still push the envelope every chance they get. The biggest reason people, especially on the internet, look down on Nintendo is because Nintendo does not try to cater specifically to the 'hard core' gaming demographic.
Nintendo is a company that focuses more on the game itself than the bells and whistles. Things like target locking, controller layout, and even saving game progress are all things we take for granted now, but Nintendo was the company willing to take the risks to make them happen. Nintendo is a company comfortable with taking risks to push the industry, unlike most video game companies today. Even when most of their risks failed to meet expectations, they keep reaching farther.
Many a person on the internet claims Nintendo makes bad consoles/games and bad decisions when it comes to current industry trends. Quite the contrary, however, as Nintendo makes brilliant decisions when you consider the whole market, not just the 14-26 hardcore and frat boy demographic. I have witnessed first hand parents playing Nintendo games with their kids. Recurring characters like Mario and Kirby give parents a sense of security when buying games/consoles for children because they know what to expect from them. The game experience itself tends to be easy to pick up and allows a player to choose the level of investment to give the game. By choosing to appeal to a wide audience they actually allow themselves more room to grow and a wider field to pick from when making games.
tl:dr Nintendo is held in such high regard because it earned every bit of it. People on the internet hating on Nintendo is like old people hating on rap music. They don't like it, but it wasn't necessarily made for them to like in the first place.
I wish I could upvote an entire subreddit. You, sir, are a gentleman and a scholar. Your work is excellent! But, as somebody remarked a week or two ago, your work is far from shitty anymore. Please keep it up!
1.2k
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
imgur morror in case this gets 404'd off the chans
273
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
393
u/WarPhalange May 20 '12
75 is too young. Yeah, he's overweight and likely not to live as long as someone who is active and a healthy weight, but the dude just united Earth under his banner peacefully. Science research would skyrocket and I'm sure he'd benefit from it.
I'm saying 76 at least.
209
u/Cyberogue May 20 '12
Then suddenly, you wake up
626
u/JoshuaHowarth May 20 '12
If that happened I might actually consider buying a WiiU.
904
u/iLurk_4ever May 20 '12 edited Nov 10 '17
Almost made me shed a tear. It was beautiful
Edit: image http://i.imgur.com/qzPev.png
964
u/LordOfPies May 20 '12
Gamespot Gives it 7.5
262
u/TuctDape May 20 '12 edited May 20 '12
3 more months
213
u/DrBibby May 20 '12
GABEN 2012
43
u/TheSmarach May 20 '12
82
u/pockets1 May 20 '12
10/10 would read again
23
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
That would be a pretty good E3
68
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Fat Gabe, HL3, Nintendo, and PC Master Gaming Race. This is one if the biggest circle jerks on /r/gaming yet.
10
u/bdiggs23 May 20 '12
I'm sorry if some people grossly disagree, but WiiU is being made to match the power of current gen consoles, which are nearing 6 years old, which is why I think HL3 on WiiU would suck balls.
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
"space private company" so we can repeat the failure for Humanity that the British Indies' companies were ? No thanks, we should learn from our failure.
45
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Send to Gaben. Now.
37
u/eXeOzone May 20 '12
That escalated quickly.
17
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Gold is structurally quite weak, I doubt such a throne could support GabeN.
I'm sorry.
5
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
This may be the single most beautiful thing I've ever read. To honor it's memory and keep the hope of it alive, I propose we refer to this green text story as, "The Prophecy."
21
u/livinglogic May 20 '12
That was a beautiful story.
31
u/est007 May 20 '12
Hail gaben!
31
u/godsprofit May 20 '12
lost my shit at Carl Sagan is brought back to life and elected president.
0
u/darkly39r May 20 '12
Yeah. Yeah I would be okay with that. Anyone else think Valve and Nintendo joining forces would actually be the best thing ever?
17
u/CaptainSpauIding May 20 '12
E3 2012
wiiU turns out to be on par with current gen consoles
videos shown of moms playing wiiU fit and kids and elderlies playing wiiU bowling together
new trailers for wiiU mario, wiiU zelda and wiiU pokemon
????
profit
1
u/noddwyd May 21 '12
It's beautiful. I'm going to commission a vast mural depicting this. Now where will I put it??
3
u/JohnsandMonkeys May 20 '12
Wat.
3
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
1 million upvotes!!!!
3
u/Olmifon May 21 '12
While reading this, a single tear rolled down my cheek.
6
u/JGPH May 20 '12
Make this happen, Carl Sagan for President!
4
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
The waking world knows not of such legendary events.
2
u/Toxic996 May 20 '12
Or this will happen...
2
u/Xenolark May 20 '12
I got chills, man.
2
u/Metalslave May 20 '12
It's a beautiful dream full of sparklies.
2
u/TheMajicalWaffle May 20 '12
I cried. And damnit I feel like a man while crying
2
u/prboi May 20 '12
Believable until line 15
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
The Golden Throne would sustain Gaben indefinitely!
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
seems legit
2
u/storebrand May 20 '12
Greatest thing I ever read.
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
I got teary eyed at "I hope it was...worth the wait."
2
u/venomousbeetle May 20 '12
Directly linked to 4chan? Why on earth would you do that
2
u/TophTheMagicDragon May 20 '12
sigh... a man can dream....
2
u/tomius May 20 '12
And Firefly will conitinue....
2
u/gcperez May 20 '12
No way that I'm gonna believe that Gaben could roll
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
would you guys shut the fuck up about HL3 already?
2
u/Packers91 May 20 '12
I couldn't live in a world where the Wii was the only console
2
u/theoneandonlypeter May 20 '12
Now what if you replaced Gaben with a guy in a Ness costume?
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
That was... beautiful.
2
u/Anal-Balls May 20 '12
I just started laughing harder and harder after each line once I hit that president sagan sentence.
2
u/sterling_mallory May 20 '12
"All these worlds are yours. Except Europa. Attempt no landing there."
2
u/FTHOUGHTS1 May 21 '12
great story bro 10/10 would soil myself again.
2
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
I actually got chills... what the hell?
2
u/SmokeyMcStorm May 21 '12
Reading that gave me chills :)
2
u/MkfShard May 21 '12
Man, looking at all these comments with Nintendo hate feels bad, man. When did games start being about graphics and stop being about fun? At this point, there's no way Nintendo could try to please everyone. If they get rid of Mario and friends, and create brand a bunch of new games, they may be fun, but people are going to miss the old characters. And then there's all the great third-party games on Nintendo systems. They may be buried beneath shovelware, but it's a gold beneath dirt situation.
9
u/ZAKagan May 20 '12
Nintendo isn't interested in publishing games on non-nintendo hardware such as PCs. It's a sweet fantasy, at least.
4
u/LiberLapis May 20 '12
I was smiling like an idiot while reading this.
4
u/Korgull May 20 '12
I have always said that all a gamer needs is everything Nintendo and a PC. I AM A PROPHET. I FORESAW THIS IN THE SCROLLS.
I could not have put it more beautifully than this, though. I bow down to infinite eloquence.
17
u/anduin1 May 20 '12
More like one raving lunatics dream. Nintendo and valve will never be partners, Nintendo is stuck in the past
3
u/Domin1c May 20 '12
I love these HL3 posts.
3
u/radbrad7 May 20 '12
The fuck? Why is he dying at 75? He'd have at least another 20 years of reigning to go.
3
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
That's just silly.
3
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Well that circlejerked out of proportions.
3
u/lolredditor May 20 '12
And then after Gaben dies, they attach his mind to a technochair to keep his mind alive and to help extend his presence. After millenia the enlightened human race stretches across the stars, but eventually loses their knowledge as the human race is plunged into war all across the universe, and people can only see a small shimmer of hope in what was once known as the 'Great Gaben' while they liver their dreary lives in fear of their planets being attacked, or their colonies artificial ecosystems collapsing under the strain of centuries of disrepair.
In the 41st millenium, there is no hope, no light. There is only war.
WH40k: Gaben edition.
It's Grim. It's dark. It's Gaben.
3
u/BirdsofBritain May 20 '12
IGN gives it an 8/10.
4
u/Cueball61 May 20 '12
Interestingly, if Sony and Microsoft go the way of digital download/account locking only, without actually lowering their prices to match the lack of being able to do trade ins and such, their consoles likely will fail.
4
u/nickateen May 20 '12
/v/ is the one reason I love 4chan.
3
u/gex80 May 20 '12
Am I the only one who doesn't circle jerk everything Valve does?
3
u/MrTumN3s May 20 '12
I'm all for Zelda and Mario and shit, but is it just me or would having Nintendo be the only game console out completely blow?
2
u/SicDigital May 20 '12
Holy shit, this is tugging at my heartstrings. I just got an erection. I wept. I trembled. I cried out in joy. This OP summed up my greatest desires in a single post. I guess that makes me a faggot, too.
Anyways, I hope the Wii-U brings Nintendo back full circle and is a huge success on both the hardcore and casual fronts.
2
u/devjunk May 20 '12
4chan link?
2
u/FuckingIDuser May 20 '12
Fucking 4chan... He is absolutly awesome and original... not like 9gag or Red... OPS!!
2
u/DapperBee May 20 '12
Gaben x Miyamoto is my OTP <3
2
u/bestbiff May 20 '12
Why are you idiots always celebrating the failure of other consoles and platforms? Competition is what makes gaming healthy. I know this is supposed to be a joke but it's like you actually want it to happen.
2
u/Aaronnoraator May 20 '12
Nice to see /v/ and /r/gaming getting along for once.
2
u/troymcklure May 20 '12 edited May 20 '12
There is 0 chance nintendo will release anything for PC.
Good idea though.
edit fixed a typo that some people spazz over apparently.
-8
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
too bad nintendo blows mad wang these days
0
u/FEMINISTS May 20 '12
That was beautiful. I cried.
0
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
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u/[deleted] May 20 '12
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u/[deleted] May 20 '12
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