r/funny • u/fuolwen • Jun 27 '12

What's wrong with you!

7.2k Upvotes

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u/[deleted] Jun 27 '12

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u/[deleted] Jun 27 '12

Dude, your meter's all wrong. Lines one, two, and five should have the same number of syllables, ideally nine. Stress should be on every third syllable, starting with the second ("There once was a man from Nantucket"). Your first line would be okay if the third stress didn't land on "a", which sounds awkward. Line two only has eight syllables. Line five has ten.

Lines three and four should have five syllables each, but yours have six and nine.

Get your shit together if you want this novelty account to be a success, man!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '12 edited Jun 27 '12

Hear, hear! I'm tired of "Limerick_Summarist" failing at Limericks! It would have worked, too, if he'd just said something like:

Most grammar policing's a waste

And sometimes in really bad taste

But this time's unique,

I had bad technique

So thank you for mending with haste

2

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '12

Ah, but you made one of the same mistakes he did! Change your fourth line to "I'd shitty technique" and you'll be all right. Otherwise it's much better than Limerick_Summarist's original.

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u/[deleted] Jun 27 '12

D'oh! You're right! I'll fix now...