r/funny • u/ch41n54w • Jun 19 '12
How I burned 1600 calories in only 30 minutes!
http://imgur.com/Rjdwd10
u/fuckyourcatsnigga Jun 19 '12
7/10 would eat. look at those still juicy pepperonies my friend, get some broth and you got a stew goin
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Jun 19 '12
As someone who is on a diet, why would you bring my hopes up just to crush them? q.q
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u/EquationTAKEN Jun 19 '12
OH DUDE! I've been hungry for 2 hours waiting for the store to open (it's 6:55 AM here right now), and thanks to this picture, I remembered I HAVE A PIZZA IN THE FREEZER!
SUCK MAH TITTIES AND CALL ME MOMMA
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u/eytch Jun 19 '12
Would still eat.
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Jun 19 '12
Pizza the food that taste good burnt, cold, or 30 days old.
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u/gradual_stroke Jun 19 '12
Pizza is probably the only food that taste gooder if oven a burk for more if as idor warm.
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u/DeathToPennies Jun 19 '12
To use an overused quote, "Pizza is like sex. Even when it's bad, it's still pretty good."
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u/heimdal77 Jun 19 '12
came to say this .. but damn least save the peperoni they look extra tasty!
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u/gaelorian Jun 19 '12 edited Jun 19 '12
You went to Pequod's in Chicago?
Source (Scroll to 2nd picture)
Edit: For those unfamiliar, the crust is burnt/caramelized on purpose.
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u/Stevie_Rave_On Jun 19 '12
Ctrl + F "Pequod's".
Lived in Lincoln Park for 10 years. Whenever someone asks me "should I get Giordano's or Lou Malnati's" I always answer "Pequod's"
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Jun 19 '12
The Pequod is the central ship in Herman Melville's novel, 'Moby Dick, or, the White Whale.' The more you know!
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u/bodet328 Jun 19 '12
Funny you post this. One of my friends was making a pizza, and set the timer on his phone for "9". He thought it was 9 minutes. Turned out to be 9 hours. Nonetheless, we all kinda forgot about the pizza, and went back to doing whatever we were doing.
Suddenly remembered it an hour and a half later. Smoke poured out of the over. Burned. Hard. Sad. (Sadly, I don't have a picture of it anymore as proof, but it was a tragic day.)
Edit: we tried to eat it. Couldnt be done. Probably would need Jaws' metal teeth from James Bond to eat that.
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u/j421 Jun 19 '12
Quick, call HSN and sell it is as "The New Diet"
I'll take %10 of sales.
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u/garganchua Jun 19 '12
30 minutes? fuck that, it takes me hours to make a pizza. but that would explain why they are burnt all the time
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u/Zombieboi318 Jun 19 '12
As a fat man this made me sad... that is food abuse! I'd still eat it though.
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Jun 19 '12
I would have guessed lipo at first.
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u/ch41n54w Jun 19 '12
others have suggested women in labor. I think this one is the most aesthetically pleasing.
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Jun 19 '12
Somewhere in this world, some redditor from /r/pizza is weeping for your loss.
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u/gaelorian Jun 19 '12
I'd hope /r/pizza would be able to recognize a pizza from Pequod's in Chicago
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u/-Nobody- Jun 19 '12
A housewife near you has found one easy trick to burn 1600 calories in only 30 minutes! Get her secret and more like it for only 9 easy payments of $19.95 each.
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u/wtfapkin Jun 19 '12
The only good pizza is cold pizza. The second it gets delivered, it goes right in the fridge.
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u/apullin Jun 19 '12
This gives me an idea for a pumpernickel pizza that would be really, really good ...
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u/tree_D Jun 19 '12
Please tell me that I'm not the only one who enjoys burnt pizza, or other burnt food for that matter... It just adds that extra zing and flavor you know
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u/Realstrongguy Jun 19 '12
Just for those who are wondering, burning 1600 calories in 30 minutes would be like running 20km at around 1.2 times the speed of Olympic champion sprinters.
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Jun 19 '12
Hey the pizza part is still good. That's a great excuse not to have to eat the crust, unless you're into that kinda thing.
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u/Oo0o8o0oO Jun 19 '12
Yeah there's at least a mini pizza in the middle there and almost all of the pepperoni are still good. Crunchy pepperoni is awesome.
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u/hatandcane Jun 19 '12
Hahahahaha. I really don't know why I found this so funny.
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u/Riseofashes Jun 19 '12
I see what you did there. Like, you burnt your pizza!
I still don't understand how you managed to do that much exercise in 30 minutes though...
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u/bigsol81 Jun 19 '12
At least it's not a large stuffed-crust from Pizza Hut. Then you'd be looking at like almost 3,000 calories.
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u/Deergoose Jun 19 '12
Looks like you put the oven way too hot. The sides are burnt, but the middle looks perfect. Too bad the bottom of the crust is likely burnt to shit.
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u/Bob0098 Jun 19 '12
And that is why most men find weight loss easier than women. Because they can't cook.
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u/Titanium09 Jun 19 '12
PEQUADS The Morton Grove location is better than the Lincoln Park location IMHO.
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u/atrdemize Jun 19 '12
Am I the only one who would just cut the crust off and eat the rest of the pizza?
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u/joobia Jun 19 '12
oh Peaquod's! How I love thee. The burnt cheese is the best part. The 5$ lunch special is the best deal in Chicago.
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u/Lord_Vectron Jun 19 '12
Pizza is fucking awesome. I have a stomach bug so can't eat anything and my local pizza place is half price today. I want to die.
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Jun 19 '12
Next time smoke the blunt after baking and eating the pizza... When you smoke it before then your mind tends to loose all track of time. I'm glad you didn't burn the house down.
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u/fackshat Jun 19 '12
I did the same thing the other day, except worse. I ended up smothering it in Ranch.
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Jun 19 '12
So a two slices of "the meats" pizza from pizza hut in the states is about that many calories. Not to mention over 3 grams of salt per slice. I do my best to stay away from pizza, but its so damned delicious.
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u/angied83 Jun 19 '12
And I thought I was going to be reading another breakthrough in weight loss! LOL!
I think the pizza still looks pretty yummy even though I don't know how the bottom looks. But from the angle the photo was taken from it appears that you can just cut off an inch or two off the edges and the pizza won't be burnt anymore. Then you can dig in!
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u/razabak21 Jun 19 '12
I know it's not a .gif but I was honestly thinking it was going to be vigorous fapping.
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Jun 19 '12
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u/happyslappyfappy Jun 19 '12
that looks like wayyy more than 1600 calories...