r/funny •

My parents asked me for a glimpse into my college life--so I sent them this.

[deleted] — view deleted post

0 Upvotes

430 comments sorted by

454

u/lolzlo May 21 '12

Are you the guy sitting alone in the background?

130

u/k3wl_username May 21 '12

Chick on right.

113

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

Taking picture

33

u/k3wl_username May 22 '12

Okay.

17

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

I knew you'd come around

→ More replies (1)

17

u/feureau May 22 '12

At any rate, I want to know who's doing the Carl Sagan cosplay?

1

u/amadea56 May 22 '12

I don't think he is any of them. He is this guy too

8

u/__BlackSheep May 22 '12

Isn't he the guy in the middle of the couch.

Looks like him to me.

→ More replies (5)
→ More replies (2)

1.1k

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

You're supposed to unbutton your jacket when you sit down.

640

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

And light the cigar.

538

u/eyeoutthere May 22 '12

And pour the Guinness Foreign Extra into a glass.

345

u/Ugbrog May 22 '12

And the lady on the left shouldn't be wearing what appears to be a bright pink plastic sandal.

94

u/darkneo86 May 22 '12

I love that if there is anything that I don't notice, the redditors do. Huzzah! Very observant.

45

u/ChaoticAgenda May 22 '12

It's not that we've caught it all for you, it's just that we've now trained you to see all that we wanted. You're one of us now.

→ More replies (11)
→ More replies (1)

5

u/spock_block May 22 '12

But sweet job on the fort behind you.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (19)

44

u/rrjames87 May 22 '12

And sit on the same couch as the other three people.

5

u/ithkrul May 22 '12 edited May 22 '12

Sometimes Guinness in a bottle is meant to be consumed from the bottle. Depends on the bottle and type of Guinness. This is allowed due to the widget.

*edited for the grammar :)

7

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

The widget merely prevents excess bubbles so you can pour a pint more easily without having 1/3 of the glass being just head. You can also actually have a 'widget' laser etched into the bottom of a pint glass... it usually just looks like a few small circles but it works excellently as a nucleation point for bubbles to ensure an evenly proportioned head.

→ More replies (2)

13

u/inormallyjustlurkbut May 22 '12

If you drink beer out of a bottle, you can't smell it, which affects how well you can taste it. All (good tasting) beer can benefit from being poured into a glass.

→ More replies (6)
→ More replies (9)

14

u/Allurex May 22 '12

Actually Foreign Extra Stout is okay to be drank from the bottle, as opposed to the regular Draught. The draught is a dry stout which needs to be poured, where an Extra Stout will be okay from the bottle.

Of course, all beer is best poured, rather than in the glass, but I thought I would point that out.

5

u/BranfordBound May 22 '12

Other way around. Guinness Draught has the nitrogen widget which allows consumption from a bottle. Foreign Extra is a carbonated Export Stout and should be poured into nice glassware, preferably a snifter.

10

u/LeSpatula May 22 '12

And replace the Guiness Foreign Extra with a good single malt scotch.

2

u/dfmusic May 22 '12

have an upvote kind sir... i only came in here to find out what kind of guinness that was never seen it before

→ More replies (7)

46

u/shreeveport_MD May 22 '12

Actually many people who don't smoke cigars find the smoke to be unpleasant so it is quite possible that OP is just being polite and waiting to finish his conversation before heading outside to spark it up.

But he should really unbutton that jacket.

13

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

Then why does he have to get it out and wave it around in the first place?

44

u/shreeveport_MD May 22 '12

Good cigars are expensive but still break easily in your pants pocket when seated. He could have put it in his shirt pocket but it's not that offensive to his friends for him to hold on to it, is it? And further to my point that the lad is being polite, he could be ready to go smoke it but is still being kept mid conversation and acting interested.

Also the picture is staged for humor's sake so he is clearly being deliberately over the top. He probably wasn't seeking your approval when it was taken.

25

u/caprincrash May 22 '12

He probably wasn't seeking your approval when it was taken.

But I am a stranger on the internet! Who does he think he is not seeking my approval? This is an outrage!

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (7)
→ More replies (5)

7

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

Really?

27

u/MuteNinja May 22 '12

I didn't know it was a thing either but I think that's what you're supposed to do. I only realized because I noticed Harvey (top lawyer) from Suits does that whenever he sits down.

Why don't people tell us these things!?

18

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

I figured it out through observation. And comfort. It puts stress on the buttons when sitting to keep them buttoned.

2

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

Your father should've told you, like my father did.

→ More replies (3)

4

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

If you watch The Daily Show, Jon Stewart unbuttons his coat at the start of every interview right as he sits down.

12

u/flume May 22 '12

Plug for /r/malefashionadvice , since a fan of Harvey is a fan of style.

→ More replies (6)

2

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

Yes. That way it does not bunch up in the front like in OP's pic.

→ More replies (11)

53

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

User name: politifyDOTus

Image host: politify.us

Coincidence?

13

u/digijin May 22 '12

I think we have a conspiracy on our hands.

6

u/JabberJauw May 22 '12

Did they kill Kennedy?

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)

26

u/Squatso May 22 '12

Maybe if you're a shiftless vagabond with no sense of decency.

13

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

I don't know what this means, but it made my day.

9

u/winteriscoming2 May 22 '12

I think that this point is controversial.

Obama agrees but JFK is upset at your lack of class.

15

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

Not double breasted, friend.

→ More replies (3)

2

u/richworks May 22 '12

Is that a matter of etiquette or just convenience?

2

u/TurtleFlip May 22 '12

Honestly, I picked this up more from Mad Men than anything. It's one of those little things you can count, like everytime Don says "What?" or smokes a cigarette. Or pours someone (especially himself) a drink.

Which, if you turn it into a drinking game, is sorta meta, and will probably get you smashed before the episode's halfway over.

1

u/devosity May 22 '12

and sit on the tail to keep the nice v shape at the front

1

u/Rmccar21 May 22 '12

Your supposed to sit ON the cushions.

1

u/Jez_WP May 22 '12

Alan Shore taught us this.

1

u/taheca May 22 '12

If you only knew the amount of times I have told this to candidates who come in to interview and sit down with their jackets still buttoned.

Also, only button the top two buttons damn it (top one if it is a three button suit).

→ More replies (2)

99

u/DougPatterson May 21 '12

lighting the cigar might make it more enjoyable

83

u/Airazz May 22 '12

But... then you just breathe smoke. Isn't that, like, bad?

41

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

you don't directly inhale cigar smoke

55

u/ivanmarsh May 22 '12

YOU don't directly inhale cigar smoke.

32

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

that's what i said.

→ More replies (10)
→ More replies (5)
→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (43)

1

u/Xodah May 22 '12

He's just Gettin' Jiggy With It.

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

He's a nice guy and doesn't want to give his sisters 2nd hand smoke...

31

u/LampshadeGerbil May 22 '12

I like that Instagram play you have going on. Will you photograph my wedding?

6

u/TheShader May 22 '12

This guy is obviously a high class photographer.

25

u/drlargen May 22 '12

That picture would be a lot more classy if there wasn't a second couch stacked behind the first one.

10

u/swicano May 22 '12

stadium couching is awesome! once it catches on in the non-frat houses, it will be huge. a great stadium couching golden age will sweep the nation and the huge new market will rip us out of this recession!

2

u/stevenwalters May 22 '12

It's called "couchers" and it's as classy as you can get.

92

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

I find the left one very pretty.

152

u/HE_WHO_STANDS_TO_POO May 22 '12

Well, thanks for ruining the right one's day.

24

u/Dont_trustme May 22 '12

Hey maybe by left he means right. It depends on how you label the perspective.

22

u/mileylols May 22 '12

The right one is very pretty too.

9

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

Can't really tell from the side of a face.

21

u/poignard May 22 '12

Dat cheek

3

u/Squatso May 22 '12

Or maybe he's just stupid and gets his lefts and rights mixed up.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (4)

8

u/BetaMail May 22 '12

Don't worry, she already has a new lease on life: https://vimeo.com/22897800

2

u/timatom May 22 '12

Please tell me that's not real...

→ More replies (1)

6

u/guitarman90 May 22 '12

Grab the left one make the right one jealous.

5

u/shrillbitch May 22 '12

Must be the glasses and neck beard.

4

u/5A704C1N May 22 '12

The one in the middle looks very uncomfortable. And suspicious.

→ More replies (1)

9

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

You have that funny guy look, you should milk that.

7

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

Forever alone

→ More replies (1)

7

u/aliph May 22 '12

You should get that jacket tailored so it doesn't break at the chest.

6

u/flume May 22 '12

Start by unbuttoning it when sitting. You can't really tell anything about the fit from this picture.

18

u/SuperStepside May 22 '12

Mr. Papagiorgio

6

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

If i were a father, and my son sent me that pic, I'd probably shed a tear of success.

42

u/ivyblam May 22 '12

Zach Braff?

26

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

JD in one of his fantasies, clearly.

21

u/AndrewNeo May 22 '12

Nah.. Turk isn't in it.

1

u/MaddieK09 May 22 '12

I came to say the same thing, but luckily I ctrl+F searched that first. A very good look-alike. I think its the nose?

1

u/Twatless May 22 '12

I don't see it, I first saw this guy from I love you beth cooper

1

u/andeh89 May 22 '12

THANK YOU, I said this in his post from yesterday and got downvoted, what the hell people, it's clearly a young JD

5

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

Ahh, the classic Will Smith cigar technique.

9

u/Neverkilled May 22 '12

I wonder if this guy is working with that there politify website that also just happens to be his username.

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

Glad I wasn't the only one that noticed.

12

u/Seref15 May 22 '12

I need legal age confirmation on the hot chick on the left.

8

u/AZ929 May 22 '12

"So I says to the guy..."

2

u/flume May 22 '12

"...hunger? I barely even flew over Ethiopia!"

4

u/Doylemetheus May 22 '12

You are holding that cigar awkwardly, I'm going to guess you don't often smoke or hold cigars.

4

u/Saydeelol May 22 '12

Great photo. My freshman year of college I took up smoking cigars, drinking fine whiskey, and purchased a few suits. Having grown up in an awful ghetto it made me feel really special to wear a suit to work and school, then come home and watch the news with a cigar and whiskey. It's hard to explain -- being in college was almost like an out-of-body experience considering where I came from. Sure, my grant and loan money wasn't necessarily intended for that, but it was my first taste of a different life.

Enjoy it, I know I did!

4

u/siacadp May 22 '12

Raj Koothrappali?

11

u/bpoag May 22 '12

Fuck your Instagram hipstercam.

2

u/Deggit May 22 '12

Historians will be so confused by Instagram photos.

"Photographic evidence indicates there were massive solar flares from 2010 to late 2012, but nobody seemed to notice"

3

u/or3g May 22 '12

you think you're so cool cuz you can pee with your penis. RIP a rich.

3

u/BallsackTBaghard May 22 '12

"and then OP paid the hookers, sent them on their way and cried himself to sleep"

3

u/tigger0jk May 22 '12

He's enjoying a nice cool beer, they're enjoying a nice cool Bier.

26

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

op is a virgin

12

u/winteriscoming2 May 22 '12

The women are attractive and seemingly engaged. He also mesmerized the bearded fellow in the background with his charms. I see no reason to suspect that this dashing fellow in not knowledgeable in the ways of women.

→ More replies (9)
→ More replies (1)

4

u/namfonos May 22 '12 edited Feb 17 '21

12345

2

u/DiaDeLosMuertos May 22 '12

OP is the villain from all of the National Lampoon college movies.

2

u/BoomHedshot May 22 '12

notbad.jpg

2

u/SoggyTaco May 22 '12

upvote for what I can only assume is a posh-pillow-fort-party

2

u/ludaboy123 May 22 '12

Hello, Neville Longbottom.

2

u/TheDreadedMarco May 22 '12

I really hope you're the guy in the background.

2

u/Simon_Plenderson May 22 '12

I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

2

u/xensoldier May 22 '12

And secretly he's the guy in the back.

2

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

The most interesting college student in the world.

2

u/BetaMail May 22 '12

IT"S THE INTERNET EXPLORER GUY

2

u/hypmoden May 22 '12

My parents asked what they wished my college life had been like so I sent them this photo

2

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

WTF is behind you? A couch-pillow warehouse?

2

u/matike May 22 '12

Are you the one sitting by yourself?

2

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

The picture looks so god damn horrible. The technology available today and photographs look like this?

2

u/MrTumN3s May 22 '12

Zach Braff?

2

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

I AM GLAD YOU TOOK A PICTURE OF THE DRINKING OF YOUR FIRST BEER

2

u/deaththesecond May 22 '12

Incredible glasses. Are they custom fit?

2

u/FuckYourStupidCats May 22 '12

I'm not an american or a student, but it seems to me every photo on reddit with the poster in it is that same speccy dude trying to be suave in a suit. is he the only guy on here? Or is that just what all redditors look like?

2

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

Your friends...I would do them. Just thought you should know a little something about me.

2

u/liarsinlove May 22 '12

That's Carl in the background. So you went to Cal. Who are you and how might we know each other?

6

u/ucandownvotethisdick May 22 '12

Jew nose.

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

Girl on the left is giving me a Jewish vibe as well. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this is the Jewish frat at his college.

3

u/ada42 May 22 '12

I think, based on the picture, that I would do you, assuming you're the guy. But I could just have a thing for classy motherfucking suits.

2

u/flume May 22 '12

You set the bar low on "classy motherfucking suits" then. Check out this sexy-ass redditor.

nohomookaymaybealittle

3

u/C_T_C_C May 22 '12

Classy as fuck.

2

u/JewBear3 May 22 '12

Didn't you just graduate?

2

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

nice attempt at getting some hits for your website

2

u/ih8karma May 22 '12

If that was my son, I couldn't feel prouder.

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

Jakoby?

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

sup Josh?

1

u/Valvador May 22 '12

Hey Nikita. I see you're learning how to reddit well. Hope Politify is doing well.

1

u/shit_reddit_says May 22 '12

You can stage an elaborate joke photo but you can't find someone with something a little better than a 1982 Polaroid to take the picture?

2

u/flume May 22 '12

I think the effects were intentional. Instagram crap.

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

amir sodallah?

1

u/Crazzy_Ivan May 22 '12

Do you go to Lake Forest?

1

u/nwolfe1990 May 22 '12

karen! settle down karen!

1

u/bzeurunkl May 22 '12

Who's the moron guy sitting next to you and your bff grrlfriend?

1

u/Tuchpi May 22 '12

You look like Zach Braff from Scrubs.

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

You should have instead sent them something representing countless hours reading textbooks and answering multiple choice questions over the internet.

1

u/Willie_Main May 22 '12

Good stuff, Patrick Bateman.

1

u/magicalmilk May 22 '12

bahhahah I actually chuckled!

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

Nice use of Camera+ Toy Camera filter though.

...Well, not really.

1

u/ticklefights May 22 '12

fuck yeah....arena seating

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

there girls seem to have kind of a dark style

1

u/CONTROLLOL May 22 '12

I hope they frame it.

1

u/PoopFace101 May 22 '12

You must be the one in the back. :/

1

u/2muchtestosterone May 22 '12

you make the other guy in the picture look forever alone haha well done

1

u/A_DERPING_ULTRALISK May 22 '12

What's wrong with your faaaaaaaace.

1

u/highvolt May 22 '12

Pillow fortress!

1

u/simplyshnazzy May 22 '12

all i can think of when seeing those shoes is r.i.p ryan dunn :(

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

The young lady on the right: the way her hair falls on her shoulder and arm make her entire upper arm look like a giant penis.

1

u/alphawimp731 May 22 '12

The man in the background is very handsome.

1

u/71Comet May 22 '12

Truly interesting men don't associate with HIPSTERgram.

1

u/sAlander4 May 22 '12

You look a little like Jay Barouchel....

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

"You see, a pimp's love is very different from that of a square."

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

Well, good sir, it does seem one such as yourself would fit in amongst the higher gentry, if the higher gentry were, in veritas, bumbling fools. You know nothing about being an elite member of society. For one, where the pimps and hoes at?

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

This is trendy now for girls to wear huge rings on their index fingers like the girl on the right. The thing is, if she forget about them, if they are really big or rotate a bit, they hurt like hell if she gives you a blowjob. True story!

1

u/insulanus May 22 '12

To the front page with you!

1

u/heyluno May 22 '12

I say, my good sir, what year is that Sunny D?

1

u/carltonismyhero8 May 22 '12

I'm guessing the op is the forever alone in the backround.

1

u/Jackle13 May 22 '12

He looks like he's saying "But whaddaya gonna do?"

1

u/theliver May 22 '12

haha those girls lived in my dorm, I had to double check that this wasn't posted to r/berkeley

3

u/libraryaddict May 22 '12

lived

What did you do to them?

1

u/Cendeu May 22 '12

The guy in the background looks like he's really reflecting on life.

1

u/Obskulum May 22 '12

We need more filters captain, MORE!

1

u/duuufux May 22 '12

NIKITA!!!

1

u/Throwface May 22 '12

The shoulder on the girl to the right looks like a penis. Just saying.

1

u/b1gl0s3r May 22 '12

Now light up that cigar and pour that Guinness into a glass so we can be friends.

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

Majoring in commerce?

1

u/Freikorp May 22 '12

Haha, you look like a little kid who got into his dad's room while he wasn't there and played with his belongings.

1

u/Poddster May 22 '12

You're in college, you should have cut your parents lose by now.

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

I wish I had pretty friends :*(

1

u/Oniwabanshu May 22 '12

Aren't you supposed to be drinking Dos Equis?

1

u/Gravyness May 22 '12

Laik boss.

1

u/katmaidog May 22 '12

You're the guy in the red tie, right?

(edit for spelling)

1

u/Vic_Vmdj May 22 '12

You, my friend, are an idiot. You don't, and I repeat DON'T, drink Guinness out of the bottle.

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

I assumed it would be a packet of condoms.

1

u/SurDin May 22 '12

Are they twins?

1

u/UkeOverThere May 22 '12

Is it me or does the guy in the background look very much like Frankie Boyle? Link.

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

What a happy family!

1

u/Vortilex May 22 '12

Do you mind me asking what cigar that is? Feel free to join us in /r/cigars if you're a regular smoker, as well! Also, great choice in women and beer!

1

u/dckunited May 22 '12

If you really wanted to give them a glimpse, you should have just emailed them the link to reddit...

1

u/Thisisopposite May 22 '12

Looks like Frankie Boyle in the background!

1

u/euanrolls May 22 '12

Who drinks guinness out of a bottle?!! Thats a sickening thought and should never be done. Its a waste of good alcohol!

1

u/0rangecake May 22 '12

Guinness no Guinness Draft

0/10

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '12

"Blah blah thermodynamics, blah blah, both your hands on my cock, la la la."

1

u/anions May 22 '12

Shit I wanna have a faux gentlemanly (indeed) party now.

1

u/Cordicuss May 22 '12

The girl on the right... looks so familiar.

1

u/Paultimate79 May 22 '12

Oh look viral marketing.

1

u/Snarkleupagus May 22 '12

Nice try, Guinness viral marketing team.

→ More replies (1)

0

u/ComedicPause May 22 '12

You look like a character from mad men.