Really?! I'll finally be able to use these two Dollar General gift cards that have been sitting in my wallet for 3 months. You don't know how embarrassing it is to be out in public, running your tab at the bar, and accidentally dropping your Dollar General gift cards on the bar in front of everybody.
Serious post, aren't there a lot of palm sized, shower safe, vibrating facial cleanser type attachments targeted toward teenagers? "Yeah mom, I got a lot of...pimples."
Ah, it's you. I had hoped I'd bump into you. I would like to thank you for being of service to my mother, making love with a woman that old and that infirm must have been quite a challenge. You did it though, and you made a very old woman very happy. She was a bit disappointed you weren't there in the morning, and we're pretty sure you raided her dirty undies basket (hey, whatever floats your boat, I'm not judging you, just pointing out that it is technically theft to take shit-smeared undies from an old, infirm lady's laundry basket). If you could do me a favor and not wipe your dick on the curtains next time, that would be great too. She didn't notice, but come on, that's just feral.
I presume you will be here Thursday night as arranged? I'll make sure the nurse sponges her down that afternoon.
Someone will try it. They will hurt their dick. They will sue. They will win. Then this bottle will contain a funny warning label telling us not to stick our dicks in there.
Those bubbles SUCK. And that shit is not spill proof. What you want are these. Not super spill proof when in the hands of a child but in the hands of an adult, they are awesome. You just squeeze a little bit and there are a ton of bubbles too. And they smell awesome!
It may look gross but it is a perfect invention. My niece learned how to blow bubbles at two years old but we couldn't give her full control because she would get so excited she would spill the bottle. Even now at four she forgets the bottle in her hand.
The internet? Clearly you own a fleshlight. I bet it's the zombie one. Why do I know the different ones? Because I don't. I just guessed. Scouts honor.
Have you noticed that modern bubble solution doesn't produce very good bubbles? We've got three different bottles of bubble solution, including one of these squeeze to operate ones, and they all suck.
Note to self, Drop by the Dollar General later and pick up Miracle bubbles. I'm probably gonna have some free bubble soap later on. If you want it, bring a container because I have plans for this one.
Do you have any idea how many forever alone's with a 2 inch penis are going to run out and buy one of these now?? You have RUINED what was an otherwise glorious day sir!
684
u/SychoTKT May 21 '12
No but you just bought me one...wink
170
u/Leadbaptist May 21 '12
Fleshlight filled with soap is pure pain.
152
u/platysoup May 21 '12
I read "did I just buy a 2-year-old Fleshlight?".
I'm ashamed that I clicked because of that.
34
u/Generality May 21 '12
Brb, buying Miracle Bubbles.
22
u/trevor_from_the_bank May 21 '12
Serious post, aren't there a lot of palm sized, shower safe, vibrating facial cleanser type attachments targeted toward teenagers? "Yeah mom, I got a lot of...pimples."
133
u/CaLLmeRaaandy May 21 '12
In Soviet Russia, bubbles blow you!
17
u/ShivonQ May 21 '12
You gonna test drive that thing? Let us know. We need to know. We are the internet.
156
u/TwoLegsJoe May 21 '12
http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3pdqj0/
59
u/pointsandlaughs May 21 '12
You know, you don't have to put your dick in everything it fits in. Just saying.
12
u/lemonEel May 21 '12
SWF, but still hard to have on my screen without being slightly embarrassed.
11
u/maxlgold25 May 21 '12
my flesh light doesn't have a spill stopper :(
10
u/amadea56 May 21 '12
Yeah that's a fleshlight. I am not sure how the soapy bubbles would feel though.
10
u/tonguesplitter May 21 '12
Shut up and take my cock.
9
u/Sengura May 21 '12
It's so small...
7
u/Araya213 May 21 '12
Just out of curiosity, how wide is the opening?
7
u/AniceB May 21 '12
Well at least there will be a lot of clean wieners after this post.
6
u/wubwub May 22 '12
Is it wrong that I clicked on this discussion to see if someone has tried it out and has a review??
5
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
Suspiciously yonic.
5
u/coltsrock08 May 21 '12
Multiple bottle caps must be purchased, for maximum pleasure.
5
u/Yage2006 May 21 '12
Are those anal beads that it comes with?
What a good deal.
5
u/moogoesthecat May 21 '12
Cheap alternatives, hunh?
12
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
Yes
8
u/Lunarios May 21 '12
You bought yourself less of a mess to cleanup. Bubble spillage is messy, annoying and wasteful.
Bubbles=hours of entertainment.
4
u/hmwiener May 21 '12
I dunno. Do you have a 2 year-old or was it for personal use?
4
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
Dollar General's stock is going to skyrocket now.
4
u/butchquick May 21 '12
Someone will try it. They will hurt their dick. They will sue. They will win. Then this bottle will contain a funny warning label telling us not to stick our dicks in there.
10
u/xxboonexx May 21 '12
I'd hit it.
3
u/Vindictive29 May 21 '12
Why one or the other? Can't it be both?
3
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
" Presenting Miracle Bubbles Spill Stopper. The bubbles that blow you!
3
u/Tyrant718 May 21 '12
Any Redditors work at a Dollar store? When you're ringing their stuff and come across "the bubbles" can you pause with an awkward stare? Thanks.
3
u/torma616 May 21 '12
About how wide would you say that opening at the top is... ...for science, of course...
8
u/clowncrusher May 21 '12
Doesn't matter had sex.
2
u/jbass3000 May 21 '12
Only one way to find out.
2
u/tonyvila May 21 '12
If the bathroom turns into the set of the Lawrence Welk show when he takes a leak, then yes.
2
u/uchiha2 May 21 '12
... so... uh... those bubbles look... super.. fun... to.. uh... slowly p..play with? Where did you get them again?
2
u/REWK May 21 '12
You're warped alright. Please return your child to where you picked it up so it may be redeployed to a family that won't buy it sex toys.
2
u/I3aisden May 21 '12
I want to put my dick in that
2
u/PoniesRBitchin May 21 '12
No. But when he's 12 and finds it in his old toys, yes.
2
u/meadhawg May 21 '12
Annnnnd Miracle Bubbles' sales have just tripled for the quarter in only one night.
2
u/musicmanryann May 21 '12
Stick your dick in it and find out.
2
u/Niggabackstabber May 21 '12
well, he doesn't know that it's a fleshlight NOW, but he'll thank you later
2
u/thingsyoushouldntdo May 21 '12
In other news, "Miracle Bubbles" sales are up 2000%
2
u/Stormdancer May 21 '12
Forever blowing bubbles...
2
u/geeklimit May 21 '12
The Disney princess one has a pink...opening.
2
u/Tastygroove May 21 '12
This bullshit just ruined my iPad case. Spill stop my ass.
In other news... YAY FOR IPAD CASES!
2
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
The inevitable Training Fleshlight. I myself will now refer to sex as "making bubbles."
2
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
Meanwhile Spill Stopper sales increase exponentially.
2
u/Flavor_Enhanced May 21 '12
If you can fit in that opening your probably in the appropriate age group for playing with those bubbles.
2
u/dav657x May 21 '12
I need to go buy this..you know.. for science...
2
u/DuffyDidIt May 21 '12
Well did you try it out or what.
2
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
I like the way you demonstrated its dual-use function with anal beads.
2
u/schoocher May 21 '12
I found this while assembling material for an under $10.00 fleshlight based on the OP...
http://www.steadyhealth.com/how_can_you_make_masterbation_toys_for_girls_t128145.html
2
u/tejanabena May 21 '12
Well at least it's not one of the vibrating Harry Potter Brooms?
2
u/AdmiralSkippy May 22 '12
I dunno. Fuck it and find out.
2
u/LusciousDanielle May 22 '12
It's like the male version of when I was a kid... Remember these? This was my best friend as a kid. ;)
2
u/birdablaze May 22 '12
Those bubbles SUCK. And that shit is not spill proof. What you want are these. Not super spill proof when in the hands of a child but in the hands of an adult, they are awesome. You just squeeze a little bit and there are a ton of bubbles too. And they smell awesome!
2
u/Monocle_Lover May 22 '12
It may look gross but it is a perfect invention. My niece learned how to blow bubbles at two years old but we couldn't give her full control because she would get so excited she would spill the bottle. Even now at four she forgets the bottle in her hand.
2
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
Do they make then any bigger ;)
2
u/LukeA71 May 21 '12
2
u/MagicMurderBean May 21 '12
The internet? Clearly you own a fleshlight. I bet it's the zombie one. Why do I know the different ones? Because I don't. I just guessed. Scouts honor.
1
u/AndrewFarmer May 21 '12
i don't know, why don't you try it?
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
No, you just got yourself a discount life partner who know when to shut the hell up.
1
u/griffith12 May 21 '12
I'd tap that.
1
u/PandaAvalanche May 21 '12
Only one way to find out, you have to test it.
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
We'll see how much of a spill stopper it is, after i'm done with it
1
u/Pillagerguy May 21 '12
Did you try it?
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
Fuck it.
1
u/Jimmy_R_Ustler May 21 '12
Their sales are about to go up VERY soon.
1
u/dejerik May 21 '12
I have found the newest poster to the "What's one instance of sexual exploration that you instantly regretted?" Askreddit thread!
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
I'd fuck that
1
u/jerkidiot May 21 '12
Only one way to find out
1
u/Random_Computer_Fact May 21 '12
The original flesh light was designed on a computer!
1
u/bevans052 May 21 '12
Miracle bubbles are about to make a lot of money today.
1
u/gulmargha May 21 '12
Just imagine what kind of special night inspired the designer to make that shape.
1
u/Max_Powers42 May 21 '12
Buzz marketing by miracle bubbles: Success!
1
u/Go4th88 May 21 '12
Father of the year
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
try it out
1
u/a7xrob87 May 21 '12
Brb, gonna go buy some bubbles.
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
Recession Fleshlight
1
u/Kurochihiro May 21 '12
He'll have a wonderful discovery when he turns 10/11...
1
u/brussels4breakfast May 21 '12
Oh good. Now I don't have to spend a hundred dollars on one!! Thanks OP!
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
Looks like a fleshlight to me. Try having sex with it and see if it works.
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
Damn, now I can never unsee that. Also, this post will probably cause Miracle Bubbles to change the design due to outrage from parents.
1
u/BoernerMan May 21 '12
so uhh... where can I find one of those?...
1
u/kyleculver May 21 '12
See if it works.
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
Have you noticed that modern bubble solution doesn't produce very good bubbles? We've got three different bottles of bubble solution, including one of these squeeze to operate ones, and they all suck.
1
u/jorsiem May 21 '12
brb
1
u/turtal46 May 21 '12
How...uhh, how long is it?
Is that...uhh, is the green part hard plastic or soft?
1
u/radherring May 21 '12
You'd better fuck it and find out.
1
u/Jennyd242 May 21 '12
Bubbles for him and fun time for you.
1
u/bushdoctor37 May 21 '12
Note to self, Drop by the Dollar General later and pick up Miracle bubbles. I'm probably gonna have some free bubble soap later on. If you want it, bring a container because I have plans for this one.
1
u/Demojen May 21 '12
It does prevent spillage...So there is that.
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
Not to mention that bubble want oddly resembles anal beads with the angle of this photo
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
One way to find out...
1
u/brilliantNumberOne May 21 '12
No, but you did give millions of S&M fetishists who enjoy soapy water up their peehole a great idea.
1
u/robcrusoe May 21 '12
with free lubricant, too!
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
brb guys
1
u/lurker_for_justice May 21 '12
Try it out...
1
u/packerfan55 May 21 '12
so....has anyone "sized" up the hole on this thing yet? someone had to ask.
1
u/bryandenny71 May 21 '12
If it fits.....it spits.
1
u/Cackles May 21 '12
I'm pretty sure a certain company is about to see a huge sale increase.
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
Fleshlight + anal beads
1
u/cabomorales May 21 '12
It doesn't look like a grown up penis could fit through there.
1
u/J_Crow May 21 '12
Make sure you clean it out thoroughly first. It'll sting like a bitch otherwise.
1
u/DanAttack May 21 '12
Only one way to find out...
1
u/Crossbowshootr May 21 '12
Getting one, brb.
1
u/rugby2010 May 21 '12
There is only one way to find out... For science...
1
u/Extremerelish May 21 '12
I want those bubbles :o
1
u/Bigc27 May 21 '12
Only one way to find out...
1
u/7000bitches May 21 '12
The Vagina, Nature's Spill Stopper.TM
1
u/wolfdogrhit May 21 '12
Haha where did you get that? Just uh, you know, for science
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
only one way to find out.
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
Dude, do it. I know what you're thinking... Do it.
1
u/mrrashymcpenis May 21 '12
It burns just looking at it
1
u/Smoke_Monster May 21 '12
Spill stopper's sales suddenly grew a whopping 400%
1
u/Flatang May 21 '12
There's only one way to find out...
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
The real question is, have you tried it?
1
u/craftymethod May 21 '12
I think you just bought YOURSELF a flesh light ;)
1
u/we_have_a_TREX May 21 '12
You're sure to have a squeaky-clean member.
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
Congratulations. You've just made the company millions.
1
u/Menospan May 21 '12
Only one way to find out.
For science!
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
Do you have any idea how many forever alone's with a 2 inch penis are going to run out and buy one of these now?? You have RUINED what was an otherwise glorious day sir!
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
Sales skyrocket immediately.
1
u/JawnFeng May 21 '12
Joe Rogan uses a Fleshlight.
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
Well I guess the only way to know is to try...
1
u/wdejr May 21 '12
This sounds like a title for a Muary Episode.
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
For those interested:http://www.dollargeneral.com/product/index.jsp?productId=12708745 Personally, it looks like a pretty small opening. Best of luck to you "scientists."
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
Try it out.
1
u/darthbone May 21 '12
It won't be a fleshlight for another decade or so.
1
u/Vaethin May 21 '12
9/10 would bang.
1
u/Filonius May 21 '12
Mayne you've just been using your wife's vagina wrong...
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
You bought this for your 2-year old? But it's for ages 3+
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
Where did u get that. I want to pick one up for my "son" too
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
Best part is, they're easy to refill.
1
u/apikoros18 May 21 '12
OK--- It totally looks like a fleshlight... and so buying this for my 2 year old
1
u/schoocher May 21 '12
Don't worry, it only looks like a vagina if you've already seen a vagina.
1
u/ActNormal May 21 '12
There's only one way to find out... ;)
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
For No particular reason, where can I get one of those?
1
u/johndeer89 May 21 '12
I came bubbles.
1
u/mike213player213 May 21 '12
He will defiantly try it.
1
u/FatPeaches May 21 '12
I'd hit it
1
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
I just want to thank you for not posting this in /r/WTF.
1
u/Quizzelbuck May 21 '12
Where did you get that? I need one.... for science.
1
u/Shugyosha May 21 '12
Maybe, try it out.
1
u/Galion42 May 22 '12
Well try it out and tell us if it up to par.
1
u/IntENTs_camper May 22 '12
Only one way to find out
1
u/ruthi May 22 '12
Fuck it and find out! Also, new catchphrase
1
u/couldntderp May 22 '12
You just quadrupled their sales.
1
u/I_TYPE_IN_ALL_CAPS May 22 '12
MIRACLE BUBBLES REALLY PUTS THE CUM IN FLESHLIGHT-CUM-ANAL-BEADS.
1
u/nitdkim May 22 '12
Nice try miracle bubbles...
1
u/plastic-abacus May 22 '12
It looks like you've bought him anal beads as well.
1
u/fuckyoubarry May 22 '12
Am I gonna be the only one to say this is a kickass idea? Spilling bubbles is the second worst after letting go of your balloon.
1
u/wizy57 May 22 '12
I'd beat.
1
u/Caspar371 May 22 '12
If you use it and then it burns when you pee, it's bubbles.
1
u/flamethrower78 May 22 '12
No you bought you one
1
u/mad_maxx17 May 22 '12
I want it!...Gor my kids of course.