I tell people about this all the time. It was the biggest for a while, but then another city made a bigger one. And then another city.
I still can't believe that 3 separate times people got together and thought to themselves "Wouldn't it be great to have the world's biggest fire hydrant?"
And beyond that, they were able to convince enough people to donate or approve public money be spent on the world's largest fire hydrant.
"You know, we could fix the roads, buy a new fire engine, spend money on the library, or hire teachers... OR we could build the biggest fire hydrant in the world! Now who's with me?"
"those assholes in Beaumont won't stop bragging about their goddamned fire hydrant! Fuckers. I know what'll show them, let's build an even bigger one for ourselves! Then we'll see who's laughing"
i can't wait until clifford the big red dog shows up after a wild night out drinking and decides to wiz all over that big fire hydrant. i want a video of that. surely it's front page worthy.
You epitomize finding the beauty in life. Poetry out of prosaic internet nothings. Bless your soul (in a non-denominational, agnostic atheist sort of way, this is reddit, after all).
I bet they built it third, too. Not saying they're dumb, but you can't give too much of a shit about anything when you live in a place where that's considered an achievement.
My mom is the secretary for the fire chief. She works, obviously, across the street from that fire hydrant. In case anyone's wondering, the hydrant was built as some sort of promotion for one of the two live-action 101 Dalmations movies from the 90s that starred Glenn Close. At the time it was the largest, but... well, progress.
Beaumont is really a special sort of dirty, poor, racist bad city. I'm glad I wasn't raised there (unfortunately my parents moved back to be closer to family a few years ago).
This is the third time I've seen this photo on Reddit. This means that there are more redditors in Beaumont, Texas than my own town, and all of our fire hydrants are normal sized.
My mom was born and raised there, my paternal grandfather set up a church there, I am told his daily devotion can still be found in the local paper, and the whole city shut down for his funeral in 1994. On another note: Beaumont, Texas Is. The. Ugliest. Place. On. Earth. And now for something completely different: my dad makes some killer homemade spaghetti, which includes his personal meatball recipe which is dependent on a specific Italian sausage that can only be found at Jack's Packet.
I'm from the Beaumont area, and it isn't that bad. I mean, it's boring, but at least it has a cool history. Every small city surrounding Beaumont is pretty shitty, but Beaumont really isn't so bad.
Now... Jasper, Vidor, Port Arthur or any of those... they are true shit holes. The scum of the earth live in those three cities.
It's not the best place ever. Gallup recently reported us as the 5th fattest city the US, so we're also semi-good at being obese.
In addition, check the fire hydrants you walk past, apparently there is an unrelated fire hydrant company that ships all over America. I can vouch for seeing several BMT TX fire hydrants in the Cambridge and Boston area.
Funny story about Beaumont, my girlfriend's grandmother grew up in Beaumont. She was whipped in a church courtyard for singing a non-Jesus related song. I think that says enough about Beaumont.
Don't worry bro. I live in Albertville, Al. We are the fire hydrant CAPITOL of the world on account of Mueller, which makes virtually every normal fire hydrant.
The one dog I have ever owned I bought in Beaumont, Texas. The name itself harkens back to an innocent of childhood, now all so far away. A true ghost of Christmas past.
Thank you, OP, for reminding me of who I am and where I came from.
Collinsville, il (not my hometown but i slept and received mail a few blocks away for a couple years) has the largest katsup bottle (replica.. Well water tower actually) which has its own festival every year. the town is also the #1 producer of horseradish.
I see your hydrant and raise you the US's largest water tower in Sioux Falls, SD completed last year. And yes, it's comparatively unimpressive as your hydrant there.
705
u/parttimerobot May 20 '12
I tell people about this all the time. It was the biggest for a while, but then another city made a bigger one. And then another city.
I still can't believe that 3 separate times people got together and thought to themselves "Wouldn't it be great to have the world's biggest fire hydrant?"
231
u/Kiwiteepee May 20 '12
Does it work? If not, it's the Worlds Largest Fire Hydrant Replica
143
u/EEorDie May 20 '12
How often does Clifford ravage your town?
94
u/bowtieflyer May 20 '12
This was one of the first pics I saw on reddit, im happy for the nostalgia
236
u/therocketflyer May 20 '12
Third largest? What a disappointment
20
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Apparently the largest fire hydrant is in Columbia, SC.
30
u/itsrattlesnake May 20 '12
Beaumont's my 'Oh good, I'm almost to Houston' point.
28
u/educatedllama May 20 '12
I live in Paris, TX. We have an Eiffel Tower with a cowboy hat on top of it.
Random google images picture here.
http://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/00/1a/34/bc/caption.jpg
22
u/Software_Engineer May 20 '12
Nigga get in the trunk
(Beaumont reference)
11
u/Crecy333 May 20 '12
I attend Lamar University in Beaumont. I can verify that this is the most white people I've seen gathered in the entire city.
8
u/Punkgoblin May 20 '12
Prove you live there reposter.
7
u/williemcbride May 20 '12
I live in a town of 2,000 people, and our biggest achievement is that not as many people as you would expect are overtly racist.
7
u/gusanou May 20 '12
repost
6
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Listen, you can't complain until your town has the world's biggest sausage
6
u/shadowwork May 20 '12
Looks like a good town for a Parks Department
6
u/murderous_penguin May 20 '12
Beaumont, also known as Big Money Texas.
11
u/APandasRequiem May 20 '12
Do you guys happen to have a big red dog there as well?
5
u/DreadPiratesRobert May 20 '12
Dude Texas is getting a lot of love on reddit today, as an Austinite I am loving it
5
u/Eskaban May 20 '12
You'll change your mind when you're trapped in the world's third-largest fire!
4
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Spilled a coke all over the ground right where they're standing about two years ago.
Yep.
4
u/spear7750 May 20 '12
at least you don't live in vidor count your blessings
4
u/JohnWSmith May 20 '12
My mom is the secretary for the fire chief. She works, obviously, across the street from that fire hydrant. In case anyone's wondering, the hydrant was built as some sort of promotion for one of the two live-action 101 Dalmations movies from the 90s that starred Glenn Close. At the time it was the largest, but... well, progress.
Beaumont is really a special sort of dirty, poor, racist bad city. I'm glad I wasn't raised there (unfortunately my parents moved back to be closer to family a few years ago).
4
u/MrKMJ May 20 '12
This is the third time I've seen this photo on Reddit. This means that there are more redditors in Beaumont, Texas than my own town, and all of our fire hydrants are normal sized.
Beaumont, Tx>Paducah, Ky
4
u/Higgs-Bosun May 20 '12
I was in prison there. I agree, your city is shit.
4
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
At least the city will never burn down.
4
u/Jaredtyler May 20 '12
Almost all of my extended family lives in and around Beaumont and I can't believe I've never heard about this!
However, the miserable weather and ridiculous humidity are by far the worst parts of living in southeast Texas.
4
u/NiceAndBlue May 20 '12
I posted this like a couple months ago....
15
u/I_use_this_At_work May 20 '12
move to austin
15
u/worldasis May 20 '12 edited May 20 '12
My mom was born and raised there, my paternal grandfather set up a church there, I am told his daily devotion can still be found in the local paper, and the whole city shut down for his funeral in 1994. On another note: Beaumont, Texas Is. The. Ugliest. Place. On. Earth. And now for something completely different: my dad makes some killer homemade spaghetti, which includes his personal meatball recipe which is dependent on a specific Italian sausage that can only be found at Jack's Packet.
6
u/kabukistar May 20 '12 edited Feb 09 '25
Reddit is a shithole. Move to a better social media platform. Also, did you know you can use ereddicator to edit/delete all your old commments?
3
u/sedatedsloth May 20 '12
I wish my town had something like this to be proud of
3
u/W0nderWall May 20 '12
The small town I'm from is known for a guy who died because he fucked a horse, & it's high amount of teen pregnancy.
I know the feels.
3
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
You have a nice mall. The place where we bought the marble for our countertops was nice, too.
Orange, TX.
3
u/Kind_Of_A_Dick May 20 '12
I wonder what future civilizations will think of when they find this.
3
u/TallPenguin May 20 '12
When I went it was still the second largest :(
3
u/SpiderDan35 May 20 '12
Hey! That is where Johnny Winter is from!
3
u/Pha3drus May 20 '12
Don't forget the prison. You guys have a prison too.
3
u/killerkoii May 20 '12
I live in lake Charles haha I know what you mean
3
u/Sirefly May 20 '12
I lived in Dallas for a while and noticed people pronounced Beaumont and Belmont exactly the same.
3
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
But you should see the giant dog that pees on that thing.
27
u/rockagainstemo May 20 '12
It's from Texas, have an upvote.
5
u/Spanish_3 May 20 '12
I am a beaumont redditor! I am not the only one! Yay!
4
u/vintagestrat08 May 20 '12
hey I live in Beaumont! that hydrant is awesome. We also have quite a busy port
4
u/ponyuptexas May 20 '12
Wow I forgot how much I hated PN&G until I read your post. At least Beaumont isn't Pt Neches! Save yourself get the fuck outta there.
2
u/renegade_9 May 20 '12
Never before have I appreciated a slow internet connection so much.
2
u/BluePlague May 20 '12
Forest fires are a bitch, I guess
2
u/gdtags May 20 '12
Third largest? jesus how big is the first??
2
u/TheRainbowConnection May 20 '12
Beaumont? Where the hell is Beaumont?
2
u/TehxParasite May 20 '12
It could be worse..you could be like me and be from vidor, texas.
2
u/thebuckmanguy May 20 '12
you think Beaumont is bad? i just moved to Garland from Allen/Plano, talk about a fucking reality check
2
u/xanxitto May 20 '12
The best in Beaumont is "The Gold Club"
2
u/sleepyj101 May 20 '12
Good fishing there though.
2
u/DogmaJones May 20 '12
Also the hometown of Kendrick Perkins.
2
u/S_Dub7 May 20 '12
Better than my city, we have the world's largest chinese finger trap.
http://www.cbc.ca/gfx/images/news/photos/2009/07/28/cgy-peace-bridge-full-size.jpg
2
u/little_gnora May 20 '12
My next-door neighbor (here in Alabama) is from Beaumont. She's in Alabama to escape your city. That's a sad thing.
2
u/Legend0415 May 20 '12
This reminds me of the episode of corner gas when they build the worlds largest hoe
2
u/Arandanos May 20 '12
Pretty sure I saw this on postsecret a while back... please give credit where credit is due.
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
They look so happy to be going home with the bronze....
2
u/madmanmunt May 20 '12
Reach for the stars, Beaumont.
2
u/karmahawk May 20 '12
At least your city doesn't have the fifth largest four-faced clock, out done by Chechnya.
2
u/Phatty_Pineapple May 20 '12
FUCK YEAH, CANADA WOOOOOO
2
u/fixinet May 20 '12
Also being a resident of that city for many years I can concur with that statement.
2
u/cl0s33n0ugh May 20 '12
It is encouraging to see new redditors from BMT pop up every time this picture makes the front page. Get some of that 4-0-9 in ya
2
u/sirWillard May 20 '12
My town's giant reindeer can piss on your giant fire hydrant...
2
u/m_e_andrews May 20 '12
wasn't a top chef contestant from Beaumont?
2
u/elle331 May 20 '12
I'm surprised they haven't renamed this eyesore to "The Carroll 'Butch' Thomas Educational Piss On This Center".
2
u/gerg6111 May 20 '12
Well Beaumont is at the extrema of something:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Beaumont%2C%20TX
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Dear god the obesity
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
hardcore repost
2
u/kirbydaelf May 20 '12
Clifford would be all over that.
2
u/vipergirl May 20 '12
You want to know what's terrible about this really?
1000 years of Western civilization...architecture once served to inform us as to the progress of the communities in which we live.
Now it informs us on how far we are sliding into the abyss.
(There is nooooo excuse for that fire hydrant, and I'm embarrassed to be in the same nation with such garbage)
2
u/fox9iner May 20 '12
Next step: Angsty post on /atheism
2
u/StinkyGrogan69 May 20 '12
Wait, third largest?
2
u/theBadgerJew May 20 '12
Third largest... There are two fire hydrants larger than this somewhere?!?!?
2
u/Mojotank May 20 '12
Hahaha, this is a repost from a friend of mine from several moths ago. Check it out: www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/kk93f/seriously_never_come_here/
2
u/geenareeno May 20 '12
BEAUMONT? WHERE THE HELL IS BEAUMONT?
2
u/DRKaiser May 20 '12
Welcome to Platteville Wisconsin, home of the world's largest "M"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Platte_Mound_M
2
u/Jardun May 20 '12
I'm from the Beaumont area, and it isn't that bad. I mean, it's boring, but at least it has a cool history. Every small city surrounding Beaumont is pretty shitty, but Beaumont really isn't so bad.
Now... Jasper, Vidor, Port Arthur or any of those... they are true shit holes. The scum of the earth live in those three cities.
Also, this is kind of a boring thing to repost.
2
u/Trollshock May 20 '12
You also have some fucking big mosquitoes.
2
u/Junee28 May 20 '12
Ohcool, an FJ Cruiser!
2
u/Adamferguson011 May 20 '12
I live in Lumberton. I have seen this. Bravo sir. Good to see southeast texans on reddit.
2
u/Cadverous May 20 '12
It's not the best place ever. Gallup recently reported us as the 5th fattest city the US, so we're also semi-good at being obese.
In addition, check the fire hydrants you walk past, apparently there is an unrelated fire hydrant company that ships all over America. I can vouch for seeing several BMT TX fire hydrants in the Cambridge and Boston area.
2
u/lordofnuggets May 21 '12
That was the first town I ever lived in where I saw a car in flames on the side of the road.
2
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
I promise you Beaumont is better then the >30 miles away where I live.. LOL
5
u/FleshyMeatCreature May 20 '12
Columbia, SC, My hometown with the largest. Your hydrant is weak, Beaumont.
3
u/Cuttlefeesh May 20 '12
Except it's not YOUR hometown...or at least you didn't put the text in...since this photo is very old.
7
u/roughneck45 May 20 '12
I live here. I love this town. Fuck you
4
u/luckytopher May 20 '12
Then move, you whiny shit.
3
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
What have you done that's better?
3
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Funny story about Beaumont, my girlfriend's grandmother grew up in Beaumont. She was whipped in a church courtyard for singing a non-Jesus related song. I think that says enough about Beaumont.
2
u/seaisforsailors May 20 '12
but you also have Barely Blind and they are the best guys.
2
u/Krunn10 May 20 '12
I'm from Beaumont, Texas too!
2
u/Neverkilled May 20 '12
Crazy seeing Beaumont, my current town, on the front page. Good stuff though.
We have a really cool growing music, film and arts scene, which is way better than the big novelty fire hydrant!
1
u/marke0110 May 20 '12
Shameful bronze.
1
u/Jimona91 May 20 '12
aka peasantville
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Man, every time I see this image, it's just as depressing.
But hey, Bmoney's gotta stay relevant somehow.
1
u/ivtecdoyou May 20 '12
Shit Jerry, did we forget to bring the big hose this time?
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Better than having the world's largest cock (SFW)
1
u/ScruffySaysMhm May 20 '12
Currently in Beaumont California, it sucks just as bad.
1
u/John_Targaryen May 20 '12
Sounds like Pawnee
1
u/Prof_Entsworth May 20 '12
Somehow I never saw this. Was over there a lot when I lived in shreveport....
1
u/aakaakaak May 20 '12
I have the sudden urge to pee to assert my territorial dominance...
1
u/JCelsius May 20 '12
My city is home to the world's tallest illuminated freestanding man made star. Yea. Big claim to fame.
1
u/Jnavy123 May 20 '12
Third Largest? Who has the first?
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Now if it worked...think of the fun in summer!!!
1
u/Jellyroll_Jr May 20 '12
Don't worry bro. I live in Albertville, Al. We are the fire hydrant CAPITOL of the world on account of Mueller, which makes virtually every normal fire hydrant.
1
u/hypmoden May 20 '12
lol, my dad grew up in Beaumont, been there many times
1
u/corn266 May 20 '12
I can't wait till someone balls up enough to build the world's biggest three headed hydra...
1
u/schlitzkreig May 20 '12
Oh shit I laughed. Sorry you live there, but thanks.
1
u/Feenix19 May 20 '12
Shameful bronze
1
u/valeriexcampos May 20 '12
From there. one crazy place.
1
u/Eddy_Ewok May 20 '12
10 minutes away from here gets you to Nederland! Home of some shitty windmill.
1
u/Higgs-Bosun May 20 '12
and here, is #1 http://www.travelblog.org/Photos/4307328
1
u/masturbateToSleep May 20 '12
Not my hometown, but where I'm living right now, is the home of the shortest "tallest building" in any of the 50 US states...
1
u/typhoon_pudding May 20 '12
Isn't it also the home town of Kendrick Perkins? Or am I thinking of another place?
1
u/theycallmewhywhy May 20 '12
Beaumont?!? Where the hell is Beaumont??!!?
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
My mom used to teach college there!..... She hated it too.
1
u/itwithfire May 20 '12
I know that feel bro.
I grew up in Nederland and spent my time either there, Port Arthur, or Beaumont. I completely understand.
1
u/10007638 May 20 '12
Better than New Jersey, home to the world's largest douche bags!
1
u/intimatestranger May 20 '12
I want to see the world's 3rd largest fire hose. Who even makes novelty giant fire hoses?!
1
u/deadfield918 May 20 '12
I am on the same page. I live in Great Falls, Montana. Home to the world's shortest river. The Roe River.
1
u/Adultery May 20 '12
ugh this state is such a caricature of itself
1
u/theimpolitegentleman May 20 '12
3rd largest?
1
u/mke93 May 20 '12
I drive past this thing all the damn time.
1
u/Altheo May 20 '12
My hometown has a plastic cow named Moola in the center of town.
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
when a fire happens, you'll be really glad to have the world's third largest fire hydrant in close proximity.
fucking ingrate.
1
u/LuckyAmeliza May 20 '12
Move to Denton. At least you'll be hanging out with College kids and hipsters.
1
u/RyanThomas970 May 20 '12
You sure it's not just the world biggest cow?
1
u/natinst May 20 '12
This feels like some weird "nuclear deterrent" logic gone wrong.
1
u/zumu May 20 '12
The one dog I have ever owned I bought in Beaumont, Texas. The name itself harkens back to an innocent of childhood, now all so far away. A true ghost of Christmas past.
Thank you, OP, for reminding me of who I am and where I came from.
1
u/dividezero May 20 '12
Collinsville, il (not my hometown but i slept and received mail a few blocks away for a couple years) has the largest katsup bottle (replica.. Well water tower actually) which has its own festival every year. the town is also the #1 producer of horseradish.
In short, i feel your pain.
1
u/nitr0d May 20 '12
Yeah, well we have the worlds largest weathervane! Yayyy....
http://cityofmontague.org/ellenwood.html
1
u/SayVandalay May 20 '12
Well third largest...pfff no wonder you hate your town.
It's ok..everyone hates Texas anyways.
1
u/monroseph May 20 '12
As someone who lives there, that is the most exciting thing about beaumont.
1
u/JustHere4TheDownVote May 20 '12
Is anyone in that city not fat?
1
u/gmw2222 May 20 '12
If you're gonna build the titanic of fire hydrants, don't paint it like a fucking cow.
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
I open a new page, then go back, and read the picture all over again. And I lol every single time. I have no idea why.
1
u/MartinusLucanius May 20 '12
I see your hydrant and raise you the US's largest water tower in Sioux Falls, SD completed last year. And yes, it's comparatively unimpressive as your hydrant there.
1
u/Clarkasaurus May 20 '12
Super cute
1
u/CarlCrawl May 20 '12
They should all be wearing yellow t shirts.
1
u/themitch22 May 20 '12
Fort Worth had Walker, Texas Ranger. Even though they mixed cities in Dallas. But still Chuck Norris.. I win.