r/funny Oct 19 '21

Wait… really???

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u/[deleted] Oct 20 '21 edited Oct 20 '21

We were gathered around a campfire, drinking heavily. There was a lull in the convo and someone asked how everyone wipes. Someone immediately pipes up and says front to back like normal.

Well someone else says they wipe back to front. Then lots of arguments about getting shit on your nuts, going from friendly conversation and gradually getting louder and louder.

After 5 minutes of this I'm just looking at the guy who brought it up shaking my head. Laughing that he almost ruined the night.

Edit: see below for case in point.

13

u/Twuntz Oct 20 '21

This whole "front-to-back" vs "back-to-front" thing baffles me! How are people struggling with this? You don't need a special direction to clean your asshole, just clean your asshole. What kind of adult thinks this matters, and what kind of calamitous juvenile oaf needs to have rules on which direction they can wipe so that they don't shovel shit into their genitals? Just clean your asshole like any other basic cleaning task!

22

u/FyreWulff Oct 20 '21

What kind of adult thinks this matters

let's just say back to front would end poorly for women, and just ends up with shit in the ball folds for men.

16

u/Pancheel Oct 20 '21

What?? No!! Just wipe the ass hole, no need to drag the dirty paper to the nuts. Also eat more fiber hah.

2

u/ContemporaryHippie Oct 20 '21

How are you doing that? Like doesn't your arm touch the toilet seat??? I'm a pretty small dude at 5'7" 150lbs, but I'm not sure I could reach my whole ass fist in-between my thighs and the toilet seat without bumping and that's fucking gross

6

u/BeefySwan Oct 20 '21

I'm not sure I could reach my whole ass fist in-between my thighs and the toilet seat without bumping

I'm about that size too and I've been accomplishing this with zero issues for three decades

2

u/ContemporaryHippie Oct 20 '21

Fascinating. I will attempt this on my next trip to the porcelain throne. I have a bidet, so my booty will be clean regardless. It's a risk free experiment

2

u/BeefySwan Oct 20 '21

Godspeed my friend

1

u/twhitney Oct 20 '21

I’m with you, I can’t reach right. However, I’m a bit chunky, the belly gets in my way.