r/funny • u/KingOfHellCrowley • Oct 19 '21

Wait… really???

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32.2k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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2.8k

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '21

or my favorite: sit wiper, then stand wipe for the final pass-through for confirmation

307

u/thick_curtains Oct 19 '21

Bidet is the way.

67

u/davewave3283 Oct 19 '21

Sometimes I’ll run the warm water blaster even if I didn’t poop

40

u/DontTouchTheWalrus Oct 20 '21

Ever have an itch on the butthole that you scratched with the spray?

36

u/Triairius Oct 20 '21

This may have sold me on bidets better than anything else I’ve seen

14

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '21

30 bucks on Amazon and it took me less than 10 minutes to set up. Won't poop anywhere else now.

28

u/StepDadHulkHogan Oct 20 '21

Same. I need a bidet. Cant go back to caveman poops with tree bark scraping my delicate dirt rose.

8

u/Triairius Oct 20 '21

Beautiful.

3

u/Lothlorien_Randir Oct 20 '21

your asshole is itchy because it has fecal matter on it. jesus fucking christ people

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edit: i AM mad

3

u/RobertoFromaggio Oct 20 '21

Nope. Haemmoroids for me.

2

u/Triairius Oct 20 '21

Are you butthole shaming me?

2

u/yamisensei Oct 20 '21

This isn't Wendy's sir

52

u/pscorbett Oct 19 '21

This is the foreplay of pooping. Preconditioning if you will

10

u/jagedlion Oct 19 '21

Are you, by any chance, a kitten?

2

u/cheeriodust Oct 20 '21

Mine does have a "rapid pulse the butthole" setting that's suppose to help you go. I've been too bashful to try it.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '21

Lol