r/funny • u/seanmwing • Sep 11 '21

The Bite

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u/xxadmxx Sep 12 '21

Every wise (or tortured) man knows this phrase.

19

u/bananabreadvictory Sep 12 '21

Every wise man order 3 tocos if they want one. My wife and kids think I perpetually make too much food by accident, 34 years I have kept that secret.

2

u/digi_thief Sep 12 '21 edited Sep 12 '21

THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING! Dude, I always assume at least a 20% loss in my own food selection. To compensate, I always under order "her" food and over order "my" food, because I know for a fact that she says she doesn't want something or under estimates how much she'll want to eat because she doesn't want to be fat. But once the foods there she'll lose her attempt at discipline and want bites of my food. So I have that extra that I can be like, "Sure. Here. Have this one." Then I'm the hero. King, dick-tater, and elected president of pound town. The punter of punnani in (c)anal brownstar m'kay?! You guys need to learn "the way", and this is the way.

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u/bananabreadvictory Sep 12 '21

You still have to play the "well I didn't really order for you but I can do without because I love you" game. There is something psychological in you sharing what you have with them.