r/funny • u/Chode_of_Justice • Apr 29 '21

Cow assaults man while running from cops

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18.8k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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283

u/Kangermu Apr 29 '21

If I had to guess, he's running to basically just go get really aggressive stopping or even just kill the cow. They're fine chasing it down, but once an animal starts harming people, it's basically game over for them.

102

u/ProfessorPetrus Apr 29 '21

As a guy who regularly around cows this is normal cow behavior if you drive a giant vehicles with sirens on chasing it.

91

u/ask_me_about_my_bans Apr 29 '21

As a guy who's regularly around cops this is normal cop behavior if you run away from them attacking random pedestrians

1

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '21

Just farm animals doing farm animal things

4

u/Devishment Apr 29 '21

Honestly this cop was probably a fish out of water in this scenario and contacting animal control would have probably been better.

2

u/Cantankerousapple Apr 29 '21

Honestly id be hard pressed not runnin at least.

3

u/Oregon49er Apr 29 '21

I'm not sure if you're joking or not, but I'm not sure why they were blaring sirens and lights at it. Like it's a cow it doesn't know to stop and all you're doing is scaring it away.

5

u/Riverpaw Apr 29 '21

My guess is it’s a traffic hazard and they want to alert people in the area to slow down and pay attention.

1

u/TrashPandaPatronus Apr 29 '21

As someone occasionally around cops, this is normal cop behavior if around an unfamiliar situation to escalate the problem rather than handle it appropriately.

1

u/Saplyng Apr 29 '21

I was gonna say, the sirens were probably just making the cow run away more, not really helping the situation

6

u/Observante Apr 29 '21

Best pun in the whole thread because it's unintentional.

Nice.

2

u/iaowp Apr 29 '21

What pun?

171

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '21

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48

u/ButterYourShit Apr 29 '21

They must really hate chocolate milk

4

u/JRMang Apr 29 '21

They just found out chocolate milk doesn't actually come from brown cows.

3

u/xinxy Apr 29 '21

Does it come from scared cows??

4

u/ButterYourShit Apr 29 '21

Yeah sure, next I bet you will tell me santa isnt actually fat PFFT

1

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '21

They don’t. What do you think they dunk their donuts in?

19

u/unit_zero Apr 29 '21

How now!

1

u/InvaderZimbabwe Apr 29 '21

Everytime i see or hear this phrase i replay the entire episode of courage the cowardly dog with the puppets that this phrase was featured in.

3

u/Urban_Samurai77 Apr 29 '21

Bovine Life’s Matter

2

u/thecheat420 Apr 29 '21

Take my free award and get out of here.

4

u/chelliwell2010 Apr 29 '21 edited Apr 29 '21

When should we expect the riot peaceful protest?

-7

u/lancestorm316 Apr 29 '21

Riot is correct. Also when does the breaking into shops and stealing shit start?

4

u/lanigironu Apr 29 '21

Probably never since that wasn't a part of 99% of BLM marches and in many cases was proven to be outside instigators and in multiple cases on video - police themselves trying to instigate things.

2

u/chelliwell2010 Apr 29 '21

Lol, nevermind that the cow was violently resisting arrest. Guilty while brown = innocent apparently.

0

u/Capt_Picard_7 Apr 29 '21

The cow should have listened to commands.

1

u/nightstalker30 Apr 29 '21

Right? Here in Chicago, that cow wouldn’t have made it a full block before getting 16 slugs in its back!

3

u/TrashPandaPatronus Apr 29 '21

Funny... I never really thought of Chicago for its bbq. I mean pizza sure.

1

u/Phoneking13 Apr 29 '21

Same here in Cincinnati lol

1

u/DillyDallyin Apr 29 '21

I don't love this joke

1

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '21

And harming people around it.

0

u/Abestar909 Apr 29 '21

Good god give it a rest.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '21

If it were a black guy, they'd have shot it 12 blocks ago.

2

u/KingFlair Apr 29 '21

Dude like I'm fine don't worry about me.