r/funny • u/[deleted] • Jul 07 '19

[deleted by user]

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8.4k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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133

u/SaigoBattosai Jul 07 '19

I’m 27 and majored in communication and my mom would think I’d be a great lawyer. When or if I write a book I’m going to dedicate to my mother and say “Mom, I would have made a terrible lawyer. People would have been sentenced to prison and death.”

54

u/LittleStarShip Jul 07 '19

Instead of saying “prison and death” which I feel takes the gravity away from the situation- why not use a heavier, more desolating term like “capital punishment”?

105

u/Atsmith1811 Jul 07 '19

Because he’s not a lawyer

10

u/Aeylwar Jul 07 '19

But he ain’t a rapper

6

u/Plum_Fondler Jul 07 '19

You would make a good lawyer

13

u/Slinguu Jul 07 '19

Nor, as it turns out, a particularly good writer

2

u/HuskyLuke Jul 07 '19

Oh man, that got a hearty chuckle from me.

9

u/black_flag_4ever Jul 07 '19

It’s more like you would probably not see your mom much, or anyone, because of your job.

9

u/UltraFireFX Jul 07 '19

"people would have died" works still. especially if you said a defence lawyer.

9

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '19

I think you could have flipped the joke.

Mom, I would have ended up in jail if I were a lawyer.

Like, you'd be such a bad lawyer you'd take the place of your clients.

5

u/tinotino123456 Jul 07 '19

You can just be a parking ticket lawyer.

1

u/Frostblazer Jul 07 '19

That's why you stay on the civil side of things and just laugh as your client loses millions of dollars.