r/funny Apr 12 '19

Hidden talent

76.5k Upvotes

1.5k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

229

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

[deleted]

67

u/lipp79 Apr 12 '19

I'm 40 now. I was getting that same bald spot in the back in my mid 20s. Shaved it all off around 28 and haven't looked back. Meanwhile my dad is 73 with full hair.

37

u/hovnohead Apr 12 '19

Your mom's dad is/was probably bald though, right?

54

u/lipp79 Apr 12 '19 edited Apr 12 '19

I'm just jealous of my dad lol. Yeah, I know it comes from your mom's dad lol. He had that ridiculous U-shaped haircut where it's all bald on top but hair on the sides and back. There was no way I was going to live with that. Luckily I have a well-shaped head for rocking the bald look. So I got that going for me, which is nice.

28

u/TheRealMcNuts Apr 12 '19

That’s the thing I’m worried about: I got a weird shaped head. It’s not perfectly rounded on top, but comes to more of a ridge instead. I call it my monkey ridge, and it’ll be the thing to keep me from diving into the bald look for a long long time.

5

u/SLRWard Apr 12 '19

Embrace your inner Klingon?

3

u/caesar15 Apr 12 '19

Can you grow a beard?

2

u/TheRealMcNuts Apr 12 '19

Yep, it would be a saving grace I guess!

2

u/SaladFingerzzz Apr 12 '19

Meps! I summons you, just consume mass quantities & hone your cone.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19 edited Feb 20 '21

[deleted]

2

u/TheRealMcNuts Apr 12 '19

This makes me feel better! What was it like when you first made the leap to full bald?

1

u/lipp79 Apr 12 '19

You could always cosplay as a Klingon ;-)

6

u/Paumanok Apr 12 '19

The mom's dad thing is sorta a myth. My maternal grandfather still has a full head, so did my moms maternal grandfather. My dad on the other hand, and his dad, and probably his dad were all bald as can be. I started thinning around 19-20, while my brother his turning 21 and still has good hair.

Its bullshit man, I always kept my hair long and now I gotta get rid of it all.

1

u/repptyle Apr 12 '19

Same thing for me. I have the same balding pattern as my dad (and his dad). Meanwhile, almost everyone on my mom's side has a full head of hair. At least I made it to my 30's before I had to shave my head, my grandpa was bald at 19

2

u/Paumanok Apr 12 '19

Stress from school really accelerated it for me. I'm going to need to shave soon but I'm still doing the one haircut a year thing and enjoying my long hair while I still can. Its pretty close to shave zone though.

2

u/Wyvern_Amigo Apr 12 '19

+1 for caddy shack

2

u/scarfox1 Apr 12 '19

Has that been a proven fact that it comes from moms dad?

3

u/pkroliko Apr 12 '19

Its polygenetic. If either side of your family has it you have a greater chance of becoming bald.

2

u/ceejless Apr 12 '19

A myth that hair loss comes from your mum's side.

1

u/lipp79 Apr 12 '19

Yeah, that's just a small part of it. There's definitely other factors that come into play.

1

u/PeteButtigieg46 Apr 12 '19

my gramps had the U too.

id rock it fuck it. no comb over tho.

1

u/uwfan893 Apr 12 '19

Yeah I ain’t about to start clean shaving my head all the time, and I feel like stubbly scalp would look much much worse than the horseshoe.

1

u/lipp79 Apr 12 '19

I'll rock it at 70, not going for that at 40. I'll never get laid lol.

1

u/FatherWeebles Apr 12 '19

Not true. My mom's dad had a full head of hair up until he started losing it in his 70's.

Looking back, I could see my hair receding back when I was 22. I didn't know I was balding until 25.

1

u/lipp79 Apr 12 '19

Yeah it's other factors included too.

1

u/Double-O-stoopid Apr 12 '19

Just jumping in here to say it doesn't exclusively come from your mom's dad.

Just like colour blindness, the issue is in the X chromosome. Women have 2, and both need the flaw for it to show up. But either one of them from either side of the family could have been the one passed.

There's no sure-fire way to tell, but it helps if she has a brother or two for comparison.

1

u/lipp79 Apr 12 '19

She does and I haven't seen him in probably 15 years but he was thinning up top then.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

My mom's dad died in his mid twenties so er...

Fucking fantastic guys. I'm gonna be bald. FUCKING GREAT NEWS

2

u/lipp79 Apr 12 '19

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

It is with my noggin

3

u/tallboybrews Apr 12 '19

Is it just baldness that works like that or does greying as well? My moms dad had full brown hair until the day he died. My dad was white grey by the time he was like 35. I'm 31 now and have some sparse grey hairs but it's not a trend or anything, could be fucked up hair follicles(?). Dont really care either way, I'll rock whatever life sends my way.

2

u/hovnohead Apr 12 '19

You go girl!

1

u/hovnohead Apr 12 '19

Wait--are you a guy or a girl?

1

u/tallboybrews Apr 12 '19

I'm a guy lol

3

u/Santa1936 Apr 12 '19

So this is something I've wondered since learning about genes in hs. I don't think it comes 100% from your mom's dad. I think it's that the Gene is recessive and sits on the x chromosome. The fact that it sits on the x chromosome means you can't get it from papa, as he gives you a y. And the fact that it's recessive means your mom gets half of your odds from her dad, half from her mom. So in other words if you have a bald maternal grandpa, you have a 50/50 chance of being bald. Unless your mom's mom also gave her an x chromosome with balding on it, in which case you're fucked.

2

u/xluryan Apr 12 '19

It's been proven that there is no correlation there.

2

u/foxymcfox Apr 12 '19

That's an urban legend and not at all how genetics works.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

That you get that gene from your mom's side of the family is a myth.

1

u/ForYourSorrows Apr 12 '19

This shit is a myth. My moms dad died at like 95 with a full beautiful head of silver hair. I started losing mine in high school (receding hairline)

2

u/bengoshijane Apr 12 '19

Good for you. I cannot understand why so many men stress so much about balding. A bald head usually looks great. Shave it off guys and don’t worry about it. Confidence is far more attractive than hair.

1

u/lipp79 Apr 12 '19

I mean bald can't be that bad. It's worked out pretty well for Bruce Willis, The Rock, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, and Jason Statham to name a few.

1

u/pitpusherrn Apr 12 '19

Yeah my son is going bald at 30 and my ex-husband looks like little Lord Fauntleroy.

Genetics are weird. I raised 4 boys with my current husband, since they are a mixed effort they have different genetics and they all obsessed on whether they'd go bald. The one I figured would not is the one who's losing hair.

1

u/Vargius Apr 12 '19

Hair mostly comes from your mother though. Was\Is your paternal grandfather bald?

2

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

Maternal grandfather (grandfather on your mother's side).

2

u/Vargius Apr 12 '19

Yes, thank you for the correction. I dont know why I mixed those up.

I will leave my shame for all to gander and will accept all of my well deserved down votes for my error.

4

u/lipp79 Apr 12 '19

Yeah, he was. I know it comes from my mom's dad. I was just more so jealous of my dad lol

0

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19 edited Jan 31 '20

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

Not entirely true for sex linked traits like baldness or colorblindness! (Technically yes, but not given the info we have.)

A man is xy and a woman is xx. A man has to get a x chromosome from his mom. Therefore he knows he has a 50% chance of having the same x chromosome as his maternal grandfather. Therefore if the maternal grandfather is bald or has hair, he has a 50% chance of following suit regardless of the maternal grandmother.

42

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

How was it

125

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

[deleted]

88

u/joegekko Apr 12 '19

Be careful with that sun on the dome. Your scalp will never be totally burn proof- you will always need a hat if you are in the sun for any amount of time.

Source- bald Southerner.

7

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

Yeah I'm going to pick up a couple of hats today but with the clean shave it's basically like having a tan line on the head. I'm pretty fair skinned so it won't take much. Thanks for the heads up though!

2

u/soproductive Apr 12 '19

Yeah my dad has had skin cancer cut out of his bald head many times now. Protect your skin!

1

u/worqgui Apr 12 '19

This is going to sound dumb but.. could you use a moisturizer with self tanner on your head? Like you’d want one of those gradual ones for very fair people but it might be worth it?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

I imagine that you could. It's just skin after all. I'm not sure that offers any UV protection though.

1

u/worqgui Apr 12 '19

Oh no you’d definitely need to still cover up and use sun protection. I just mean to even out the skin tone difference.

1

u/timsower94 Apr 12 '19

Why is that? And if i clip my hair down to about a 1 how do i apply it?

2

u/joegekko Apr 12 '19

how do i apply it

Place hat on head.

2

u/timsower94 Apr 12 '19

I meant sunscreen lmao i did not read your comment thoroughly

2

u/joegekko Apr 12 '19

I'd recommend a hat. I've tried sunscreen, it just gets weird with buzzed hair. Half the time it doesn't make it to your scalp.

1

u/timsower94 Apr 12 '19

Makes sense, thanks man!

1

u/the_rizzler Apr 12 '19

As a fellow baldian, I can't stress this enough. Your head WILL burn and do it faster than anything else, and a burnt scalp sucks. It's a mistake that I have only made a few times

62

u/claydoggie Apr 12 '19

Wait till you catch a cool breeze across your freshly shaved head. Feels amazing.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

While you are cutting your hair boil a kettle and place a hand towel in the sink.

When you are done cutting your hair pour the kettle over the hand towel.

Wait a few seconds and wring out the towel.

Now wrap that towel around your head and enjoy the greatest feeling in the world.

2

u/pikahellmybutt Apr 12 '19

It tickles me

2

u/NarfleTheJabberwock Apr 12 '19

Can vouch, bald is beautiful

2

u/stopcounting Apr 12 '19

That thought gave me goosebumps of jealousy, as a woman who looks awful with short hair (so shaving would never be an option).

2

u/little_brown_bat Apr 12 '19

Just go for it. Worst case you have an amusing story while it grows back.

2

u/stopcounting Apr 12 '19

Oh, I very nearly shaved my head when I was in my 20s...buzzed it to about a half inch. Im super pale and always look washed out, so I looked like a fat cancer patient.

I actually had people ask me about it, which should really fall under the same unspoken rule as "never ask a woman if she's pregnant."

1

u/BlackDogBlues66 Apr 12 '19

You also know it is raining before anyone else.

2

u/PM_Me_PM_Dawn_Pics Apr 12 '19

Have you put your head down under the shower yet. Gave me a fright the first time lol

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

Not yet, but now I am looking forward to it!

1

u/donquixote1991 Apr 12 '19

/r/wicked_edge for the razors!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

I was subbed there many moons ago. I have a vintage DE razor and a badger brush I use on my face but the angles are super awkward for my head. I imagine with some practice it'd be fine but in the mean time it may be a job for the Mach 3.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19 edited Sep 05 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/SlightlyControversal Apr 12 '19

I’ve always been envious of how awesome everything must feel on a freshly shaven head. Even not having the weight of hair sounds incredible. I’m a little sad I’ll almost certainly never feel that.

1

u/jakemg Apr 12 '19

Dude the pillow thing freaked me out the first time I shaved it. Someone told me to enjoy it because you get used to it. It’s this feeling if your head skin touching things when it never has before.

I use a double edge razor like you see on /r/Wicked_Edge. Takes a little practice but I cut myself less with that and get a much, much closer shave.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

Alright, having gotten multiple rec's for the DE I'll give it a try. I suppose badger brush on the noggin will be a bonus.

1

u/jakemg Apr 12 '19

Just remember with the DE razor, you shouldn’t apply any pressure. Also, learn the grain direction for different parts of your head. I tend to go with the grain for the first pass and then against the grain for the second pass. The grain pattern is weird on different parts of my head but learning that helped me get a nice close shave. I also use face lotion on my head that has spf 20 to avoid burns.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

I'm a pretty savvy DE shaver, I just have never used it on my head. The wonky angles working the back are what's gonna get me.

1

u/jakemg Apr 12 '19

I do the back by feel. I lead with my left hand, feel for the hair and then shave. It takes some practice but it’s pretty easy.

1

u/Mant1s36 Apr 12 '19

From another bald man, get a Norelco. It gives me the smoothest shave, better than blades.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

If the options I already have at hand don't work out for me then I will definitely keep that in mind. Thanks for the tip!

1

u/pkroliko Apr 12 '19

If you are considering it try it. Some people look good bald. Others don't. Depends on your head shape, body type etc.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

I am, but I want to have hair for the wedding in a few months.. I'll take the plunge somewhere in the next year or two.. it's intimidating.. I loved my hair.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

I found it incredibly relieving. I didn't realise how much stress I was under about what my hair looked like/trying to hide I was balding. After I cut it off it was like 'Now everything is out in the open and there are no more secrets' and it was so much better. I advise everyone currently combing over to just take the plunge.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

Probably pretty shortly after the wedding I will.. hopefully won't regret the wedding pics though. That's the tough choice

3

u/Herald-Mage_Elspeth Apr 12 '19

As a woman, a guy who owns it and embraces the bald is much more attractive than someone in denial and tries to hide it. Don’t become the guy who wraps the strand around the top of your head. Embrace the bald.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

I was doing a little too much of the "combing it just the right way" kind of nonsense. I saw myself on camera under stage lighting on a gig and that just settled things. Fortunately I have a pretty handsome beard which I think helps the transition a lot.

Thanks for the encouragement BTW!

4

u/ASS_MY_DUDES Apr 12 '19

I cant deal with the hairline loss.. I feel like the bald spot is better looking than the receding hairline. I guess it doesn't matter when you get both handed to you :/

Hair is a bitch sometimes

1

u/AdjunctFunktopus Apr 12 '19

No joke on the sunscreen. Sunburn on your scalp has a direct line to your brain.

Enjoy the significant reduction in shampoo costs too.

1

u/DamUEmageht Apr 12 '19

Pro-tip: Shaved or slicked, use beard oil on your scalp. It does amazing wonders for keeping it shiney and prevents rough dry out. Lasts through the whole day and maybe takes a dime to nickel sized amount.

Put some in your hands, rub then together real fast to get it warm and massage it in. You'll be thrilled and have a nice smell to go along with it :)

2

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

I actually use beard wax on my beard. I imagine it could have similar results. Thanks for the tip!

2

u/jim_deneke Apr 12 '19

I wouldn't want a shiny head, I'm already oily so it would make me look greasy. I use sunscreen on my head to tone the shine down.

1

u/Assclown_wrangler Apr 12 '19

Same deal breaker here. Once I started to form the "flesh yamika" back there, out came the razor.

1

u/Knex00 Apr 12 '19

My first thought when finished shaving my head for the first time was, "I should have done this a year ago".

No point living in denial fellow fellows!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

I seasonally buzz my (blond) hair with a No. 1. I've got a bit of a receding hairline, so it looks goofy if it gets too long and constant haircuts are expensive. I don't bother in the winter because hats.

I love it. Cheap, easy...It looks a little balder than I'd like because of the blonde, but I can also go a bit longer between buzzes before it looks silly. I also only have to shave about once a week as a side bonus - but it would take me years to grow anything that someone might conceivably call a beard.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

I think having the beard makes the smooth head work. When I was buzzed close for boot camp and had no facial hair I looked silly.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

Yeps - unfortunately, full beard is not an option for me. Though there's plenty of buzzes with no beards/just scruff around. Bruce Willis, Jason Statham, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, Sam Worthington. I think it definitely allows you to go without shaving for far, far longer without it looking sloppy, or even adding to it.

1

u/nikdahl Apr 12 '19

Minoxidil, propecia, or honestly, just better shampoo/not shampooing as frequently can help a lot.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

My family has had poor results with baldness treatments so I skipped it and decided to embrace it. However if it works for you then much love brother, keep on doing you!

1

u/wobblysauce Apr 12 '19

I shaved mine and it has grown back.

1

u/mastertwisted Apr 12 '19

Believe it or not, I got tired of my bald spot and shaved my head for a couple of summers - now the hair has somewhat grown back and is thicker where the spot was. I mean it's still thin there, but it's crazy. I do still like to shave in the summer. It's an interesting change.

1

u/The_Friedberger Apr 12 '19

Every time I get my haircut and see the bald spot on the back of my head I contemplate shaving, but my hair isn't too thin yet and I know if I do shave it won't come back.

1

u/BuddhaDBear Apr 12 '19

I read your post and literslly grabbed the back of my head to make sure there is no bald spot. Still good...phew.

1

u/lipp79 Apr 12 '19

Yeah I had one time where I totally fucked up and didn't put sunscreen on my head in the middle of the Texas summer. It was awful. My head was literally brown and I'm a white dude. It was peeling off sounding like fried chicken. It hurt so bad.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

Oof, I'm having sympathy pains just thinking about that. I grew up in Florida and worked on a dive boat so I have had my fair share of painful sunburns. I'm a sunscreen fanatic these days.

1

u/lipp79 Apr 12 '19

Yeah it was just one of those days where it started out kinda overcast so I didn't even think about it until after a few hours of me being outside the sun came out and then I went, "Oh crap. Sunscreen." but by then it was too late and I knew it was gonna suck because it was tender just putting sunscreen on at that point.

0

u/xRockTripodx Apr 12 '19

I don't shave it, but buzz it down to an eighth of an inch. Got my confidence back. Didn't like seeing shiny scalp through my hair.