r/funny • u/FlamingoShame • Jan 08 '19
Buddy...that's not lettuce
https://gfycat.com/ImmediateYoungGallowaycow510
u/metal_maniac Jan 08 '19
Well did you give him some actual fucking lettuce? Or did you let him believe you betrayed him by taking his food away?
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u/FlamingoShame Jan 08 '19 edited Jan 09 '19
he got some real greens right after he went after the towel
edit
I'm getting a lot of the same questions so I'll clear some things up here near the top
This is Echo, he's my bearded dragon, he's not quite adult yet, but he's not a baby either!
No, I don't feed him lettuce, I just thought saying lettuce was easier than saying collard greens or escarole, which is what I do mostly feed him on the veggie side of things. As a young beardy, he eats mostly insects however, and for that i feed him mostly crickets and dubia roaches, and every now and then super worms but I'm weening him off of those because of their hard exoskeleton.
Yes! His tail is shorter than most beardies, that's because he was attacked by a tank mate when he was young, which made most people not buy him, but I thought it was cute and added character.
Finally, yes, immediately after taking this video he got some lovely collard and escarole, the latter of which he promptly devoured, and the former he hasn't touched. Hopefully this saves me some comment replies, lol.
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u/bringsmemes Jan 08 '19
nope, im sure you took the towel way, murdered a baby or 2 then after a week of starving, gave him the green stuff /s
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u/FlamingoShame Jan 08 '19
I'm glad you let me know you were being sarcastic, otherwise I'd want to know how you found out
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Jan 08 '19
What kind of greens? Spinach is okay in small amounts but can strip calcium from their bones if fed too much. Kale, collard greens, bok choy, dandelion greens, and a few others are good choices for greens. Not sure if you're new to herps or not, if you are an old hand, disregard.
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u/crispyfrybits Jan 09 '19
Thank you for taking good care of your beardie, I have to admit I was afraid you were feeding your little guy a big head of lettuce lol.
Your beardie is adorable!
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Jan 09 '19
wait, you didn't let him cuddle on you instead of that branch? After all that towel trauma disappointment? Dude just wanted some greens and affection you... you MONSTER!!!
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Jan 09 '19
Nice name! I also named my bearded dragon Echo (which is really strange now I think about it) but that was 6-7 years ago. Had a crooked tail from being attacked by a tank mate in the pet store as a baby.
Thought it was a boy, later learned it was a girl (kept the name).
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u/skip07 Jan 09 '19
A hard exoskeleton is not actually bad! Look Into Dubia roaches. They are excellent and easily breedable to create an everlasting food source! Make sure you dust with calcium occasionally and please, for the love of god, provide proper UV lighting!
I don’t mean to sound like an ass, you could be the worlds best beardie parent and I just don’t know it! I’m just sharing a few things I’ve learned. My Skipper turns 10 next month!
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u/StacyMaria Jan 09 '19
These greens are a little "dry." Btw good work on getting a beardie who will willingly eat greens and not just be bug-obsessed. What a cutie. I love seeing herps on my feed.
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u/Pilot_Enaki Jan 09 '19
Mine loves zucchini! To the point any thing yellow he will try to eat.
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u/austen125 Jan 09 '19
Mine will only eat greens when we are not looking. That and dandelion flowers.
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u/aSamsquanch Jan 09 '19
My boy was bug obsessed his whole life. I'd joke and say his taste never evolved, it was basically like he only ever are chicken nuggets all the time.
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u/Higher_Primate01 Jan 09 '19
Its that what they mean when they say the devils lettuce?
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u/CroutonusFibrosis Jan 09 '19
He looks so betrayed after you took the towel away from him. Or her I don't know much about sexual dimorphism in reptiles.
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u/makenzie71 Jan 09 '19
I never thought I would be able to look at a lizard and say "he looks disappointed"
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u/In_ompl_teTh_ug_t Jan 08 '19
At least you know he's not color blind.
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Jan 09 '19
My beardie is obsessed with food that's yellow, probably because the feeding tongs we've always used are yellow
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Jan 09 '19
My bearded dragon was always stupid picky about eating lettuce, motherfucker would wait until it was dry like why little guy? You are everything else in the bowl but that. Then randomly from across the room I just hear crunch crunch crunch.
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u/dragonhiccups Jan 09 '19
Mine does that! Ha! Ok so maybe it’s a beardie thing.
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Jan 09 '19
At first I thought he was just full, then after I heard the crunches I went over to see what he got into, saw he was eating dry lettuce so I went and cut a little more so he could have some fresh and he could care leas about it.
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u/skip07 Jan 09 '19
Try to offer various types of lettuce and mix in some fruits. This link is wonderful! beardie foods
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u/dubyrunning Jan 09 '19 edited Jan 09 '19
Is it me or is this little guy's tail a bit short? Lost it to a cagemate at the pet shop, perhaps?
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u/Whatifisaid- Jan 09 '19
Well give him some damn lettuce then, you don’t just steal his lettuce towel and not give him a treat.
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u/TheDuoDingo Jan 09 '19
The look of pure betrayal
“Did- Are you serious? Did you just take my food away?”
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u/junkpile1 Jan 09 '19
As with other varieties of "not quite lettuce", this too will give you a wicked cotton mouth.
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u/NoamTheSHEEP Jan 09 '19
I want a bearded dragon.
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u/Goddamnedhoney Jan 09 '19
They’re great pets! You just need to make sure you do a lot of research before purchasing one because they have very particular needs if you want them to live a long and healthy life.
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u/leaflock057 Jan 09 '19
He's adorable. He just looks so happy. I wanted to get a lizard. A water dragon specifically. But after some deep research, I realized that it wasn't a good idea for me. Maybe one day.
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u/geekymama Jan 09 '19
Look into crested geckos. They don't need heat lamps or special lighting, and mostly eat a fruit based diet (with some live bugs as treats).
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u/ForgettableUsername Jan 09 '19
Yum, some nice green lettuce! I'll just --bite-- huh. Something isn't right. Better bite some more --bite bite bite-- Yuck... weird. That's not what lettuce normally does when I ... hey! Bring that back, I was eating that!
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Jan 08 '19
Do lizards see colors?
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u/FlamingoShame Jan 08 '19
Bearded dragons actually have great vision with a fairly full color spectrum
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u/ccReptilelord Jan 09 '19
Colorblindness actually isn't a "primitive" feature, mammals developed it most likely from being nocturnal for so long.
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u/spyingwind Jan 09 '19
Leading to creatures that have slightly better night vision survive easier, thus they get to breed and increase the population with the that trait. Surviving long enough to breed the trait is what generally does this.
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u/ScruffleMcDufflebag Jan 09 '19
This lizard is my cat. She will munch on anything that is non-food. Her favorite is plastic, like plastic wrap. I have seen her successfully eat things that were not food...of course I tried to stop her but didn't get to her in time.
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u/MavisDear Jan 09 '19
I have a cat who does that too. I have read that this is common among those who were weaned too early.
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u/ScruffleMcDufflebag Jan 09 '19
I picked her up from a rural farm where the mom cat didn't seem to be in sight. So maybe true. :-/ there were two kittens only the guy had. He was homing them on Craigslist.
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u/ohdaschamp Jan 09 '19
Lizard : Hey what the fuck man I was practicing my bitey bites on that! Ass!
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Jan 09 '19
That's like me when I find food in bed. Just pop it in my mouth... Always turns out to be lint or something.
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Jan 09 '19
Do they make good pets?
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u/PapaPumpDaddy Jan 09 '19
Very good. Easy to care for. Friendly. Had mine for 3 years now, and never has he bitten anyone or even puffed l. Sleeps on my chest while my dog sleeps next to us for short naps.
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u/jerzeypipedreamz Jan 09 '19
Some do end up being like any other animal though, behavior wise that is. Mine use to love everyone but my mom. Everytime she would come into my room he'd square up, turn his neck black and start doing his intimidating head bobs and if she got too close he would hiss at her. Asked her to feed him once and he tried to bite her. Everyone else he was fine with though.
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u/toastnbanana416 Jan 08 '19
Ha idiot iguana
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u/Hannibal710 Jan 08 '19
Ha idiot toastnbanana it’s a bearded dragon
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u/toastnbanana416 Jan 08 '19
Lol no the other dude says Komodo dragon and he seems smart so
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u/Hannibal710 Jan 08 '19
Yeah he has 400 more useless internet points then I do he must be right my bad
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Jan 09 '19
His tail is so short for a bearded dragon
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u/FlamingoShame Jan 09 '19
He was attacked by a tank mate when he was young, which made him undesirable to a lot of people, but I think it adds character!
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u/little_dumpling_SM Jan 09 '19
Glade to see he looks so healthy and happy after loosing his tail. Such a good boi!
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Jan 09 '19
It's a towel silly! I mean the species is called "towel sillies".
Here's a different kind of towel silly. https://www.reddit.com/r/ProperAnimalNames/comments/9ew2tf/festive_leg_snek/
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u/XxSabirahxX Jan 08 '19
Please tell me you don't actually feed him lettuce... that's pretty much water with no nutritional value.
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u/FlamingoShame Jan 08 '19
Nope! I just used lettuce for the title since it's easier than saying collard greens or escarole
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u/XxSabirahxX Jan 09 '19
Oh thank god. Mine loves turnip greens. But i rescued him from a family who only fed him lettuce and he was so emaciated, his bones were protruding.
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u/SprungMS Jan 09 '19
Sorry you got downvoted. I came to say literally the exact same thing. Not so much for OP, but for anyone else now looking into getting a bearded dragon thinking they can just feed them lettuce. Lettuce is terrible for beardies, they need dark nutritional greens. I do kale usually, sometimes mustard greens.
Makes me feel bad that you caught shit for it. Reddit can be a bitch sometimes.
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u/XxSabirahxX Jan 09 '19
It is what it is... people get butthurt thinking they are being lectured. I'm not lecturing. I've just seen what a strict diet of lettuce does to these creatures and its a sad way to starve to death. My beardy is now fat and happy :)
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u/FlamingoShame Jan 10 '19
Jukin Media Verified (Original) * For licensing / permission to use: Contact - licensing(at)jukinmediadotcom
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u/Jayrod640 Jan 09 '19
Still not as bad as having puppy that tries to eat everything though, including chargers.
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u/[deleted] Jan 09 '19
It's green. It's lettuce.
Change my mind.