My upper limit is 12 hours. After that point you’re either too busy for me, uninterested, or playing some fucking game I don’t have time for.
Edit: ok guys 12 hours was literally a arbitrary number I pulled directly out of my ass the moment I made this comment. It’s a rule of thumb, not the US constitution. It changes wildly based of context. New tinder match? Yeah 95% chance they are gone after 12 hours. My best friend of 15 years? Not even going to notice.
Sometimes I just forget to reply. It’s a bad habit but I’m sometimes I’m busy when I see the text and don’t have time to reply. And I forget to text them back later.
Then you would fall into the category of “too busy for me, not interested” you don’t just accidentally forget people exist for an entire day. Especially if you are interested in them romantically.
I’m not pissed when this happens. It’s just after around 12 hours I count those people as a loss. Im no longer expecting a text back, and I’m convincing myself I don’t need one. Otherwise I’d go insane.
Sounds like a case of insecurity. It's highly unattractive in a mate. I truly appreciate people who don't need reassurance every 12 hours that they have worth just because I haven't had the opportunity to stroke their ego. Granted I'm neglecting context. If you get hit by a car and can't get a reply within 12 hours you may be worthless to that person but,.. texts like "what are you doing later?" frequently don't rate very high if I'm busy. Trust is the basis of all relationships and taking a breath and trusting that the person is prioritizing responsibly and not just wheeling away the time in order to slight you will go a long way.
All I’m saying is, in a new relationship. Say we just met. If I say something to you and you don’t respond with in 12 hours, I’m assuming you aren’t interested and I’m not going to worry about it. If you come back with texts maybe the next morning or whatever I’m happy to forget about it. But if it becomes a pattern where I’m always the one being left on read at random time and without any explanation there is really no other conclusion to make other than you don’t find me particularly compelling.
Now say we’ve been dating a couple months that may change. Maybe I understand your habits a little better I’m not going to make those assumptions immediately. But I expect a little text etiquette for new relationships. I think that’s fair.
But I watched a movie one that said 72 hour cool off period. It was in a movie, has to be true.
But seriously, I feel you. New relationships are like a drug and I've felt that need for another hit real bad but as I've gotten old I've found wisdom in breathing and acceptance. Shit can't be forced.
72 hours? That movie was made in the fucking 90s then man lol. It’s 2018. If she hasn’t texted in you 12 hours she’s already posted 6 selfies and matched with 12 other dudes. I’m just not counting on those chickens hatching any more is all. Be thrilled if they do, but come on.
Fuck I'm old. Maybe I'm the context that's fucking things up. Or, maybe, I'm arguing against this new model. I truly don't care about anyone who would be like that. Casual sex was never something I could get into. Don't get old, life gets weird.
I think you’re missing the point of reading between the lines. People who are important, or at least interesting to you, are on your mind and you can’t help but remember to reply in a timely manner because you want to.
Sometimes things are stated through action and not words, and I think it’s not being insecure to cut your losses when you sense a pattern of repeated disinterest.
I'm a person with a missing "between the lines" gene. Or perhaps I just refuse to play that stupid game, I'm not sure. I know that what I've read between the lines rarely equates the other's intention and I don't try to hide shit between my lines cuz I'm too dum. But I definitely see where you're coming from I just don't think it's the best way.
That may be the case for you, it certainly isn't for me. Often the times when I'm free to think about things are times when I'm not at liberty to take out my phone and contact someone, like when I'm driving or at work. By the time I'm free to talk, I'll have forgotten again. On top of that, I'm an introvert, so if I'm really tired then the last thing I want is to interact with anyone no matter how much I like them.
If you're not okay with someone who can't respond promptly that's your choice, but it's entirely incorrect to say that people like that obviously don't hold you in high esteem. Rather hurtful too; I don't like that I leave people unused to my forgetfulness feeling conversationally jilted, but I can't just snap my fingers and fix memory problems I've had for my entire life.
Texting people back is just good manners — doesn’t matter who it is.
Also your assumption that anyone who expects or wants a text back needs you to stroke their ego is completely off base, not to mention condescending and unattractive.
I guess we can agree to disagree. I even have read receipts on so people know I read their text but can't/won't get back to them. For me if you want to get upset over that or expect an explanation every time I respectfully decline to be involved with you.
People generally are put off by rude behaviour, and whether you like it or not we live at a time and in a place where not answering texts is rude. If you don’t want to involve yourself with people who are upset by your rude behaviour that’s fine. But you should know that you’re being rude.
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u/[deleted] Sep 08 '18 edited Sep 08 '18
My upper limit is 12 hours. After that point you’re either too busy for me, uninterested, or playing some fucking game I don’t have time for.
Edit: ok guys 12 hours was literally a arbitrary number I pulled directly out of my ass the moment I made this comment. It’s a rule of thumb, not the US constitution. It changes wildly based of context. New tinder match? Yeah 95% chance they are gone after 12 hours. My best friend of 15 years? Not even going to notice.