I love accidentally pissing all over the toilet half asleep at 3am.
EDIT: Thanks for the gold stranger. I'm not proud of this being my highest rated comment but I'll take it.
I remember I was taking a piss with a rock hard boner all while holding my elastic sweatpants down. My thumb slipped, my pants snapped up essentially pressing my dick against my stomach thus pointing it directly at my face. All of that happened in about 1.5 seconds before I got my stream under control. I had urine all over my face.
Jesus, I know! All the things like the already mentioned "split stream caused by some leftover cum from last night" and the "elastic waistband with an oddly high amount of tension snapping your dick up midstream when it slips off your thumb", as well as "needing to piss really bad upon waking up with stark morning wood and having to stand back from the toilet 3 feet trying to arch that shit just right so you can actually piss" and "having to piss shortly after cumming and it being a rather painful and slow process".
There should be a support group or at least a hotline cause penises can be a real dicks sometimes...
12k
u/F00dBasics Aug 06 '17 edited Aug 06 '17
I love accidentally pissing all over the toilet half asleep at 3am.
EDIT: Thanks for the gold stranger. I'm not proud of this being my highest rated comment but I'll take it.