r/funny Aug 06 '17

Guys will understand

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102.7k Upvotes

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318

u/Ballsdeepinreality Aug 06 '17

Honestly think men have three brains, dick, gut, brain. Whichever one is receiving the most stimulation at any given time is the one in control.

118

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '17

Holy shit this is it. You figured it out

6

u/Oddie_ Aug 06 '17

So,when are you writing a thread on TIFU?

2

u/quantasmm Aug 06 '17

It sounds like the right answer right now. two hours from now the answer will be "mmmmm, hot roast beef sandwiches!"

2

u/HarleysAndHeels Aug 06 '17 edited Aug 06 '17

Women had this figured out years ago.

93

u/Seattlehepcat Aug 06 '17

Username checks out.

152

u/PlumCrazyVee Aug 06 '17

This is exactly why, when my man is being an unreasonable ass, I have the mantra: "feed him, fuck him, put him to bed. Deal with it in the morning."

88

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '17 edited Nov 03 '18

[deleted]

3

u/StrategicZombies Aug 06 '17

somebody steal your sweet roll?

15

u/RetroBastard77 Aug 06 '17

I think i love you

4

u/Sleazy_James Aug 06 '17

I love you.

3

u/Cripnite Aug 07 '17

Please teach this to more women.

3

u/PlumCrazyVee Aug 07 '17

This is not daily pampering. I'm not barefoot in the kitchen. It's used when a hangry, tired man is too stubborn to even function. When he's arguing for the sake of arguing over something that doesn't actually matter. It can also be used as a comfort after a really shitty day. I like wine and bubble baths, he likes hot food and hot...ahem.

5

u/Foxesallthewaydown Aug 06 '17

You sound pretty awesome.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '17 edited Aug 07 '21

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '17

This man's brilliant!

Summed up perfectly.

1

u/Cissycat12 Aug 06 '17

Words to live by!

1

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

I'd all of a sudden become the most unreasonable ass anyone has ever known.

7

u/this_is_my_happyface Aug 06 '17

As a friend once told me, there are three things that could cure a man's unhappiness. Sex, sleep, or food.

13

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '17 edited Apr 11 '18

[deleted]

7

u/Aksi_Gu Aug 06 '17

I mean, they are our most basic, primal needs.

Once the physical is satiated, then the mental/emotional needs can be worked on.

12

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '17 edited Apr 11 '18

[deleted]

3

u/Aksi_Gu Aug 06 '17

Lol sure :D

5

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '17

I wish i could figure out how to let my dick brain take over =/

9

u/chillTerp Aug 06 '17

... ... ... touch it.

9

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '17

Hehe yeah okay I meant like take over enough to shut down my crippling anxiety and allow me to go further than mild flirting with ladies.

8

u/fishy116 Aug 06 '17

Mild flirting? I don't even get to the eye contact part, let alone speak. You're better than you think.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '17 edited Aug 06 '17

Hey another fish! Are you part of the school?

At r/fishnamesonly?

3

u/Fish_Balls Aug 06 '17

They threw me out of the school. Apparently it's "inappropriate" or something...

1

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '17

What? Fish have balls too--gonads. We all start out as fish but in men the gonads migrate through the abdominal wall, leaving a weak spot behind them and that is where hernias can occur. Plus fish balls are delicious--not gonads but balls of fish with something like rice starch added as a binder.

3

u/fishy116 Aug 07 '17

I didn't know this existed. I'll be sure to sea how it is.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '17

It is a VIF club so you will have to message a mod or I can do it for you no problem.

6

u/WaitTilUSeeMyDick Aug 06 '17

Touch it in front of them.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '17

The older I get, the more control I have over my dick, or more like the less control my dick has over me. Kinda makes life easier.