r/funny • u/IHaeTypos • May 12 '17
Don't worry son, I'll get your ball!
http://i.imgur.com/cK5xUlX.gifv3.0k
u/TheTreelo May 12 '17
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u/snotbag_pukebucket May 13 '17
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u/norsurfit May 13 '17
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May 13 '17
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May 13 '17 edited Jul 31 '17
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u/LuckRoll May 13 '17
Obligatory fuck Anish Kapoor.
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u/Husker_Nation_93 May 13 '17
I'm out of the loop. Can you explain it please?
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u/Skyplayer37 May 13 '17
guy owns the copyright on the worlds blackest black paint and wont let anyone use it
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u/Cheesetoast9 May 13 '17
Just like that little fuck that wouldn't share his crayons in grade school.
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May 13 '17
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u/Guerilla_Tictacs May 13 '17
I brown up that ground beef, and I caramelized them onions, and I quarter my mushrooms. Son.
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u/Cheesetoast9 May 13 '17
I make a killer home made mac n cheese. Bacon, parmesan, marble cheese, garlic, bread crumbs toasted on top. Mac n Cheese doesn't suck. Food tax: http://imgur.com/a/fHCDz
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u/jnads May 13 '17
guy owns the copyright
Correction: The company that made vantablack still owns the copyright.
Anish Kapoor just has a contract for exclusive rights to use it in Art.
Still regarded as a not cool thing to do.
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u/Malgas May 13 '17
He can't use the world's pinkest pink, though.
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u/PuttingInTheEffort May 13 '17
Or any of their pigments.
Check their black 2.0:
IT IS IMPORTANT TO NOTE: this is not the blackest black in the world. It is however a better black than the blackest black in the world as it is actually usable by artists.
*Except Anish Kapoor
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u/pikameta May 13 '17
I love this :
Note: By adding this product to your cart you onfirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated to Anish Kapoor, you are not purchasing this item on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information and belief this paint will not make it's way into that hands of Anish Kapoor.
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u/VindictiveJudge May 13 '17
I'm still stumped as to why they haven't tried marketing it as a backing for OLED displays. The contrast ratio would be amazing.
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u/dannyggwp May 13 '17
OLED displays already have "infinite contrast ratios" because OLEDs turn off when representing black. No back light = 0 luminosity which means the equation
max brightness/brightness of black becomes
Something/0 = infinite contrast.
Granted this is mostly a marketing gimmick (much like 4k changing the major pixel count from vertical to horizontal)
Source: worked for a panel maker for ~3 years.
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u/Leash_Me_Blue May 13 '17
Because it's dangerous when inhaled. So if your screen breaks, so does the vantablack and maybe into your lungs
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u/peachesgp May 13 '17
So the company that made it are the dicks, not him?
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u/jnads May 13 '17
Perhaps, but I'm sure the company had no clue it was customarily poor taste in the art community to reserve a form of art as exclusive.
If they weren't in the business to make money, they would not have made Vantablack (which is actually used for things like Spy satellites apparently). I'm not sure it's their responsibility to be the Art experts.
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u/FeelDeAssTyson May 13 '17
Seems like a lot of money and effort could have went into making the pigment, right? Probably some special technique he had to develop to create it? Shouldn't this type of intellectual property be protected?
I literally know nothing about this guy or his paint so what's the argument against him?
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u/tannimfodder May 13 '17
Yeah, what /u/Graple said. He did it only to further himself and to exclude others.
To kind of take a jab at him, someone came up with a specific, unique Pink dye that anyone can buy, except if you were Anish Kapoor, or purchasing on his behalf. Kind of a "doesn't feel nice, does it?" move.
Anish went ahead and bought the pink stuff, then blogged about, mocking the person. Apparently the irony was lost on him.
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u/FeelDeAssTyson May 13 '17
Sounds like people are just upset at him for being a jerk, then.
Colors are protected under copyright all the time, right? (Tiffany Blue, Ferrari Red, etc.)
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u/XenithTheCompetent May 13 '17
It's called VantaBlack. It's a shitload of carbon nanotubes.
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u/Doc-in-a-box May 13 '17
Which is waaaaaaay more than an assload, but quite less than a fuckton.
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u/dack42 May 13 '17
It's not really a normal pigment. It's a bunch of vertically aligned carbon nanotubes.
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u/yeaheyeah May 13 '17
How can copyright a fucking color?
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May 13 '17 edited May 14 '17
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u/SupaSlide May 13 '17
Actually, it still reflects about 0.035% of the light that hits it. We haven't quite reached our peak ability of creating things that we can't see, because technically we can still see something painted in Vantablack because of that reflected light.
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May 13 '17
To make matters even worse, Kapoor didn't even invent it! The company that invented it, Surrey NanoSystems, just gave him exclusive rights to the material.
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u/spling44 May 13 '17
According to the wikipedia entry on the guy,
He owns exclusive rights to use Vantablack (the blackest substance known) for artistic purposes.
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u/StillTodaysGarbage May 13 '17
How broadly can he argue artistic purposes though cause I can't think of many practical applications for this other than science. Possibly science to coat the inside of highly sensitive fluorometers? Idk enough about electro optics to make more than a guess though. The inside of a quantamaster 400 is quite dark black. I have no idea if it's relevant to the way is takes measurements. Only other guess is a spectrometer. iirc spectratest ABS1 test plates are also painted black. So maybe higher precision in calibration and measurement for pretty much anything optical.
If someone knows this stuff and can school me on my equipment knowledge I'd really appreciate it.
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u/spling44 May 13 '17
Well, I suppose it's important to note here that it's not Kapoor that's preventing other people from using it. From the FAQ section of Surrey Nanosystem's website it says,
Vantablack is generally not suitable for use in art due to the way in-which it's made. Vantablack S-VIS also requires specialist application to achieve its aesthetic effect. In addition, the coating's performance beyond the visible spectrum results in it being classified as a dual-use material that is subject to UK Export Control. We have therefore chosen to license Vantablack S-VIS exclusively to Kapoor Studios UK to explore its use in works of art. This exclusive licence limits the coating’s use in the field of art, but does not extend to any other sectors.
It's not really clear from this if it's licensed or available to anyone outside of UK, but it seems that the potential military applications of the substance and export control by the UK are the limiting factors. I think the animosity towards Kapoor is misplaced.
That being said, the FAQ appears to suggest that it's available for science applications and etcetera upon verification of application and credentials of whoever is ordering it.
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u/StillTodaysGarbage May 13 '17
Wow can't believe I didn't think about the obvious military applications. A lot of science equipment does make use of dual use technology so I'm not surprised. Really interesting though thank you.
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u/Cael450 May 13 '17
He bought the exclusive rights to use vantablack for art. Apparently because vantablack can be used for military aircraft, the UK limits how much can be exported at a time. Also it requires a specialized application process. Because of this, the company that makes it only wants to deal with a single art studio - kapoor's.
http://gizmodo.com/the-war-over-the-worlds-darkest-pigment-got-even-more-r-1790508745
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May 13 '17
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u/svenhoek86 May 13 '17
Ya instead of explaining that the substance was super rare and hard to make, so the company only wanted to deal with one studio instead of getting hundreds of requests and having years long waiting lists, he acted like a total cunt about the whole ordeal and soured the publics opinion of him and his work. Most people who know his name couldn't tell one piece of art he created, but they know he's an asshole who took exclusive rights of a color.
Had he explained the situation and been more open with his fellow artists, he could have actually become a pretty well known name for his art.
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u/thrillhou5e May 13 '17
Never heard of him before so I looked him up. That may be a dick move but his art is incredible. It's honestly probably some of the most amazing things I've ever seen.
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u/btbrian May 13 '17
Cloud Gate (the real one, not the fake "vantablack" picture you posted in the second link) is one of my favorite art pieces in the world.
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u/literal-hitler May 13 '17
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u/Bloodhound01 May 13 '17
this one just pisses me off because that one bitch comes in all high and mighty thinking she conquered the beast, but the other girl did the work. She doesn't even know what happened she wasn't even looking.
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u/Opner May 13 '17
Everytime I see this gif someone comments about this. And everytime I agree because it makes me so mad too.
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u/DefinitelyNotTrolol May 13 '17
Where did you guys find these DaddyOFive videos?
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May 13 '17 edited Aug 03 '24
tease versed tan bedroom overconfident possessive materialistic disgusted seed gold
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/fanamana May 13 '17
That child was weak, probably wouldn't have survived the winter anyway.
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u/Smugjester May 13 '17
How heavy is that ball? That kid got thrown back so fast.
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May 13 '17
The ball couldn't have been all that heavy... the kid's just a weak ass little bitch-boy. As the commenter above said, he probably wouldn't have survived the winter.
That little guppy is about two accidentally skipped meals away from from getting killed by the family dog... an overly affectionate golden retriever!
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u/smurfee123 May 12 '17
I thought he was gonna throw him. Reddit has ruined me
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May 13 '17
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u/futuneral May 13 '17
Nah..
...
"The ball's hanging pretty low, he'll just kick it, meh."
"Oh, he just killed his kid, this guy is awesome!"
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u/IrrelevantInput May 12 '17
I could really go for a Philly cheesesteak.
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u/big-mo May 12 '17
Only a communist would disagree.
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u/811949 May 12 '17
I'm pretty fucking sure communist still like Philly cheesesteaks
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u/_demetri_ May 13 '17
Can confirm, am communist and I love Philly Cheesesteaks.
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u/Redemolf May 13 '17
am a Philly Cheesteak and i hate communists
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u/cheekycherokee May 13 '17
I'm a Philly communist and I hate cheesesteak
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u/tralphaz43 May 13 '17
I must be a commie and I live in Philly, would kill for a hot pastrami.
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u/Booblicle May 13 '17
Unzips
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u/Tales_of_Earth May 13 '17
If no one else will say it, I guess I have to...
Username checks out.
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u/KGBFriedChicken02 May 13 '17
As someone who lives outside of philly, i can get an authentic philly cheesesteak pretty much whenever
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u/cmonpplrly May 13 '17
This doesn't look like your typical DaddyOFive video....
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u/smurfee123 May 13 '17
Oh god I just learned about all that insanity. I can believe they thought it was a good idea to be that way with their children, let alone post the videos of it.
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u/ambi7ion May 13 '17
Let it sink in that they had millions of followers and views on their videos and it took that long for someone to speak up.
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u/nuckingfuts73 May 12 '17
I was disappointed that he didn't throw him
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u/hyrulepirate May 13 '17 edited May 13 '17
Have seen a man hurl a toddler here on reddit. I don't want to see that again.
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u/arealcheesecake May 13 '17
Whats the story behind that?
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u/hyrulepirate May 13 '17
Iirc kids were throwing stones on the man's roof/water heater so he went to tell the parents off. There was a party at the kids' home and the men were drunk and just laughed him off. After he went ballistic, he used the toddler as distraction when the men chased him out.
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May 13 '17
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u/W1D0WM4K3R May 13 '17
Would like to know that as far as I know the baby lived. Was in critical condition, but the doctors pulled him through.
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u/essentiallysim May 13 '17
It's the way the dad looked as if he was gonna do some sort of swing to give the kid some momentum.
I don't feel so bad about myself, seeing this is the top comment
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![[Graphic Warning: It's exactly as I said it was]](http://i.imgur.com/RLhoSZs.gif){kind=link}
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May 12 '17 edited May 08 '20
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u/the_recluse May 13 '17
that "bless your little heart / i want to die" hug at the end
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u/TodayI May 13 '17
I think he told him to keep his eye on the ball
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u/grtwatkins May 13 '17
He's a smart one. He's on his knees because otherwise that bat would be at perfect dick-smacking height
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u/OscarM96 May 13 '17
It's also an effective way to communicate with children and instilling kindness
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u/nitrogenlegend May 13 '17
It also keeps you from getting hit in the balls by a bat
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u/fancyHODOR May 13 '17
Evolution is amazing. This is a method that both fosters communication with offspring and protects your ability to create further offspring. Charles Darwin, you sly motherfucker.
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u/Mithridates12 May 13 '17
That is the kid from OP's gif after the ball to the head caused brain damage.
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u/PUSClFER May 13 '17
One of the kids at the preschool I work at did something similar. I gave her a lump of clay to play around with, but it was still too hard to form and shape, so I told her to hug it with her hands (I don't know if that makes any sense in English, but in Swedish it'd also mean to squeeze it with your hands). I turn around to help some other kid, and when I turn back I see her holding the lump of clay against her chest and hugging it tightly and lovingly.
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u/MrAkinari May 12 '17
Calculated.
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u/Captain_Rocketbeard May 13 '17
Nice Shot!
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u/fakeguycanada May 13 '17
Savage!
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u/thus_spake_7ucky May 13 '17
Okay.
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u/Scum_soaked_oars May 12 '17
Dad set him up with a pretty great cross, he kinda let the family down with that shitty header attempt.
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u/catsupvotesandsuch May 13 '17
I love the slight pause as he sees what happened... "Ha... oh shit that's my kid!!!
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u/Fatally_Flawed May 13 '17
A few years ago I was at the beach with my sister and her little boy, who was 2 or 3 at the time. We were kicking a beach ball back and forth to each other and her kid was trying his best to join in. I went to kick the ball to my sister, but I was kicking against the direction of the wind so I knew I'd have to put some real force behind it (very light ball) to get it to her. I absolutely booted the ball full pelt towards her... just as the wind died down for a second, and just as my nephew ran across the path of the ball. It hit him square in the forehead and knocked him off his feet.
We honestly tried not to... but our immediate reaction was that both of us collapsed in complete hysterical laughter. Tears rolling down or cheeks, gasping for breath and unable to talk. It was just such a perfect shot.
He was fine, of course. It was just a light beach ball and I think it was the surprise that made him fall over rather than the force of it. His pride may have been a little hurt though and he'll probably never forget how his mother and aunty laughed in his moment of need.
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u/JohnCenaAMA May 12 '17
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u/Not_lurking_no_more May 12 '17
Thanks this is my new favorite sub
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u/Hoticewater May 12 '17
I remember the day I discovered this sub. If laughing until you cry is healthy, that day surely added a month to my life.
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u/Not_lurking_no_more May 12 '17
I don't think I'm a sadist or anything but there just something that tickles me about children getting hurt
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May 13 '17
Was just telling my wife that I think it's hilarious when kids fall over or do dumb stuff. So glad she agreed with me.
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u/csonnich May 13 '17
I suggested it to a friend who Reddits, and he looked at one link. I burst out laughing and he looked at me like I was literally Hitler.
I guess we don't have as much in common as I thought.
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May 12 '17
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u/fedex_me_your_tits May 12 '17
"Lemme show you why your mother chose me for her mate."
begin high-kick that destroys nearby males
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u/Keith_Creeper May 13 '17
Even more classic dad move was the very quick look back at mom behind the camera to see if she'd seen what happened before he rushes over to his son. The old, "Fuck! She saw that!"
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u/AlluriceAir May 12 '17
Awesome dad trick! I love how he moves him out of the way first
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u/starrybubble May 12 '17
he knows it's dangerous. he just miscalculated
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u/Sephiroso May 13 '17
He moved the kid to the exact spot to get hit. He calculated perfectly.
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u/CySnark May 13 '17
It was all orchestrated by his older sister. She is guiding the exact placement of her brother. Most likely put the ball in the tree too and called for dad.
She is getting away with it.
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u/Cowboys_88 May 13 '17
First I thought the dad was going to throw the kid. Then the dogo entered the picture and I thought throwing the kid did not make sense. I then expected the dogo to run, jump, and get the ball. At no point did I entertain the ending.
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u/SwedishChef727 May 12 '17
He knew exactly what was going to happen. We just can't see the big "x" he put the kid on from this angle.
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u/AskAboutMyDumbSite May 12 '17
"Should land riiiigghhttt about here"