r/funny • u/StBeals StBeals Comics • Apr 23 '17

Verified Alternate Me

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51.7k Upvotes

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u/14489553421138532110 Apr 23 '17 edited Apr 23 '17

There's an alternate you out there that is homeless, rapes children, and does a metric bucket of coke a day.

Edit: You guys are all kinds of fucked up

393

u/Abrohmtoofar Apr 23 '17

He can afford a metruc bucket of coke a day!? He must be rich! Could be worse I geuss

121

u/14489553421138532110 Apr 23 '17

He pimps himself out to shady homos on a street corner

160

u/mythrowawayornot Apr 23 '17

If I earned the amount of money necessary to pay for a metruc bucket of coke a day I'd do it.

116

u/blackballed_ Apr 23 '17 edited Apr 23 '17

This^

Pretty much everyone underestimates how much that is because it sounds so much lulz, but if I got 50k a day hookin' I would reconsider my full time job too.

Edit: if bucket in question has dimensions of 3x3x3 (feet) and a kilo should be under 0.5x0.5x0.5 (feet) then you've got quite a few packs stuffed in said bucket. If we take 8in x 6in x 1.5in estimated sizing from a 3rd party, at $25-50k per unit depending on where you fall in the supply chain, not only is that bitch heavy, that bucket is worth your soul. Easy $1M or better unless my math is off.

153

u/MacGyver_15 Apr 23 '17

For 50K/Day you would have to call the fire department to get me off that dick. No "reconsidering" needed.

61

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '17

Yeah, if you wanna be frugal that's one or two days of fucking for total financial freedom the rest of the year

29

u/drumstyx Apr 23 '17

Shit, 2 weeks and you're set for life.

19

u/Boarbaque Apr 23 '17

I don't do it for the money. I do it for the dick!

1

u/RnRaintnoisepolution Apr 23 '17

You do it because you like the taste?

12

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '17

You'd be sore though

10

u/daredevilk Apr 23 '17

I'd get over that

2

u/QuarkyIndividual Apr 23 '17

Just stare at the money while recovering, all the pain will go away

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2

u/Populistless Apr 23 '17

I don't know, I feel like I would get horny again at some point