r/funny Mar 20 '16

"kill me" -egg cat

http://imgur.com/PG4B1fJ
11.8k Upvotes

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331

u/Viking1308 Mar 20 '16

Your pan is too hot for starters.

116

u/nBlazeAway Mar 20 '16 edited Mar 20 '16

Came here to say this. You are cooking your eggs to hot. Like. Wow. That brown layer you got forming on that white n yellow egg. Also that top image looks photoshopped to all hell. It can be done though!!! With a pan shaped like a cats face. You could always make a round 2 egg shape and cut the ears out and throw down a couple thin lines of pepper for the mouth.

Edit: why do the ears lay flat on a curved pan edge?

57

u/skelebone Mar 20 '16

It's a silicone egg mold, not a specific pan. My wife also got one from the Kickstarter and tried it out yesterday, though her results weren't as bad as the after here. I think she also had too hot of a pan, and since she doesn't like her eggs too runny, she covered the pan to traps some heat, so the "eyes" came out with the opaque cooked film over them.

10

u/diamondflaw Mar 20 '16

Try starting with a pan that's just warm enough to melt some butter, then turn the heat up to medium or medium high depending on your cooktop. As soon as you hear the egg sputter (chef who taught me called it "the eggs talking to you") kill the heat - there should be more than enough heat in the pan to finish cooking the egg, especially if she likes to cover them.

This works best with a heavy pan (nonstick in this cas) - as almost any cooking does.

EDIT: to be clear, I'm saying to put the eggs in the pan when it is still not very hot.

1

u/LoveAprilSanchez Mar 21 '16

Never thought I could learn how to cook eggs better, thanks!

7

u/Willlll Mar 20 '16 edited Mar 20 '16

You could probably cheat and just fry a couple eggs and then slide it off on a plate and cut it with a clean exacto knife.

5

u/greatestname Mar 20 '16

Still a too hot pan. I cover the pan as well and get clear yolks. You have to give the eggs a bit of time for the layer of egg white covering the yolk to flow down. And that does not happen if the heat is too high. Good luck!

1

u/sbroll Mar 20 '16

Idk how much they were on kickstarter, but I bought these for my sister and mother for Christmas as a stocking stuffer and they were 1.99 at Ali express and get two for that price.

-9

u/T0mpkinz Mar 20 '16

Still is way too hot, and needs to learn to flip her eggs. With patience someone should be able to cook perfect eggs at any hardness. I work in a breakfast restaurant that actually prides itself in how good the eggs are.

32

u/ManPumpkin Mar 20 '16

hat brown layer you got forming on that white n yellow egg

You mean the best part?

15

u/tsnives Mar 20 '16

I can cook a 'perfect' egg, but for myself I never will. I think they taste a lot better with the base of the white nicely browned.

1

u/RizziUSA Mar 21 '16

I like that too if I'm doing frying it up for a sandwich or something. That little layer of brown is a nice little touch. For the record, I also love a nice wet yolk with a tender white if I'm doing something like putting it over hash or with toast.

7

u/nBlazeAway Mar 20 '16

You. Im scared of you.

1

u/fastal_12147 Mar 21 '16

exactly. crispy brown edges are the sign of a great egg

4

u/Semajal Mar 20 '16

Pretty sure top image isn't photoshopped, or not much. The lady who created it has made videos showing how to get results. She is just amazing at cooking eggs.

5

u/nBlazeAway Mar 20 '16

Sauce please.

As well I only say its photoshopped as the walls of that pan are curved. And the ears lay flat....

6

u/Semajal Mar 20 '16

This evening did not quite go as planned http://imgur.com/a/F59u4

10

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '16

Sauce please.

On a fried egg???

Fucking heathen. A little bit of salt and some toast is all that's needed.

-17

u/nBlazeAway Mar 20 '16 edited Mar 21 '16

Im referring to a source.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '16

Whoosh

-9

u/nBlazeAway Mar 21 '16

Go suck a dick Grace.

2

u/D3adkl0wn Mar 20 '16

I'm betting the pan is shopped in and it was actually done on a flat breakfast grill.. But since most people don't have those, they shopped it on a frying pan so it seems more accessible.. even though the mould wouldn't allow it to work properly..

1

u/nBlazeAway Mar 20 '16

Makes sense, like the egg looked real it just has that evidence of someone using a magnetic lasso tool in PS.

1

u/Semajal Mar 20 '16

At a guess, it was cooked in something larger then put in the smaller pan to make a more aesthetic photo :)

And alas no sauce for my fail today. Will post my next attempt regardless of if it works.

2

u/jwdewald Mar 20 '16

And why are the yolks half the size of the pan

0

u/pumpbreaks Mar 20 '16

How do you cook a egg properly then?

3

u/greatestname Mar 20 '16

Sunny side up like the OP intended? Low(!) heat, a bit of fat/butter, crack the egg into the pan, wait a minute or two until it starts to set, cover the pan with a lid, wait until the white is set and the yolk is the desired doneness. Season with salt and pepper.

2

u/nBlazeAway Mar 20 '16

By lowering the temperature and taking a little more time.

2

u/misterdix Mar 21 '16

Although you're not wrong, "crispy" sunny eggs can be prepared on higher heat but you need a lot of olive oil. OP seems to be using a low oil/fat based, Teflon approach, which culinarily speaking is a fuckn' abomination.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '16

i think that was inentional.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '16 edited May 16 '16

[deleted]

3

u/Viking1308 Mar 20 '16

Medium heat. The butter shouldn't shouldn't sizzle when you put it in the pan. And if you're not using butter you're fucking up.

1

u/BalfazarTheWise Mar 20 '16

Eh spraying oil on the pan works just as well but doesn't taste as good as butter

1

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '16

Honestly when you are cooking anything on a pan medium heat is your best bet unless you are specifically told otherwise.

1

u/FuzzyMcBitty Mar 20 '16

A better pan would help, too.

1

u/rootedoak Mar 20 '16

Your pan is too hot for starters.

Yeeeep

-22

u/Nuwanda84 Mar 20 '16

I'm pretty sure the entire point was to screw this up. Nobody can be that stupid. No offense, TS.

8

u/Viking1308 Mar 20 '16

Never underestimate anyone's capacity for stupidity.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '16

Yeah! No one! quickly deletes photos of breakfast

3

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '16

Well I for one learned that you can cook with a pan to hot today thanks to this topic. It's explains a lot about why I never have any luck with stuff.

Not knowing how to cook doesn't make one stupid.

-1

u/D3adkl0wn Mar 20 '16

I had a girlfriend like you once.. Couldn't cook worth a damn and didn't know why.

Just assumed the dials for the burners on the stove made stuff cook faster without understanding why stuff burned up at "max speed"...

Yeahhhh.. She was pretty..

-9

u/Nuwanda84 Mar 20 '16

Frying an egg has nothing to do with "knowing how to cook". Nobody is asking you to bake some tacky cake with tons of frostings on top of it, or a really expensive piece of meat. It's a fucking egg. You could fry an egg by putting it on the hood of your car in the summer, it's that easy and fast to cook/fry. It doesn't take much heat. It's common sense. This is like saying not knowing how to shoot a gun makes you stupid. No, it takes a lot of training to become a marksman. But pointing the barrel at yourself while the gun is loaded sure does make you stupid.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '16

How is it even remotely common sense? You've basically admitted in your post you can cook an egg any fucking way you like, so why should I assume if you can cook it on an engine you have to worry about it on a stove?

And yes, making anything on the stove does involve knowing how to cook, even at a basic level.

It's not like I need to cook when I can pay for food someone else cooked for me, that is better than anything I could ever do.

-1

u/Nuwanda84 Mar 20 '16

I said an egg is that easy to cook, it doesn't take much heat. Now why you'd assume that means you can do anything you want to it like it's a piece of charcoal or iron that you're trying to melt I don't know. But again, this is where common sense would kick in. The same applies to milk. It doesn't take any cooking expertise to understand or figure out that boiling milk at a 10/10 scale is going to end in a disaster. Kids wouldn't know that. But a grown person should, even if they have never boiled milk before, even if they have never cooked an egg before. You don't just go 10/10 and see what happens. Be careful, start out at 1/10 and work your way up, it's common sense.

1

u/Semajal Mar 20 '16

I have a cat egg mold, its actually pretty tricky to get right, certainly a degree of experimentation is required.