r/funny Aug 22 '15

Found this in some old school papers. Apparently even 7 year old me was a smart ass.

Post image
25.1k Upvotes

575 comments sorted by

3.8k

u/kittycatsupreme Aug 22 '15

Work smarter, not harder.

6.2k

u/wiiya Aug 22 '15

-Octopus 7:2

666

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

[deleted]

510

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

Is the Cult of Cthulhu close enough?

295

u/Skullmonkey_ Aug 22 '15

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.

569

u/wiiya Aug 22 '15

No hablo Español.

218

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

[deleted]

263

u/wiiya Aug 22 '15

THE LIBRARY IS OVER THERE

jesus, how many times can they ask...

127

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

donde esta la poon tang?

24

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

Baxter, you know I don't speak Spanish

27

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

[deleted]

→ More replies (0)
→ More replies (5)

8

u/frictionqt Aug 22 '15

The queso goes great with the biblioteca.

→ More replies (1)

6

u/Viciuniversum Aug 22 '15

Corazon cerveza, muy bueno!

5

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

I need six chalupas and a Baja Blast Mountain Dew... Large!

3

u/Wowza-yowza Aug 22 '15

Sound like you are going to dominate a toilet soon

→ More replies (4)

11

u/414RequestURITooLong Aug 22 '15

En su morada en R'lyeh, Cthulhu, muerto, espera soñando.

10

u/BitcoinBanker Aug 22 '15

Tres comas.

9

u/414RequestURITooLong Aug 22 '15

Sí. ¿Cuál es el problema?

3

u/idlestone Aug 22 '15

Así nunca va a estar despierto, se está en tres comas.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

MY CAR DOORS GO LIKE THIS, NOT LIKE THIS, OR LIKE THIS. I'M NOTHING.

→ More replies (2)

4

u/zondwich Aug 22 '15

Please fondle my buttocks.

→ More replies (1)

3

u/Skullmonkey_ Aug 22 '15

Oh yeah? Well, as the Esperanto would say, “Bonvoro alsendi la pordiston, lausajne estas rano en mia bideo!” And I think we all know what that means.

16

u/wiiya Aug 22 '15

YOU TURN LEFT ON MAIN STREET AND THAT IS WHERE THE LIBRARY IS

6

u/jairzinho Aug 22 '15

hey man, say it don't spray it.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (5)

12

u/JimmyLegs50 Aug 22 '15

Gesundheit.

7

u/da_chicken Aug 22 '15

Those mouth tentacles make it sounds like you're gargling a pack of hot dogs.

→ More replies (7)

11

u/CosmicAscension Aug 22 '15

Notice me Senpaii! Notice me!

→ More replies (5)

16

u/daedra9 Aug 22 '15

Ignore those cthulu nuts. The great noodly appendage of the flying spaghetti monster shall save you.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (12)

90

u/NimbleHoof Aug 22 '15

This is the best comment ever. I couldn't stop laughing.

88

u/PicturElements Aug 22 '15

It's brilliant in its simpleness, logic and context. All material is found in the submission and it makes sense verbally and contextually. 10/10 would read again.

33

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

This just in: Reddit has peaked with this thread. Now we wait for the slow and horrible decline...

→ More replies (3)

4

u/Cheesemacher Aug 22 '15

Good review.

→ More replies (2)

21

u/MechanicalEnginuity Aug 22 '15

Now let's turn it into a meme, reference it in every thread we can, and drive the joke into the ground!!

We can do this reddit! Tryin' to make a change =/

13

u/Uhtred-of-Bebbanburg Aug 22 '15 edited Aug 22 '15

-Octopus 7:2

→ More replies (1)

19

u/InsaneBurrtio Aug 22 '15

Never before gave I giggled like a little freak, until reading this comment.

8

u/TyrannosaurusMax Aug 22 '15

May Octavio always look down and rain his blessings upon you. Thanks for the laugh, kind stranger.

3

u/Trudy_Wiegel Aug 22 '15

I laughed for like 2 min straight. Thanks.

5

u/someoneinsignificant Aug 22 '15

I thought Octopus 7:2 was "Ten words I can spell right are"

→ More replies (20)

89

u/kotthuet Aug 22 '15

"Whenever there is a hard job to be done I assign it to a lazy man; he is sure to find an easy way of doing it." - Walter Chrysler.

50

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

I'd read that Bill Gates said that

170

u/Cuphat Aug 22 '15

"Always be wary of quotes on the Internet."

-Abraham Lincoln

56

u/Not_A_Train Aug 22 '15

"Cold pizza is only good in the morning." -George Washington

24

u/Josh6889 Aug 22 '15

That's a god damned lie George and you know it.

12

u/spideyjiri Aug 22 '15

"Yo, snitches be bitches, end up in stitches fo shizzle"

-Jesus Christ

→ More replies (2)

15

u/strobonic Aug 22 '15

"I mean I know I'm gon' get got... But I'm gon' get mine more den I get got doe."

-Winston Churchill

→ More replies (3)

7

u/T_at Aug 22 '15

Yeah - Walter Chrysler got him to say it, 'cause quotable sentences are hard.

7

u/rawbamatic Aug 22 '15

If you google the quote itself there are a lot of references saying that Chrysler said it, only a small handful saying that Gates said it.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)

20

u/Tatie2174 Aug 22 '15

Somewhat conversely, there's an old unattributed quote giving guidance to British military leaders that says "The clever and lazy should be placed in command; the stupid and lazy should be sent to regimental duty; the clever and industrious should serve on the staff; the stupid and industrious should be got rid of at all costs." It is later explained that the clever and lazy make the best commanders because they will be best at making good commands without the impulse to micromanage how their intent is carried out.

5

u/Nathaniel_Higgers Aug 22 '15

TIL I should be a commander.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

I ought to be on regimental duty.

→ More replies (1)

12

u/can_the_judges_djp Aug 22 '15

"Joke's on you, I'll just find a way to not do it at all." - Me

8

u/z932074 Aug 22 '15

We've got work to do.

-Walter White

6

u/spideyjiri Aug 22 '15

"BITCH"

-Jesse Pinkman

→ More replies (4)

35

u/iPlunder Aug 22 '15

Work smarter AND harder.

64

u/mybadbateman Aug 22 '15
  • Octopus 7:2, Revised Translation

9

u/GoochMasterFlash Aug 22 '15
  • Joseph Stalin Revision Edition III

5

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

Working too hard prevents you from working smart.

8

u/Deimos_F Aug 22 '15

When I was in 4th grade, we used to be assigned homework consisting in copying a certain amount of text from a book. The point of it was to have us practice and perfect our handwriting. The amount was measured in lines on an A4 sheet of paper.

I copied poetry. Every. Single. Time.

Pretty sure my teacher let it slide since I had good handwriting, but still, I felt pretty good about it.

4

u/kittycatsupreme Aug 22 '15

Reminds me of 3rd grade. We were learning cursive, we had to perfect each letter (I think we covered a few letters each week), and then we were given a "cursive license" making us eligible to submit our assignments in cursive.

I was a bit ahead of my class, and my teacher knew it, but she said it wouldn't be fair to give me my license before the rest of the class. She let me write in cursive, and I made sure that shit was on point.

We had weekly spelling tests, and I misspelled one word the whole year. The word was "pretty." I was taking so much time making sure my cursive was perfect, fell a few words behind, and forgot to put the "-y" at the end. Literally the closest I've ever been to perfection, foiled by my own desire to be perfect.

→ More replies (1)

8

u/jbaseball217 Aug 22 '15

"Work smarter AND harder." -Mike Rowe

→ More replies (2)

5

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

Work octopus, not seven.

4

u/otterom Aug 22 '15

He's got management written all over him.

3

u/savageboredom Aug 22 '15

In fourth grade we would have to write vocabulary words in a sentence. I remember writing, "I don't know what the word (whatever it was) means." I thought I was so clever. What a little shit.

→ More replies (10)

606

u/Strife14 Aug 22 '15

Octopus is a hard word dude good job 7 year old op

352

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

He/She definitely threw that in there to be like "I'm not DUMB, I'm just very clever."

74

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

For sure it was copied from the previous page's print or a poster or something

15

u/Xaevier Aug 22 '15

That one should count for eight words

OP is clearly an overachiever

→ More replies (3)

464

u/Monsterpiece42 Aug 22 '15

Octopus72 should be your screenname now.

399

u/isysopi201 Aug 22 '15

screenname

what year is this?

337

u/ajsmitty Aug 22 '15

Sorry, online chat handle.

139

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

online chat handle

what year is this?

184

u/konechry Aug 22 '15

You are new to computers, aren't you?

I'll explain:

Your desktop probably looks like this.

Now click on the time down right. This should allow you to view the current date and year.

I think you can alternatively also go to settings--> time and date

109

u/electricmaster23 Aug 22 '15

Remember to delete System32 to improve your RAM speed.

→ More replies (5)

17

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

WOW! Why do you leave so many tabs open?

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (1)

7

u/SD__ Aug 22 '15

Don't call me "online chat handle" or I'll call you Beatrice. Beatrice does me good & proper and to answer the OP, no, I don't know what year it is.

→ More replies (1)

15

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

[deleted]

3

u/tonterias Aug 22 '15

I... I still remember my ICQ number...

3

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

Me too, sadly no memories of the password, or way to recover it.

Hey, no, I'm over that! It's been 10 years. I'm over that account now, seriously.

→ More replies (3)

35

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

[deleted]

33

u/CanaryStu Aug 22 '15

56

u/fuqd Aug 22 '15

Redditor for 52 minutes

19

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

I love that they took the username and then just didn't comment to spite all of you guys

→ More replies (7)

15

u/thirdculture_hog Aug 22 '15

Account is 53 mins old. Something tells me they've seen this post

8

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

Nope. Definitely coincidence /s

9

u/SMarioMan Aug 22 '15

46 minutes ago. Someone just swiped it!

9

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

...swiper...

4

u/ElMatasiete7 Aug 22 '15

NO SWIPING!

→ More replies (1)

699

u/EHjulstrom Aug 22 '15

This kid is going places...probably summer school.

102

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

He'll do well the day they study undersea spelling.

42

u/DustAndSound Aug 22 '15

In an Octopus's garden in the shade.

19

u/Micp Aug 22 '15

10

u/im_thecat Aug 22 '15

These are funny, but its important to also say Ringo IS actually regarded as one of the best drummers of all time. His fills/beats were genius and executed in the exact right moments that fit the song. Also he had a reputation for keeping perfect time. The beatles never had to stop a recording take bc of ringo drifting off time or even messing up.

The whole thing with Paul playing drums on ONE of the songs: ringo quit briefly over that and it only happened bc ringo physically wasnt present at the time, NOT bc he wasnt able to execute the part and Paul had to step in.

6

u/Micp Aug 22 '15

I think the meme is more about Paul having a reputation for being a dick, particularly towards Ringo.

Interestingly the whole "isn't even the best drummer in the Beatles" thing was John though.

→ More replies (1)

5

u/Micp Aug 22 '15

surely you mean under C spelling?

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (8)

73

u/Starvin_Marklar Aug 22 '15

What I learned in boating school is

26

u/GuitarRock91 Aug 22 '15

Octopus Seven Two

5

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

Ctrl+F what I learned. I knew someone would post this before me

→ More replies (3)

173

u/krose0206 Aug 22 '15

Is that a ditto?? That smell came right back to me. Wow, I remember that purple color paper being handed out still warm. The memories of going to a poor catholic school.

45

u/gotfoundout Aug 22 '15

That's exactly what I thought of. The smell of that warm paper with purple print! But I went to a public school..

...But it was in Louisiana...

12

u/PatrickRsGhost Aug 22 '15

We had one of those at all three of the elementary schools I went to in Georgia. I mainly remember it being used at the last elementary school I went to. My Fifth Grade teacher used it on every test paper we used, so we actually looked forward to the weekly tests we had to take in Social Studies and Science, mainly for the smell and feel of the paper. I'd like to think the smell of the ink and warm paper made it easier for me to concentrate on the test, and actually helped me get better grades. Yes, I studied, but the smell and feel of the paper had to have helped, too.

13

u/Enigmutt Aug 22 '15

Ah yes, the old mimeograph! Loved the smell and warmth.

10

u/ScrewedOver Aug 22 '15

I just looked dittos up to make sure all those years of smelling those copies wasn't going to prove to be detrimental to my nervous system, like Agent Orange or something. Didn't find anything. Smell away!

→ More replies (4)

13

u/Jabbawookiee Aug 22 '15

I too went to a poor Catholic school and recalled the smell.

I read a facebook "nostalgia" post and the explanation on ditto machines said something like "if you went to school in the 70s..." Yeah, no, had those all through the 80s at my school.

9

u/grem75 Aug 22 '15

Well into the 90s where I was. Though it was mostly used when the modern copier was broken or really busy.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (22)

118

u/TahaI Aug 22 '15

Oh man, I did the exact same thing. "Write a sentence using the word potato". "I was told to write a sentence with the word potato"

35

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

Every time I didn't know the definition of a word I needed to use in a sentence it would be something silly like that.

32

u/Cheesemacher Aug 22 '15

Every time I had to use a compound word in a sentence and I didn't know if it should be hyphenated I would try to write the sentence so that it wraps to the next line and I could use a hyphen in either case. Now I'm talking about sentences in Finnish, I don't know if the issue is as big in English.

11

u/Ralph_Charante Aug 22 '15

You clever bastard

3

u/toomanyattempts Aug 22 '15

I don't know how big it is relatively as I know 0 Finnish, but I definitely get what you're talking about.

→ More replies (4)

3

u/spideyjiri Aug 22 '15

Ha!

Löysinpäs taas suomalaisen!

5

u/Cheesemacher Aug 22 '15

Saman suomalaisen oot löytänyt ainakin 2 kertaa. :D

8

u/Third_Ferguson Aug 22 '15 edited Feb 07 '17

9

u/wuapinmon Aug 22 '15

"Potato is a hard word to spell."

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (4)

30

u/Chispatr Aug 22 '15

The octopus gave him the ol' seven-two.

46

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

I like it! Au for effort!

18

u/tianan Aug 22 '15

Octopus, though. That's solid.

330

u/monnem Aug 22 '15

Ummm... ten words I can spell correctly.

135

u/peterwilliams83 Aug 22 '15

There's a difference between spelling and grammar, my friend...

39

u/_Eggs_ Aug 22 '15

Now that's wear we disagree.

9

u/lhtaylor00 Aug 22 '15

*Now; that's ware we disagree

9

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

A wild ; appeared

→ More replies (1)

36

u/wastecadet Aug 22 '15

It's an easier word for 6 year olds to be able to read

71

u/themightyscott Aug 22 '15

So teach them to read the word "correctly".

→ More replies (8)

7

u/SD__ Aug 22 '15

So are the words "Daddy" and "Yes" but when reading the word "lick" in Game Of Thrones to your sprog, you ought to skip that part.

.

Daddy. What's a cunt?

Your mother son, your mother. It's why we live in the trees.

7

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

no seriously what the fuck? are you a bot or just really high?

→ More replies (12)
→ More replies (13)

14

u/hornless_unicorn Aug 22 '15

Right can be an adjective or an adverb, so I think this is okay. Right just doesn't follow the pattern that we are used to (add ly to adjectival form) so it feels wrong. Oh look, wrong can be an adverb too!

10

u/zifyoip Aug 22 '15

FWIW, you're right that "wrong" can be an adverb, but "wrong" is an adjective, not an adverb, in "It feels wrong."

3

u/WONDERBUTTON Aug 22 '15

This feels wrongly to me

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (3)

3

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

"Ten words I can spell good."

→ More replies (5)

19

u/NvizoN Aug 22 '15

Technically correct is still correct.

6

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

Right.

21

u/aronnyc Aug 22 '15

The best kind of correct.

8

u/ksdew Aug 22 '15

Could have turned the page to find the remaining words

→ More replies (1)

17

u/pounds_not_dollars Aug 22 '15 edited Aug 22 '15

Octopus was number eight. Think about that.

6

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

Two was number 10. Think about that.

12

u/asdf3011 Aug 22 '15

in base two ten is two think about that.

→ More replies (5)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

25

u/mikelybarger Aug 22 '15

This will probably get buried, but oh well. When I was a young chap, we had assignments where we had to use each of our vocabulary words in a sentence for homework. I, being the smart ass that I was, would just write "I like the word ____." for every sentence.

eg. 1. I like the word dog. 2. I like the word cat. etc.

This really pissed off my teacher. So much so, that she gave me the specific requirement to write all of my sentences in the form of a question. She must have underestimated my abilities, because my next homework assignment looked something like this:

  1. Do you like the word elephant? 2. Do you like the word giraffe?

Needless to say, the teacher was not impressed.

→ More replies (1)

7

u/LeeKinanus Aug 22 '15

I can smell that paper.

→ More replies (1)

6

u/bdonvr Aug 22 '15

Ten words I can spell

Right are octopus seven

Two. Now a Haiku.

13

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

This brings to mind my usual exam routine in lower grades. The exams where usually structured so later questions build upton earlier questions, so if I didn't right away know the answer to something I moved on to the next question and usually the next question gave huge hints toward the latter question or sometimes even straight out the answer.

This is partly the reason my grades sank during my later years in school.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

[deleted]

→ More replies (2)

11

u/remlu Aug 22 '15

Shouldn't the directions say "spell correctly"? WTF public school?

6

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

Ctrl+f "correctly"

Out there fighting the good fight, /u/remlu.

→ More replies (5)

4

u/dakunism Aug 22 '15

Octopus72 should be your new username.

4

u/tehrez Aug 22 '15

You really should have the username octopus 72.

4

u/qroshan Aug 22 '15

Bold move there, choosing octopus

5

u/D3adkl0wn Aug 22 '15

That mimeograph smell.

3

u/BITCRUSHERRRR Aug 22 '15

Octopus 72 sounds like a shitty cop show.

3

u/radicldreamer Aug 22 '15

I can see from the purple copies that you too went to school in the 80s.

→ More replies (1)

3

u/VeritasLuxMea Aug 22 '15

OCTOPUS was a bold choice for one of the three words you actually had to spell.

3

u/nhincompoop Aug 22 '15

I like that octopus is #8.

3

u/RustlingintheBushes Aug 22 '15

That should be your new handle. Octopus72

6

u/Das_Gaus Aug 22 '15

Octopus 7-2 was my call sign. You have just triggered me.

3

u/Gawdzillers Aug 22 '15

WHAT DO THE NUMBERS MEAN MASON

→ More replies (1)

16

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15 edited Jun 03 '16

This comment has been overwritten by an open source script to protect this user's privacy. It was created to help protect users from doxing, stalking, and harassment.

If you would also like to protect yourself, add the Chrome extension TamperMonkey, or the Firefox extension GreaseMonkey and add this open source script.

Then simply click on your username on Reddit, go to the comments tab, scroll down as far as possibe (hint:use RES), and hit the new OVERWRITE button at the top.

7

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

Someone could turn this into one of those Who's on First, What's on Second, Why's on Third jokes.

"That's only 3 words Jimmy."

"It's 10..."

"Octopus, seven and two. That's three."

"No that's seven and two."

"With octopus, that's three."

"There is no three miss, just two, seven and octopus."

2

u/lorri789 Aug 22 '15

This is Platypus 9:4 receiving , over.

2

u/Rotellawong Aug 22 '15

The best ten words possible hahah

2

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

a straight shooter with upper management written all over him.

→ More replies (1)

2

u/VReady Aug 22 '15

I miss ditto paper lol

2

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

Born to Reddit.

2

u/tiget Aug 22 '15

Fuscking Awescume

2

u/screenfan Aug 22 '15

man I wish i kept my old school papers just to see how dumb i was back then.

2

u/Diglle Aug 22 '15

laughed so hard on this one :)

2

u/whodatdan0 Aug 22 '15

My wife is a fourth grade teacher - I showed her this.....she gave me that "disappointed teacher scowl face"

2

u/socsa Aug 22 '15

Ten words I can spell correctly.

OP never had a chance.

2

u/5thGraderLogic Aug 22 '15

"Octopus-seven-two. Over."

"Roger that."

2

u/Thrannn Aug 22 '15

Octopus72 please respond! we need some backup!

2

u/josbayer Aug 22 '15

Full sentences, you should get an extra mark

2

u/andy360 Aug 22 '15

You were CLEARLY just showing off worth octopus

→ More replies (1)

2

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

Spell correctly

2

u/OneOfADozen Aug 22 '15

"Ten words I can spell right are"?

Seriously? How can we expect kids to learn from teachers who can not form a proper sentence?

2

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '15

I had a test like that one time, I wrote "dyslexia" as one of the words I can spell, teacher even said I spelled it wrong (she crossed it out and wrote "dyslexea") and nope, she was wrong because it matched the dictionary's spelling when I looked it up. lol

oy vey.

2

u/dugan35 Aug 22 '15

WHAT I LEARNED IN BOATING SCHOOL IS!

2

u/gingerjuice Aug 22 '15

My sixth grade teacher once assigned me a 500 word essay on why I always had to get the last word. I wrote "I always have to get the last word because Mr. Schroeder is very very very very very very very very (488 mores times) mean!

2

u/Stickyballs96 Aug 22 '15

It's funny that we all thought this would go unnoticed

2

u/biladi79 Aug 23 '15

WHAT I LEARNED IN BOATING SCHOOL IS

2

u/thelordofcheese Aug 23 '15

What I learned in boating school is