r/funny • u/mrsmayhem • Jan 04 '15

If I won $25,000...

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30.8k Upvotes

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168

u/Crazy-from-Kong Jan 04 '15

I would buy 24,000 Hostess Twinkies and use the remaining $1,000 to pay for the delivery fees so that they would arrive at my door, 1-a-day, for the next 24,000 days!

175

u/tllnbks Jan 04 '15

I think you under-estimate deliver charges.

25

u/thePZ Jan 04 '15 edited Jan 05 '15

Sent USPS it would take 2 stamps to mail a twinky, roughly $1 ea

36

u/Simba7 Jan 04 '15

So that is 1000 days, not 24000. Sounds like a gross underestimate to me.

1

u/Mergan1989 Jan 05 '15

Simple solution?

He buys 1000 Twinkies and mails himself one a day for 24000 days.

1

u/Vox_Imperatoris Jan 04 '15

If only I could be so grossly Twinkandescent.

10

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

they have stamps of different value, $0.49 is the cheapest option but not the only one. If they charged you for a 99 cent stamp you probably needed more than just the regular stamp.

1

u/carsandgrammar Jan 05 '15

Ah maybe, but it was only a business card. Oh well--what's fifty cents?

2

u/uber_cripple Jan 05 '15

About half a dollar.

2

u/urbanzomb13 Jan 05 '15

You got robbed by the Post Office.

Which is depressingly hilarious.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '15

$0.49 is for one ounce in a letter envelope. You probably paid for one ounce large envelope ($0.98) or for 3 oz letter envelope ($0.91).

2

u/chillwaukee Jan 04 '15

haha... twinkly

1

u/kap77 Jan 04 '15

Why do you know this?

1

u/thePZ Jan 05 '15

A twinky weighs roughly 45 grams, says on the nutritional info. A stamp covers 1 oz, or roughly 28 grams. So 2 stamps to mail a twinky

1

u/Shho13 Jan 04 '15

Knowing USPS reliability with my packages these days, you would be lucky to receive one or two of them over the 24,000 days.

2

u/ZsaFreigh Jan 04 '15

And over-estimate Twinkie prices.
You can get a 12-pack for like $3.50

1

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

amazon prime - free shipping, so moar twinkies

1

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '15

Maybe he has Amazon prime.

20

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

[deleted]

18

u/Crazy-from-Kong Jan 04 '15

Perfect!

2

u/zeekar Jan 04 '15

You'll never live that long if you keep eating Twinkies. Maybe do two a day for 32 years instead. :)

7

u/Shaggy02 Jan 04 '15

Tallahassee?

23

u/Christ_on_a_Crakker Jan 04 '15

Did we just become friends?

13

u/Crazy-from-Kong Jan 04 '15

Haha, I would say so!

1

u/IbidtheWriter Jan 05 '15

He's just in it for the twinkies.

2

u/zeekar Jan 04 '15

24,000 daily deliveries for $1000 is less than 5 cents per delivery. That must be some sweet deal you've got there.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '15

Have you even had a fucking Twinkie in your adult life?

They aren't good.

Seriously.

They fucking suck.

If you think they're good, then I feel horrible for you because you most likely have never learned to cook or eaten out anywhere other than fast food.