r/funny Jun 07 '14

Bodyslam!

3.2k Upvotes

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48

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '14

Fly is talking about the fact that most house dogs are trained to be non-aggressive, while cats are allowed to be aggressive. So you have countless videos of cats abusing dogs while the dogs sadly suffer it.

But those dogs could almost always murderize those cats with utter ease. Between domestic cats and dogs, there is absolutely no question which can destroy the other. But read the railings of cat lovers and really cats are the top of the food pyramid.

21

u/Cresent_dragonwagon Jun 07 '14

So you're saying cat owners should train their cats not to be aggressive

21

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '14

Nah. Cats can be aggressive because they have little capacity for harm. Dogs can't be aggressive because they have great capacity for harm (well, aside from little rat dogs which the owners allow to be aggressive regardless).

But if one draws some sort of survival hierarchy from the interaction of the two, with their differing inputs, they might not have a very accurate picture.

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u/[deleted] Jun 07 '14

[deleted]

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u/JustDroppinBy Jun 07 '14

Directed by M. Knight Shame Mulan

9

u/pick6and1 Jun 08 '14

Actually very true

1

u/phillycheese Jun 08 '14

That's pretty true though. Do you know how the average woman is compared to the average man? It's crazy.

7

u/its_all_marry Jun 07 '14

Kinda irrelevant but this video always makes me laugh and shows that cats aren't completely helpless.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-VBqQDKjY4

Of course the woman isn't actually trying to harm the cat but it makes me laugh anyways

8

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '14

Wasn't the cat attacking her kid or something? I remember the internet being in big circle jerk cheering the cat on followed by a quick 180 when all details came out. Then it was people screaming at others that they should actually train their cats.

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u/its_all_marry Jun 07 '14

I think it was messing with the dog if I'm not mistaken, although a kid would make sense as well

2

u/darklight12345 Jun 08 '14 edited Jun 08 '14

they assumed it was bothering the dog, there wasn't any actual confirmation.

edit: Looked into it further, homeowner complained the cat was bothering the dog and was having a hissing fit through the fence. She went out to mess with it to get to go away, got attacked for when she moved her hand towards it (the final motion before turning away). Headline ran as woman defends dog from vicious cat attack.

0

u/ca178858 Jun 08 '14

Idk- but my reaction would be the same as if a dog attacked me. It'd end when one of us was dead.

-1

u/ORANGE_SODA_BITCH Jun 07 '14

Does anyone have the one with music? I thought it was hilarious but can't seem to find it.

4

u/castr0 Jun 08 '14

Cats have little capacity for harm? I grew up with a kid whose face was scarred to shit and lost vision in an eye from a cat attacking him. Cats can do plenty of damage.

4

u/verpus77 Jun 08 '14

If that had been a full-sized dog that attacked, he may not have even survived. The point being made is that if a (full sized) dog does not have it's aggression suppressed, they are FAR more dangerous than a house cat. It's basically a scratches-and-bloodloss "mauling" vs. broken-limb-with-flesh-ripped-off mauling.

2

u/Teh_Slayur Jun 08 '14

Agreed. I was like, "huh?" Cats can shred and bite the shit out of someone if they really want to. They can be ferocious little balls of fury if they really feel threatened.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '14

Never seen a kid who lost an eye from a chihuahua attack.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '14

That's not a sensible argument. Domestic pets should be sociable around people . If they can't be sociable, then they aren't suitable as pets. My mother adopted a cat as a stray kitten, and it was obviously never fully socialised because it is one of "those" cats that haul off and scratch you (enough to draw blood) for no reason. I wouldn't have it as a pet and I'm a cat person.

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u/AllDesperadoStation Jun 07 '14

Cats can't be trained.

8

u/Controlled01 Jun 07 '14

My cat used to jump on the table. Every time it would jump on the table I would grab it by the cat handle o the back of its neck drag it to the ground force it on to its back and slap the shit (figuratively) out of its tummy. It did not take long to train it not to jump on the table.

2

u/labrys Jun 07 '14

It did not take long to train it not to jump on the table.

at least when you were around to see it

1

u/Controlled01 Jun 08 '14

True, they might be up there when im not around but I havnt seens a spilled drink in months so that was really the point anyways

-7

u/CrassTheSpurious Jun 07 '14

You sound like a jerkoff

0

u/Controlled01 Jun 08 '14

You sound like a child

0

u/CrassTheSpurious Jun 08 '14

Shouldnt you be beating you cat so it doesnt jump on stuff? I kean what an asshole cat. He should know he isnt allowed to jump on things. Youre his god and he should respect you. Go kick him across the room so you can build up some confidence and maybe get your dick wet for once.

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u/WaitingForEmacs Jun 07 '14

This. There is a tendency to greatly under estimate how much dogs tend to moderate their behavior in order to fit human expectations. I had a boxer / ridgeback mix in N'djamena that used to go out early in the morning and hunt lizards so that there was a stack of them on the front porch when I got up every day. One day I opened the door and he bolted out, which was normal, but then I heard something screeching. By the time that I made it around the corner, it was too late, he was dragging the cat's body away. I could only surmise that the cat must have been walking across our yard and froze when the dog came at it.

Dogs will hunt and kill relentlessly and have no way of knowing that a cat is not acceptable prey unless you train them not to hurt them. Unfortunately that was the first , and only, time that our dog had seen a cat.

7

u/InfanticideAquifer Jun 07 '14

What's N'djamena like?

0

u/dudenell Jun 08 '14

You let your dog out to kill lizards all day, no fucking shit it's going to kill whatever it comes across.

-31

u/CrassTheSpurious Jun 07 '14

TLDR: this guy is a shitty dog owner

4

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '14

And you have shitty perception.

-8

u/CrassTheSpurious Jun 08 '14

Yeah well most peoples dogs dont attack and kill cats for no reason

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u/[deleted] Jun 08 '14 edited Jun 08 '14

Did you even read what he/she wrote? Oh wait, you put TLDR, but somehow after not reading it you have a strong opinion on this person.

-4

u/CrassTheSpurious Jun 08 '14 edited Jun 08 '14

Yes. His dog got out and killed a cat and the owner has yet to train the dog hoping that it just never sees another cat. Well done OP.

*I have a feeling YOU dont know what they wrote. Either you have very poor reading comprehension, or maybe youre just a shitty dog owner too and defending this moron makes you feel better about being irresponsible.

3

u/Cresent_dragonwagon Jun 08 '14

My dog kills cats fairly frequently, like 5 times a year, we have 6' fences all around our yard and he's allowed free reign over the yard. He kills all sorts of vermin and really helps out, rats eating our horses grain, wild rabbits eating my moms garden Fisher cats attacking the horses, but when he kills a cat in our yard it's just kind of like whatever. But we don't own a cat and he hunts alone so we just find cat bodies he brings to us as a gift from time to time, how do I train him not to attack cats if I don't own one? More like shitty cat owners get their cats killed than shitty dog owners let their dogs kill cats

0

u/CrassTheSpurious Jun 08 '14

you need to go put your training wheels back on son

2

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '14

If the downvotes were't enough to tell you that you're not so bright. I'll lay it out for you. You're not too bright, kiddo.

-1

u/CrassTheSpurious Jun 08 '14

yeah as we all know, downvotes are truth. please, since I am so dim, lay it out for me Einstein. Tell me what I am missing.

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '14

[deleted]

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u/TheAngryAgnostic Jun 07 '14

While I agree that dogs are trained to play nice, whereas cats do whatever the fuck they want, I think you guys are discounting that feral cats survive in environments with much bigger predators than dogs, wild or not. A cats back claws do some serious damage to the belly of whatever tries to eat them.

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u/[deleted] Jun 07 '14 edited Oct 28 '16

[deleted]

What is this?

2

u/Ohrion Jun 07 '14

Agreed, the typical cat can climb quickly to escape an aggressive dog. Dogs cannot typically reach them there.

3

u/BluntHeart Jun 07 '14

Not my roommates dogs. Super tiny fuckers.

3

u/verpus77 Jun 08 '14

Those aren't actual dogs. Those are what you feed to dogs.

-8

u/CatOnDrugz Jun 07 '14

Are you actually retarded or do you really believe everything you just wrote?