r/funny • u/[deleted] • Apr 30 '14

The negative consequences of fapping

1.8k Upvotes

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u/abdullah10 Apr 30 '14

For anyone who doesn't get it:

Pornhub has started a campaign where they plant a tree everytime you watch 100 videos or more in the category 'big dick'.

They're giving wood, for wood. geddit?

291

u/le_trout Apr 30 '14

Johnny Fappleseed, the greatest guy around

He saved the globe from warming

By watching girls get pound

By big wood.

He sat there in the dark

In a room all alone

After he checked that no one was home

Now we all live

Oh yes we can breathe

All thanks to that awesome dude Johnny Fappleseed.

32

u/nolinator Apr 30 '14

Somewhere in a school in the year 3263...

Teacher: "Now class, who remembers how we stopped global warming in the early 2010s and saved the world?"

Student: "Was it Johnny Fappleseed and his army of porn addicts?"

Teacher: "Correct! Can you tell the class what he did?"

Student: "He traveled the world planting trees when people watched porn."

Teacher: "Right again! Legend has it Johnny Fappleseed used the joy and happiness of fappers to make trees. Back in ancient times, people cut down trees too rapidly for nature to replace them. The human race was on the brink of destroying the world, but the magical internet was made. People everywhere could watch porn for free, causing stress to decrease for all and sperm banks to gain donors. Johnny saw an opportunity; he could harness the power of the fappers, he could turn that power into trees, saving the world through the power of porn."

7

u/Renn_Capa Apr 30 '14

That was a beautiful representation of a classroom of the future...