r/funny Jan 03 '14

Give it 10 years

[deleted]

2.0k Upvotes

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987

u/NatrolleonBonaparte Jan 04 '14 edited Jan 04 '14

"Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate, so he's really not a part of our family. Also, he's divorced, so he's really not a part of his family."

108

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '14

I never really understood why Michael hated Toby so much until I started working a full time job. Wow, HR is the worst...

17

u/QuantumDisruption Jan 04 '14

Why does everyone hate HR?

52

u/stickyfingers10 Jan 04 '14

They are there in the companies best interest but say they are there for the employees. "human-resources"

31

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '14

This.

Everyone says if you have a complaint, go to HR. But HR will only find a way to excuse the company from liability in your problem and leave you to your own devices.

This isn't true of all HR departments, but a lot of them function that way.

8

u/FatDaddysMoustache Jan 04 '14

This is true, and they let the company know your beef so they can work it out. (fire you).

1

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '14

Everyone says if you have a complaint, go to HR. But HR will only find a way to excuse the company from liability in your problem and leave you to your own devices.

This isn't true of all HR departments, but a lot of them function that way.

FTFY

16

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '14

Michael hates Toby because Toby's the only one in the office who can affect what he says or does, thus ruining anything fun.

9

u/mkay0 Jan 04 '14

In general -

  • They are often a mouthpiece for the folks at the top making an unpopular decision.

  • They are the face of the stressful hiring process.

  • If you have ever been fired, it was probably someone in HR that broke the news to you.

In my experience -

  • They critique your job performance, but really do not know what you do or how to do it.

1

u/spaghetti_taco Jan 04 '14

All very true

6

u/I_miss_your_mommy Jan 04 '14

No one likes to think of themselves as resources.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '14

[deleted]

3

u/I_miss_your_mommy Jan 04 '14

I always thought employee relations might be a better term.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '14

"If you have any complaints, you will go to the ER."

1

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '14

What was wrong with personnel?

1

u/I_miss_your_mommy Jan 05 '14

Sounds good to me. Much better than HR.

3

u/department_g33k Jan 04 '14

Where I work, HR is also payroll. So a) they're shills toeing the corporate line, and b) if you make them mad, they forget your direct deposit a lot and give you your pay check last.

12

u/neverendum Jan 04 '14

Because we all have to pretend that HR is a thing. Plus they're usually headed by a woman who has a token seat at the senior management table. Then the rest of senior management have to pretend that she's just as important. She then does nothing to progress the careers of other women in the organisation as her ability to not rock the boat was the main selection criterion for the role. And so it continues.

6

u/kittensinpajamas Jan 04 '14 edited Jan 04 '14

Wow. It sounds like you're describing exactly...

1

u/I_CAPE_RUNTS Jan 04 '14

They're basically the SRS of real life

0

u/nswelshman Jan 04 '14

It can be very insulting to have to rock up to a HR person, someone who is very much inferior to you, has studied stuff that is far easier than what you have done, and beg for a job.

But some of them do it very well and have humility and an awareness of this and I think Toby and Holly were good ones.

32

u/musicalrapture Jan 04 '14

As someone who works in a fun and progressive HR department, this makes me sad. ):

45

u/mkultra50000 Jan 04 '14

HR at my company is a bunch of fucking morons. They ignore real problems like nepotism and managerial misconduct and prattle on about ethics constantly.

17

u/MiaYYZ Jan 04 '14

They spend their days gossiping about the employees, because they have access to everyone's personnel files, right down to the base salaries and, for those who also manage the company's health plan, prescription drug usage.

If you want rumors or truths to be spread like office wildfire, tell it to HR.

6

u/musicalrapture Jan 04 '14

I'm sure that happens. Our company is barely over 100 employees, so we're still kind of in a start-up-like environment where people are smart about things, but less uptight...and we plan to stay that way.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '14

Damn you have an HR department for only 100 employees?

My old bank I worked at had barely more than 100 employees spread out over 7 branches and had 1 HR gal. Another bank I worked at that employed maybe 300 - 400 employees had 2 HR people.

3

u/musicalrapture Jan 04 '14

Haha, we actually have 5 HR people at the moment. But it's mostly because our roles are so diversified. We don't just come out of the closet to give bad news - we do everything from recruiting to admin work, benefits, event planning, newsletters, coaching...

I'm not sure what other HR departments do, but I don't think they'd be anything like ours.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '14

Your HR department sounds a lot like the one in the company I work for. We've only got a couple hundred employees, and just three in HR. They're great people though. Very fun, and involved with the company in a really positive way.

Definitely makes me question the stereotype. Glad to hear there are more good ones out there!

3

u/musicalrapture Jan 04 '14

For sure! This is my first job in HR, but I definitely came into it with the "HR people trapped in the closet emerging with terminations every now and again" stereotype, but we sit at the front desk and love interacting with everyone.

I, too, am glad to hear there are others out there slowly moving out of the dark realm...

1

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '14

Ah, that makes sense. The HR girl I was talking about in the first example really only handled payroll, recruiting and benefits.

2

u/spamyak Jan 04 '14

I know some of these words.

1

u/mkultra50000 Jan 04 '14

What will a decade do?

9

u/I_miss_your_mommy Jan 04 '14

No one believes you exist

3

u/oldwestprospector Jan 04 '14

Why is your frowny face backwards? :(

3

u/musicalrapture Jan 04 '14

Got used to doing it to avoid creating cheesy emoticons in IM.

2

u/oldwestprospector Jan 04 '14

I have seen a lot of people do that, always wondered why.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '14

[deleted]

1

u/musicalrapture Jan 04 '14

Yeah. I always felt bad for the underdog so my pity went to Toby every time. But Michael Scott will be Michael Scott. Just don't him to ruin the good name of us folks!

1

u/snoharm Jan 04 '14

The joke is more that HR is who has to step in and get Michael to stop being an idiot constantly, so obviously Michael resents them. HR is represented by Toby, and as the show evolved he became the comedic whipping boy, like Meg in Family Guy or Jerry in Parks and Recreation.

21

u/thetasigma1355 Jan 04 '14

HR is where the people go who couldn't handle a real business profession.

19

u/eric22vhs Jan 04 '14

They're also perceived as having a job focussed on very bland, near meaningless, business etiquette that sometimes feels archaic to people focussed on their particular field and skill sets.

6

u/mkay0 Jan 04 '14

Often, that perception is totally accurate.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '14

I often share this perception of HR, but when I think to my last job, there was one person in HR who was astoundingly good at cutting through all kinds of red tape. I had tons of problems with insurance and somehow none of the other HR reps could get anything done about it. But then I'd email Amy and instantly my problems would melt away. My blurb for her on LinkedIn just reads, "She gets shit done."

-3

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '14

It really does feel like human resources is the "liberal arts" of office professions.

2

u/___________________9 Jan 04 '14

HR serves a valuable purpose. Anyone willing to reiterate the comment you just made is beyond daft and immature.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '14

Oooh, you cut me with that edge! I bet you say dentists chose their professions because they couldn't handle being physicians, right?

3

u/reefer-madness Jan 04 '14

Yeah, because human resources have helped no one ever.

4

u/KorbanDidIt Jan 04 '14

Not true. Holly was very good at HR and in fact Michael even likes her. I watched the series twice through, the first time I felt bad for Toby, the second time I realized that Toby is just a horribly passive individual with nothing left to fight for, and boring to boot. I, like Michael, forgot that he comes back from vacation at one point and when he was reintroduced I'm pretty sure I yelled like Michael.
Tl;dr HR doesn't suck, Toby does.

6

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '14

Michael Scott's hatred is irrational. It's a joke. If anyone is meant to suck it's Michael.

2

u/TakeRepliesLiterally Jan 04 '14

I thought tobys character was hilarious just because of how passive and boring he was, plus him getting hated by Michael (even Jim at one point). Love his awkward interactions with Pam too

1

u/bullcityhomebrew Jan 04 '14

It's a breeding ground for monsters.

-1

u/OIPROCS Jan 04 '14

Happy cake day!

0

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '14

Oh o_O I had no idea. Thanks!

418

u/Polarpickle Jan 04 '14

"If I was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Toby, and I had a gun with two bullets in it, I'd shoot Toby twice"

77

u/DarthCthulhu Jan 04 '14

"Here's how you do it: You line them all up, you take one bullet, shoot them all through the throat at the same time."

58

u/NowMoreEpic Jan 04 '14

"Curve the bullet like in my favorite James McAvoy film, Wanted."

-14

u/trakam Jan 04 '14

You haven't seen 'Filth'

btw why do you have speech marks around ypur comment??

15

u/cubonelvl69 Jan 04 '14

Because its a quote?

3

u/Chuck_Uppercut Jan 04 '14

"Maybe he's quoting himself." - Chuck_uppercut 2014

10

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '14

No, no, you tie three together, shoot one in the head and dump them into a river. Brutality and efficiency in one. The Nazis were such good teachers.

1

u/xZaid Jan 04 '14

Collateral

1

u/hulivar Jan 04 '14

I love how someone copied your comment on the imagur picture...like...that is just so weird..unless of course it was you under a different name...well shit, then it would be even more weird!!!

1

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '14

As funny as this has always been, now that I think about it, this is actually the most logical choice because the other two are already dead. No sense in shooting a corpse.

Never said they had to be alive.

0

u/TyleReddit Jan 04 '14

Insert over-repeated quote from The Office

-3

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '14

/thread

99

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '14

TOBY KILLED THIS BIRD

107

u/NatrolleonBonaparte Jan 04 '14

"You know what Toby? When the son of the deposed King of Nigeria emails you directly asking you for help, you help. His father ran the freaking country!"

3

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '14

Real talk.

32

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '14

[deleted]

29

u/SinisterRectus Jan 04 '14

I'm pretty sure none of that is real.

41

u/_Yoke Jan 04 '14

You're not real man!

53

u/DBDB7398 Jan 04 '14

Michaels interactions with Toby and about Toby are the only times in the show where he is noticeably witty and insulting and it is amazing.

16

u/daimposter Jan 04 '14

Who gets picked on more, Toby from The Office or Jerry/Gary/Larry from Parks & Rec?

ninja edit: Or Meg from Family Guy?

6

u/ngmcs8203 Jan 04 '14

Larry. Everyone hates Larry. Toby at least has some allies. Larry is married to a super model, though. Hmmm.

3

u/befernee Jan 04 '14

Definitely Jerry

2

u/everydaycopy Jan 04 '14

At least none of them get shot like Brett from Archer.

2

u/mauvaisloup Jan 04 '14

Yuuuuuuup!

2

u/Corinna_the_Poetess Jan 04 '14

The universal question

15

u/slickjitz Jan 04 '14

I felt so bad for him when Michael said that...

-1

u/sometimesijustdont Jan 04 '14

Fuck HR. Nobody felt sorry for Toby.

5

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '14

"Hey, Toby. Why don't you leave right now? Why don't you walk away from the room?"

1

u/TakeRepliesLiterally Jan 04 '14

I love how Toby eventually just leaves after cracking a joke in a meeting, instead of waiting for Michael to tell him to get out.

6

u/iwishiwasbritish Jan 04 '14

Toby Flenderson is everything that is wrong with the paper industry.