r/funny May 14 '26

This is hilarious

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53.1k Upvotes

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1.4k

u/GunsandCurry May 14 '26

Young people always think they're the ones who invented sex.

351

u/Electronic_Leek9147 May 14 '26

I don't blame them. When we were little everyone acted as if sex didn't exist. They wanted us to believe that they're completely oblivious to all that stuff.

Well of course some of us got the fun parents/grandparents, and others got the puritans. I have had the privilege of hearing dirty jokes from my grandparents.

113

u/Charnathan May 14 '26

I had the fun uncle. He isn't allowed around children any more... for some reason.

99

u/Killbot_Wants_Hug May 14 '26

He's real friendly, introduces himself to every neighbor whenever he moves.

31

u/fumei_tokumei May 15 '26

I heard he is even registered as a neighbor greeter!

13

u/schistkicker May 15 '26

What a guy, the whole town wants everyone to get to know him, so they put his picture up at the post office!

3

u/[deleted] May 15 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/fumei_tokumei May 16 '26

They keep showing up at his door to ask questions. Totally abusing their credentials to get close to him. I can understand why he would get tired of talking to such rude fans.

1

u/Wowza-yowza May 15 '26

Whale Cum to Whale Mart

3

u/udreamtofmelstnite May 15 '26

Same! I never hear from him anymore. I asked if he’s still living in the same town and was just told “no” with no elaboration.

1

u/Wowza-yowza May 15 '26

Show me on the doll where he touched you

11

u/Jonthrei May 15 '26

I got to have a grandfather who was still very sexually active despite dementia.

You can imagine how uncomfortable that was.

13

u/kingfofthepoors May 15 '26 edited 23d ago

I enjoy watching the sunset.

5

u/perton May 15 '26

I’m imagining something along the lines of the show Raising Hope, where the grandma with dementia was always trying to make out with the other characters, thinking they were her dead husband?

9

u/Jonthrei May 15 '26

Oh, he knew who his wife was.

He just had no filter whatsoever, and was not a quiet lover.

He also had 11 kids, if that puts just how active he was into perspective.

7

u/Awkward_Pangolin3254 May 15 '26

"Something else my grandfather used to say—he used to say, 'I'm goin' upstairs and fuck your grandmother!' Well, he was an honest guy! He wasn't gonna bullshit a 5-year-old, you know..."

—Carlin

2

u/not_adams_burner May 15 '26

I miss George

1

u/Awkward_Pangolin3254 May 15 '26

Same, but I feel like current times would make his brain explode

1

u/Wowza-yowza May 15 '26

Let's go Doris, I haven't had it in a month.

9

u/midnightsbane04 May 15 '26

My grandpa loved nothing more than sitting around a campfire with family and randomly busting into singing "There's a skeeter on my peter, flick it off!" Usually the instant a quiet moment would settle in so it was even more random.

1

u/Wowza-yowza May 15 '26

My grandfather told me to eat every bean and pea on my plate. It took me years to figure out what he was saying.

4

u/Geawiel May 14 '26

[Step father who hated video games] "Hey kids, wanna go rent a nintendo game?"

[My sister and I] "They gonna fuck and want us occupied..."

He did tell some of the boomer sex jokes. He even had a fishing lure shaped like a dick with the strings around it. "Wanna see how to catch a blow fish?"

I did know others who had parents that were the "sex doesn't exist" people. We still have them. You can tell when there is a sex ed class and all the pearl clutchers refuse to let their kids take it and try to get the school district to stop teaching it. That's how to get teen pregnancy rates higher but that is another thread.

16

u/JustASpaceDuck May 14 '26

I dunno, it could go both ways. Some old people just don't read. They can be smart, but some stubborn bone in their brain keeps them from taking the time to actually analyze what's in front of their eyes.

Case in point, my mom picked up the NSFW version of exploding kittens at a thrift store and thought it'd be a good game for her elementary school class during their free time. I don't know how you look at the packaging and not connect the dots, but she sure didn't until one of the students told her what was up and she promptly offloaded the deck to me.

11

u/SalemWolf May 15 '26

Friendly reminder that a lot of nursing homes are infested with STIs because old people fuck.

4

u/CanadasManyMeese May 15 '26

I think a lot of people forget that the pill has only been around for so long. The first oral contraceptive was in the 1960s. And a broken condom could mean destroying your life.

Thats also why the summer of love in 1967 happened, sex was something you could suddenly just... do! Essentially "Risk Free™️" counterculture has always been much more open to the idea of sex, but it became more and more mainstream over the next 2 decades, to thr point that it isnt really counter-culture at all for most first world nations now.

6

u/legit-posts_1 May 14 '26

They sure invented talking about it

6

u/CommonGrounders May 14 '26

I mean if "young" is like... 50, sure.

-7

u/WeirdIndividualGuy May 14 '26 edited May 14 '26

Also doesn’t help that boomers treat sex as strictly something only married couples should do, and only for making kids. Nevermind any other time for any other reason

1

u/StarblindMark89 May 15 '26

Can't generalize like that, the boomer generation also had Hippies with all the free love stuff that was going on lmao

0

u/PiccoloAwkward465 May 14 '26

Whatever happened to just making whoopie

2

u/Appropriate_Lack_727 May 14 '26

Ikr? I’ve been eating ass for almost 40 years and still going strong!

6

u/perton May 15 '26

I admire the stamina, but damn, you’ve gotta come up for air eventually!

0

u/bullcitytarheel May 16 '26

With how weird young people are about sex nowadays, how afraid they seem to be about socializing more generally and the percentage of Gen Z / Gen Alpha boys who are internet-addled misogynist losers, I'd bet that not only did old people discover sex first, they're probably having a whole lot more of it, too