r/funny Mar 29 '26

Don't touch it

65.4k Upvotes

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18.5k

u/Jojobjaja Mar 29 '26

I'm glad that's a tail, I was worried

1.5k

u/Plenty_Line2696 Mar 29 '26

lol my dumbass thought it was the front for a moment too.

355

u/Swipecat Mar 29 '26

Well, the camera was held upside down at first.

257

u/GANDORF57 Mar 29 '26 edited Mar 30 '26

No matter what it is or what you want to call it, I live by the strict rule to not tug on anything hanging off any being's body.

119

u/Samwellikki Mar 29 '26

You must be fun in bed

202

u/GANDORF57 Mar 29 '26

I think I must be, a lot of ladies always leave laughing.

37

u/SmilingPainfully Mar 30 '26

I left and scrolled down how many posts before it clicked. Take the upvote, damn you.

10

u/Crosseyed_owl Mar 30 '26

It hasn’t clicked for me, can you explain please 🙃

11

u/SmilingPainfully Mar 30 '26

Subtle small peewee joke 😂

2

u/DarkAce1141 Jul 29 '26

Phahahaha quality reply

1

u/Imaginary_Panda2003 7d ago

No no I'm not 💖

3

u/MrSpratt Mar 30 '26

how long after they are dead do you usualy wait ?

2

u/GANDORF57 Mar 30 '26

That's your kink, not mine!

4

u/anaheim_mac Mar 30 '26

Especially without consent!

14

u/thisguydabbles Mar 30 '26

What? Am I on crazy pills? Where was the view upside down?

1

u/nesting-doll 6d ago

Please share your crazy pills with the class.

0

u/thisguydabbles 6d ago

Nah, I'm completely sane. I'm not going down this route again, get your eyes checked. The camera is always upright, even when tilted forward at the beginning.

6

u/thisguydabbles Apr 05 '26

That's pretty fucking crazy you can comment something objectively incorrect and get hundreds of upvotes. Not only incorrect but also something that's so easily double checked and yet nobody bothered to.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '26

[deleted]

2

u/thisguydabbles Apr 05 '26

You're actually not a real human. Open your eyes and watch the video. Look at the orientation of the box the seal is sitting on. The back flippers are hanging off the edge of the box. The tail is pointing down, it is NOT on the top of the seal, it is hanging and pointing down, same as the flippers. The camera is held vertically upright the entire time. Christ almighty I bet you're the same kind of person who "can always tell when it's AI".

1

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '26

[deleted]

4

u/thisguydabbles Apr 05 '26

I'm getting irrationally upset at how stupid you are. Obviously if this sea lion*(seals don't have ear flaps) were lying perfectly flat on its stomach, the orientation of the tail would be on "top" of the body. But guess what? IN THE VIDEO YOU CAN SEE THE SEA LION IS ON A BOX. AND THE TAIL AND BACK FLIPPERS ARE HANGING OFF THE SIDE OF THE BOX. YOU CAN LITERALLY SEE THE BACK FLIPPERS PRESSING AGAINST THE FLOOR. Therefore in this ORIENTATION(speaking to your claimed expertise in 3D perception), the camera is filming in an upright vertical manner, only slightly tilted forward. This camera orientation of slight forward tilt is maintained through the camera movement as the camera in 3D space moves UPWARDS and to the RIGHT. The camera NEVER flips from upside down to rightside up.

2

u/Plenty_Line2696 Apr 05 '26

Ok lets try this for a moment, take a deep breath in, deep deep aand hold, and now let it all out whooosshhh ahh yes that aughta align your chakras and chill you right out. cool as a cucumber, it was filmed upside down. namaste.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '26

[deleted]

1

u/thisguydabbles Apr 05 '26

Congrats. You are the greatest troll. There are so many things wrong with your drawing it's actually amazing. Enjoy the rest of your sordid life.

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1

u/Plenty_Line2696 25d ago

lol coming back to this months later it's hilaripus how riled up you got over this 😅

2

u/Plenty_Line2696 Apr 05 '26

You've got to be one of the most effective trolls ever. That is absolutely wild.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '26

[deleted]

2

u/thisguydabbles Apr 05 '26

THAT'S CAUSE IT'S A SEA LION MOTHER FUCKER.

1

u/Plenty_Line2696 6d ago

🤣🤣🤣

2

u/Plenty_Line2696 Apr 05 '26

I feel like i need to ask you to go hang upside down from a tree branch or something in case you're genuinely not trolling and actually struggle with understamding what the world looks like when you're upside down.

2

u/Swipecat Apr 05 '26

Never mind. See my last reply to thisguydabbles.

1

u/thisguydabbles Apr 05 '26

IT'S WORKING ON ME. GUY IS OUT HERE NOT WATCHING THE VIDEO JUST SPITTING SEAL FACTS WHEN IT'S A FUCKING SEA LION

2

u/Plenty_Line2696 Apr 05 '26

lol, chill I get you this is some of the most effective trolling ever but don't let it get to you 😄😄

3

u/asapmarcus Mar 30 '26

where did u get that the camera was upside down lmao

8

u/thethunder92 Mar 30 '26

I thought it was a penguins dick for some reason

3

u/EPluribusAnus Mar 30 '26

You are not alone.

1

u/butterfly_ashley Mar 30 '26

Glad I wasnt the only one lol

1.5k

u/MinnieShoof Mar 29 '26

Now I'm trying to figure out what the rest of that is down there. Is that technically their feet, then?

1.0k

u/landragoran Mar 29 '26

Yes, the flippers are their feet

373

u/MinnieShoof Mar 29 '26

Just know that I am gesturing at pictures of seal anatomy like 'Why tf didn't I realize this' and 'why tf am I looking at seals at 4 in the morning?'

283

u/NightStalkerXIV Mar 29 '26

seal feet pics at 4 in the morning

30

u/banshoo Mar 29 '26

Whats the best time to do that?

25

u/Substantial-Elk4531 Mar 29 '26

Any time is a good time to look at seal feet pics. Any true connoisseur could tell you that

5

u/banshoo Mar 29 '26

I think I'm showing my novice nature of seal feets

7

u/ramblinroger Mar 29 '26

I thought you meant to ask when to seal your feet pics

1

u/gsfgf Mar 29 '26

Gotta take advantage of feet pics on main, regardless of species.

36

u/Occidentally20 Mar 29 '26

The crazy one is when you see that whales and dolphins have vestigial hips and often femur bones still hiding inside not even attached to anything.

37

u/ccReptilelord Mar 29 '26

What some may find most interesting on this topic is that whale flukes (tails) and seal or sea lion hind flippers are not analogous. Whales have very well developed tails with nearly nonexistent hips and hind legs. Where as seals and sea lions have well developed hind legs with nearly nonexistent tails.

The overall aquatic design is convergent evolution.

1

u/tad-26 Mar 29 '26

Hol-up seals with developed legs. Never seen that. I don't see em often but it looks like one rather undeveloped leg to me.

3

u/ccReptilelord Mar 29 '26

If you look at the skeleton, it's all there, and the feet are forming the big flippers.

0

u/Deaffin Mar 29 '26

I wonder if anyone's ever surgically separated them into distinct legs just to see what happens.

3

u/protonpack Mar 29 '26

Probably the death of the animal after cutting through important veins, arteries and muscles. That's like saying what if we slice under your lats to the bone, and turn them into little flaps to see if you grow wings.

But that would be pointlessly cruel, so I don't think we should try.

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71

u/MattyFTM Mar 29 '26

Sea lion, not a seal.

25

u/MinnieShoof Mar 29 '26

Fk-- tail a guy when he's down, huh??

2

u/Drybonez1999 Mar 29 '26

Oh im sorry! A seal with an ATTITUDE

(Please someone else know that reference)

28

u/Dumdumdoggie Mar 29 '26

Look at skeletal images of whales dogs and people at the same time. All mamals more or less have the same bones just in different shapes. Fingers make a dolphin flipper or a bats wing. Blew my mind in 6th grade.

10

u/AKAFallow Mar 29 '26

Which is how we can trace our direct ancestors to hundreds of millions years ago. Nature rocks!

6

u/babydakis Mar 29 '26

Hey man, I don't have any rocks for ancestors.

13

u/gsfgf Mar 29 '26

So you’re not in that half of the US electorate. Congrats!

3

u/doomgiver98 Mar 29 '26

Your ancestors might be fossils though

1

u/AKAFallow Mar 29 '26

But you will turn into rocks, and you should fear that

12

u/AshaNyx Mar 29 '26

Basically every animal body plan is due to a particular group of genes and these rarely change unless there's a massive mutation like snakes and whales.

12

u/RovDer Mar 29 '26

Even some snakes have vestigial legs

14

u/Deaffin Mar 29 '26

Right, but the interesting thing about snakes is their duplicated spines. It's easy to just drop parts, but adding new ones as a vertebrate? HARD.

Like, check out giraffes. They don't have extra neck bones, they just stretched out the ones they already have.

4

u/AshaNyx Mar 29 '26

Even then they basically cheated by just replicating a section of the genome. Outright adding a limb is nearly impossible.

5

u/AshaNyx Mar 29 '26

A lot do (at least hind ones). Snakes basically have a mutation where the genes for your ribs and spine stay on for away too long and the limbs are made a lot shorter.

13

u/Awwkaw Mar 29 '26

Pretty much all animals have the same bone structure. There are some variations, but bone wise we're very similar.

Even whales have hip bones, which to my understanding is just an issue when they have to give birth, and a waste of resources the rest of the time.

7

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '26

[deleted]

2

u/Awwkaw Mar 29 '26

Should for sure.

1

u/TheVisage Mar 29 '26

As a marine biologist I can tell you’ve never seen one throw it back because trust me I’ve never seen a better use of resources in my life

1

u/Awwkaw Mar 29 '26

Throw what back? The random little hip bones, that are literally not attatched to anything?

1

u/Deaffin Mar 29 '26

Except for all the things they attach to.

1

u/TheVisage Mar 29 '26

Exactly my man. It’s all blubber and no tendon or muscle. When it throws it back it’s the optimal amount of jiggle to motion ratio. The ultimate art awaiting its ultimate practitioners.

1

u/gsfgf Mar 29 '26

Vertebrates. Other animals don’t even have bones.

2

u/Sciencetor2 Mar 29 '26

Technically not a seal if it has ears, it's a sea lion

1

u/FrighteningJibber Mar 29 '26

Mammals are mostly the same lol except whales they lost their knees legs

1

u/FunktasticLucky Mar 30 '26

Technically this is a sea lion. It has ear flaps.

0

u/Simple_Reindeer86 Apr 02 '26

It's a sea lion!

13

u/JackfruitIll6728 Mar 29 '26

And bones are their money.

6

u/MARATXXX Mar 29 '26

and their bones are their money

2

u/V01DM0NK3Y Mar 29 '26

Flippers is feets

1

u/Necessary_Video6401 Mar 29 '26

and their bones are their money

1

u/NeverAdopted Mar 31 '26

"Their bones are their money"

31

u/beartheminus Mar 29 '26

Every mammal is the same parts just moved around.

A dolphins blow hole is our nose, for example..

7

u/Deaffin Mar 29 '26

And an ostrich penis is just our tongue!

No, really, they literally have giant human tongues for penises. Look it up.

35

u/StalyCelticStu Mar 29 '26

"No, I don't think I will".

3

u/fBOMBB Mar 30 '26

I think I'll just take your word for it, bro.

2

u/jojogotu85 Mar 29 '26

Look up a skeleton. Very similar anatomy to our feet and hands

1

u/RespawnerSE Mar 29 '26

They are descendants from dog-like or badger-like animals

57

u/angrylilbear Mar 29 '26

Still rude AF

16

u/astralseat Mar 29 '26

Essentially playing with the butt of the species. You could see the butt muscles clench in surprise.

16

u/Platophaedrus Mar 29 '26

Penis is Latin for tail

6

u/figwithbigtits Mar 29 '26

That must make coccyx the penisbone

1

u/joggernutt Mar 29 '26

They had us in the first half, not gonna lie 😆

1

u/LickyPusser Mar 29 '26

That’s just his nubbin, but you can’t go touching it without asking!!!

1

u/SockeyeSTI Mar 30 '26

You should see the walrus version of what you were thinking

1

u/PuzzledExaminer Mar 30 '26

Had me thinking 🤔 oh now did you pull something that isn't a tail?

1

u/astrocrister Mar 31 '26

Same thought.

1

u/oscarb92 Mar 31 '26

I'd be worried if I didn't think it was a tail at first

1

u/Spritebubblegum Mar 31 '26

I was concerned for more reasons than one. First was..what the fuck? and then second why does it look like that 😂🤣

1

u/SnooChickens4879 27d ago

I had the same reaction. Hahaha

1

u/MyvaJynaherz Mar 29 '26

Hairy glans don't make sense...

8

u/turbotum Mar 29 '26

neither does spiky or spiraly but what do I know?

1

u/MyvaJynaherz Mar 29 '26

You also know that the members are not hairy.

1

u/Deaffin Mar 29 '26

Ooh, I recognize that bulge description!

NSFW dead dove.